


Holding Out for a Hero

by Jane



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is human, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F, I try, If not now then soon, Kara is Kryptonian, Lines from the show, Mon-El as Kara's bro-dude soon, Scenes from the show, Some Fluff, Some humour, You've been warned, amateur angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:55:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane/pseuds/Jane
Summary: Kara had always loved Alex, it was the most human she had felt.It was also the most alien she had felt when Alex couldn't tell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fan fiction I've attempted and posted.  
> The idea came after I stumbled upon a 1.75 hour-ish Sanvers video on YouTube (bless you, multifemslash), I realised that there are so much subtle sparks between Kara and Alex. Also, considering they have a tonne of scenes together, I was inspired to give this ship a try. 
> 
> I do intend to continue this as long as the episodes are available for me to slash and play around. I *might* just forget that I'm supposed to comply with the canon universe and go on and add some fluff n stuff along the way. Life as a student puts me in various moods, so kindly bear with me.
> 
> DC and CW own most of the things in here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to outline where Kara's heart lies.  
> 2x03 till 2x06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

The first day Alex met Maggie Sawyer, Kara stood aside, eyes bouncing back and forth the two women in their cold dispute. “Your jurisdiction ends where I say it does,” Alex had told Maggie bitingly, effectively chasing the shorter woman away, wavy dark hair bouncing as she stalked off.

“Hey,” Kara said, releasing a breath she did not know she was holding, only to hold another one when Alex crossed her arms in front of her. Alex had the adorable scowl on her face, the same lines Kara used to look in awe at whenever the sisters used to study opposite each other. Alex was always so focused on the text in front of her, the complex equations, the labelled diagrams. And Kara was always so focused on Alex, the lines that formed when Alex scowled a little too hard, the lip bite when Alex read, the soft sigh that escaped her mouth when Alex come across something scientifically bedazzling. “Everything okay?”

Alex nodded, waving her and the matter off. “I’m fine. Let’s just,” she said a little too quickly. “Get back to the D.E.O.,” she finished, marching off towards the bullet-proof, armoured van. Kara watched as Alex entered the vehicle and signalled her men to drive away from the crime scene.

Kara had a nudging feeling deep down her stomach; she did not like it. Alex rarely got riled up and while watching Alex get riled up used to be amusing when she was younger, Kara felt a tad possessive over the ability to be able to do so.

When Madam President dropped by the D.E.O., Kara freaked. It was out of idol admiration, pure, sheer idolization. “Did you hear that? That was like a legit quote; people are going to _quote_ her!”

Alex stared at her, a blank expression to her sister’s out-and-out fangirl state. “Well, um, I have to go. I have to conduct my first interview as a reporter. Just… um, call me if she says anything else cool.” She had to dash, really _dash_ before she says anything _embarrassing_ in front of Alex and J’onn.

While Lena Luther was everything in a woman Kara could have possibly ever dreamt of, she was not Alex. Lena was charismatic, drop dead gorgeous, a prodigy in her own rights, kind and let Kara slip when she said that she “flew here on a bus”.

Lena was utterly intriguing, heels and lipsticks, making her all the sexier. When Kara narrowly escaped the alien skin test, Kara could only think about getting back to Alex to tell her all about it.

But Alex had went out on a mission without her backup. Kara waited in worry and fear for Alex’s return.

“I know what you’re going to say: I should’ve waited for you,” Alex was first to draw defence when she stepped into the D.E.O.

Kara crossed her arms, unable to contain her worry anymore. But worry could not triumph the relief at seeing Alex and Kara needed to cross her arms or else those arms would be wrapped around Alex so tight she might suffocate.

“No, I was going to say: you should’ve waited for me, _dummy_!”

Kara knew it sounded childish, but Kara tended to act out like that when she was scared or worried.  Alex smirked at her younger sister in what Kara couldn’t tell was out of adoration or snide.

“What if it’d actually been there, what would you have done?” Kara asked, her eyes shone with sadness as she chased after Alex who continued to walk in large, hurried strides.

“My job.” Alex finally stopped walking and turned to Kara. She had a small mischievous glint in her eyes and her lips set into a tight smile.

The nerve of that girl. Kara huffed. “Make smarter choices next time.”

“Yes ma’am.”

…

Kara fought a Daxamite. Alex watched her closely.

Lena told Kara the story of her adoption, of Lex, of “learning to protect yourself”. Kara thought of Alex, and the countless of times she had been hurt by her and how she would willingly let Alex hurt her all over again.

The next time Kara saw Maggie was when she and Alex stood closely, applauding Madam President’s speech on the Alien Amnesty as they guarded her. Red Hot attacked the scene, blasting fiery flames at civilians, hunting down Madam President. Kara saved Madam President and went straight to Alex, concern written all over her face.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. Of course, Alex would ask if she was okay. Kara could fly, was superhumanly fast and strong, bulletproof and fireproof, and Alex would always be the worried one. Kara shrugged. She did just extinguish fire off herself, and she felt pretty cool doing it.

Maggie was held hostage by an Infernian. Red Hot was brutal, and Alex was determined to save Maggie. Kara was terrified out of her life, almost like the time she decided to use her powers to save Alex from the crashing plane. It was the gut-wrenching fear of losing Alex.

“Right here, Red Hot!” Alex had called out to distract the Infernian.

The fear pounded in her chest as flames were aimed at Alex, dodging expertly to get to Maggie. Kara knew Alex was a trained fighter; Alex trained combat with her and most of the times, Alex would win. But Alex was human, she was _not_ immune to _fire_ and she was running towards it because of Maggie. Kara felt the gut-wrenching _feeling_ , the heart-breaking _feeling,_ and Kara was sure it was more than just the fear of losing Alex to Red Hot but of _losing_ Alex to Maggie.

So, Kara jumped in front of a projectile aimed at Alex, shielding her from the blast. Alex jumped behind some barrels for safety and Kara froze Red Hot. She knew it was inevitable to lose Alex to Maggie, but she was _not_ going to lose Alex to Red Hot.

They ended up saving the day; Kara smiled triumphantly, having won another battle together with her sister. And Maggie proved to be quite the fighter, snatching the gun from Red Hot, delivering the defeating blow, ensuring their win. “You guys are fun!” the detective grinned in glee at the sisters.

Kara caught the look Alex sent the brunette; it was one of relief, of pride, of adoration. And Kara hated that she had to muster a smile in return, pretending that she was not torn inside out. And Kara decided, that _maybe_ it was better for her to stand aside and let Alex and Maggie be. Because she knew, deep down, they were inevitably going to be together and that _she_ , Kara Danvers, was too much of a coward to tell Alex how she felt about her.

When Alex brought Maggie to the D.E.O. to treat the wounds from the fight, Kara was told to leave them alone at the treatment bay. Kara could not help but eavesdrop. When Maggie said that she had a “hot date”, Kara wanted to feel bruised for Alex. She wanted to feel _hurt_ and _disappointed_ for Alex just so that her sister would be spared from said _hurt_ and _disappointment._ When Maggie left, Kara carefully dropped by the treatment bay.

“So,” she started, treading cautiously.

“So…”

“Do you want to head back?”

“You… uh… you go ahead. I have to finish up some work,” Alex had thrown the sad excuse on the table and expected Kara to buy it. But Alex had the tight smile on her face which was forced, and Alex looked like she needed space and time, so Kara simply nodded, threw an arm around Alex’s neck for a full-hearted, half-hug and left for the prison they kept Mon-El the Daxamite.

Alex and Maggie had gotten a lot closer while busting the illegal alien-fighting ring. Kara had tried to be supportive of Alex’s blatant crush on Maggie. It was painful to watch Alex wrestle her feelings for Maggie because Kara could _empathize._ Kara wrestled her feelings for Alex, was still wrestling, and she had a crappy feeling that she would always be wrestling it. But Kara stood behind Alex, loving Maggie slowly but surely. Kara knew that Maggie and Alex were suited for one another; the way they think, strategic minds combine, all beauty and brains. They practically finished each other sentences, complemented each other’s thought process. Kara felt uneasy, standing in between them. 

Alex had always been the smart one and Kara the strong one. Kara could never wait for the puzzles to be solved. While Alex would think everything through from every possible corner of logic, Kara was contented just punching the puzzle to the ground. That was just how she was. And Maggie, dear sweet Maggie, was so like Alex. So level-headed, so sharp and quick-witted. Maggie, dear sweet Maggie, was a detective with intelligence to match Alex’s and Kara was… Supergirl.

When Winn Schott told Kara, that Alex had contacted Maggie again for help to confront another alien, Kara worried her heart out. Alex had gotten hit and Kara helped nurse her bruises, careful with tender touches.

Kara helped them anyway in solving the case, came when Alex called, put herself in danger but what _wouldn’t_ Kara do for Alex. That included getting her “ass handed to her by a 7-foot alien gladiator”. Alex treated Kara’s injury, listened to Kara complain and whine.

She saw the appreciative gaze Maggie sent in Alex’s way, the way they lingered a little too long for her own liking at Alex’s waist, the way the slim-fitting maxi clung to her, the way Alex looked too good to be real, mask on _and_ off. Because Kara felt like she could run her fingers along the lengths of Alex’s toned calves, erupting goose bumps as she breathed down Alex’s neck and bare shoulders. Kara had so many thoughts, so many _things_ she wanted to do to Alex in that dress, _out_ of that dress. But Maggie was the one who got to be close to Alex that night while Kara waited for her cue.

So, Kara consoled herself, allowing herself to indulge in her big fat crush on Lena Luthor while Alex fell head over heels in love with Maggie unknowingly. Lena was nice to her; she gave her parking validation, she told her receptionist to show Kara in anytime without restrictions. Lena said things like, “I know you’ll be there for me when the time comes” and dispensed her help generously to help Kara help Alex _and_ Maggie break the case. And Lena gave her the smothering look, dark lashes and gorgeous brows alluring Kara’s screwed up heart.

Kara brought Maggie and Alex to the scene of the crime. They broke the fight, captured the wanted and saved the day.

And when the night ended, Maggie left with her girlfriend. And Kara left with Alex in her arms; Kara readied herself to nurse Alex’s broken heart; one Alex did not even know was bruised.

Kara had made Alex watch The Notebook with her, potstickers and Alex’s favourite pizza-flavoured snacks prepared. And Alex had laughed and cried, and Kara had her arms around her big sister’s shoulders, praying that they could stay like this for a lot longer; that Maggie would be unblinded to see the gem that Alex was, or that Alex would be unblinded to see the love Kara held for her.

…

Weeks later, Kara found out from Alex that Maggie was single again. Alex could not stop ranting about Maggie’s ex, the hot brunette who dumped Maggie and called her a ‘borderline sociopath’.

“Who’d do that?” Kara counted, it was the ninth time Alex said it.

It was not long before Winn figured it out.

And Kara did not know if she should laugh or cry when Alex showed up in front of her apartment, doughnut in hand, lips coated in sugary goodness. Kara did not know if she should lean in and kiss the sweetness on Alex’s lips or if she should just stand and stare like a star-stricken idiot. So, Kara asked instead, “You never eat sugar in the middle of the day. What’s wrong?”

She should not have, because Alex licked said sweet lips and Kara’s mind went blank for a second. “I’m just really confused about something at the moment.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, your steps are exceptionally grumpy today. You okay?”

Trust Alex to point out that her steps were grumpy. And so, Kara entered a rant about Mon-El being an utter ass at work. Alex listened patiently, accepting the cold beer Kara offered her. Alex was wise in giving advices, she brought up their teens, how she used to want Kara to follow in everything that she did and how it never worked.

 “Mon-El is not you. Just like you’re not me. So, what works for you, might not work for him. You know, people just have to figure out what works for them. Who they are inside, what they are meant to be. Not everyone can rock argyle like you do.” And then there was that little smirk.

Kara swooned a little.

The surprise visit from Lena was completely unexpected. Kara stood between her sister and the woman she was supposed to be crushing on. Kara felt stuck, like she did not know what to say next that would not result in her being a bumbling idiot in front of Alex or Lena.

“Hiya. I know you. You saved my life.” Lena smiled at Alex.

“Special Agent Danvers. FBI.”

They shook hands.

“She’s my sister.” Kara offered.

Ah, she could do normal idiot instead of bumbling idiot. Kara grinned, and Lena continued to talk.

Lena had asked them for their help. “I need to get in touch with Supergirl.”

When Lena left, Alex guffawed at Kara’s horrified expression. “This is _not_ happening.”

“Lena Luthor seems nice.”

Kara shrugged, not wanting to get into details about _that_ with _Alex._

“So?” Alex prompted.

“So apparently, I am going to see Lena as Supergirl. And attend the gala as both Supergirl _and_ Kara.”

“Sounds like an extremely interesting night ahead.”

Kara wanted to wipe that smug teasing grin off of Alex’s perfect face. She could think of one particular way she would like to do it. But it involved connecting their lips together in a _very_ heated kiss. Kara rolled her eyes. She needed to get her alien hormones in check. She had dealt with way too much crap today. And Alex looked so beautiful and was so sweet to her and Kara fell in love all over again.

“Hey, hey, you’ll be fine. You always are.”

And with the softest touch, Alex withdrew her hand from Kara’s cheek and said goodbye.

…

Mon-El brought her out drinking at the bar. Mon-El kept bringing her shots and Kara was glad to down them. There was something she thought she could flush out by the sheer amount of alien alcohol she was consuming. She was completely wasted when Alex showed up.

“Kara, hey!”

“Hey! You look like my sister!”

“Are you slurring your words?”

“Am I? Cho-c-c-co-late. Cho-co-l-late.” Kara was definitely slurring her words because she was definitely drunk. Did Alex show up to rescue her from Mon-El’s clutches of anti-sobriety and hedonistic ways? Alex, in her leather jacket and black tights? Alex, in that flame of dark red hair and kissable lips? Kara would go home with Alex drunk or otherwise any day.

“Wow. Kara Danvers drunk.” Alex deadpanned. “That’s a first.”

Kara snorted and giggled into her own hand.

“Wow. Um, hey, have you seen Maggie?” Alex asked, her eyes already locked onto said brunette at the pool table. Kara followed her gaze. Maggie who? Oh, Maggie. That Maggie.

Kara felt burning envy and clouded judgement. She tasted hazy alcohol and spinning lights. She heard Alex’s, “You know what. Sit tight, I’m driving you home.” Kara hiccupped and followed Alex with her eyes.

Alex was so caring, making sure Kara did not _fly_ home _drunk_. Kara giggled a little and placed her flushed face against the cool surface of the table. Alex’s figure looked amusing sideways. Kara giggled again but kept staring.

Kara used her Super Hearing and through her drunkenness, she could hear Maggie tell Alex to come out to her family.

Alex had never seen Kara drunk. No one had. And drunk Kara was just as useless as asleep Kara in the D.E.O.

When Kara woke up, Alex was gone, and Kara felt like a loser. She was never going drinking with Mon-El ever again.

…

When Alex came out to Kara, Kara was sure she could appear happier. But she couldn’t. Here Alex was, being courageous and true to herself, literally putting her ego aside to _beg_ for Kara’s approval of her identity. And all Kara wanted to do all her life was to beg Alex for her acceptance of her love.

And when Alex mentioned Maggie, as in, “I started to develop feelings for her”, Kara could only parrot her words.

Kara felt breathless, not the good kind. But the kind that needed time to not break down into tears.

“So, she’s gay?” Kara asked uselessly. She knew, of course she did. She just needed to say something, to hear Alex say something _else_ so that she did not have to process the fact that Alex literally declared her love for Maggie while coming out as gay at the same time. It was not fair that Maggie had the privilege of being Alex’s first girl she loved. Kara wanted to be Alex’s first. Kara wanted it to be her that Alex professed her love to. Kara wanted Alex to be all nervous and cute, trying to tell her that she liked her.

“Have you felt like this before?”

“Not like this.”

Oh.

Kara was hurt, plain and simple. And Kara wanted to spite Maggie, as innocent as she was. “Have you ever been with a girl?”

“No, never.”

“Ok, what’s different? I know you haven’t been dating much lately…”

“Look, this isn’t because I haven’t found the right guy.”

Of course.

“I never said it was… I am just trying to understand…” How easy it was for you to come out and I still swallow my feelings alone in silence.

Alex told her about Vicki Donahue from high school. Kara sat, listening to Alex literally tell her about having a crush on Vicky, the Vicky with the curly blonde hair and the dimpled smile. About how Alex loved sleeping over at her house, in her room, in her bed.

Kara swallowed, _gulped_ , really, because Kara loved sleeping over in Alex’s bed. Kara _felt_ something, and it _scared_ her. And the next thing she knew, Kara was fighting with Alex over stupid little things. Kara listened to Alex literally speak what she had always felt.

And Kara softened when Alex quivered in her voice, when tears started to form. She knew how painful it was, the sheer force and strength of the need to be loved back. Alex wanted to be loved back by Maggie and Kara, all Kara wanted was for Alex to love her back.

“Do you know if Maggie likes you?” Kara asked, shoving her feelings deep down. She was so used to it by now, she pulled it off naturally. Kara did not mean to sound bitter, or harsh, or curt. But judging from the saddened look on Alex’s face, Kara supposed that she did sound bitter. She tried to fix her mistake, tried to tell Alex that she was here to listen to her, to support and love her anyway. But Alex’s defences were up already.

With a hardened look, Alex stood up. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

…

When Alex offered to back Kara up during their next mission, Kara couldn’t stand the thought of Alex around her because it was all too much for her to take. She thought she was ready to hear Alex come out once and for all, but it _hurt_ too much. So, Kara declined Alex’s help, leaving Alex confused and if Kara caught it right, _hurt._ That confused Kara.

Kara had returned from the mission, stuffing her face in potstickers because she could. She had received a text from Alex. A simple one that read:

‘You okay?’

And Kara had responded with a simple one that read:

‘I’m fine.’

But Alex dropped by anyway. Because Alex was Alex, her older sister, the most caring person she knew, the one that had always looked out for her, got her back, loved her. Kara let Alex switch the TV off.

“I said I was fine… You didn’t need to check on me.”

“I’m not… I’m not checking on you.” Alex stopped next to Kara on the couch. It forced Kara to look at her. To gaze upon the art of Alex’s face, to challenge herself not to fall in love with Alex any more than she was already because it would hurt her further. “Kara, you’ve been weird ever since I told you.”

“I don’t mean to be.”

“Kara, I know when you’re sad. Or disappointed.”

“I would _never_ be disappointed in you.”

“But—

“You said you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I do! But if you’re not okay with it!”

“I am so okay with it!” Kara lied through her teeth. She was so hurt and confused, the lie slipped. “Sit down… Alex.”

When Alex sat down next to Kara, the younger sister took a deep breath. “I feel like I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For not creating an environment where you felt like you can talk about this with me… All those years we spend together growing up… the endless nights talking and sharing… now I realise that they were all about me and my secrets. There’s never been room for you and… that’s my fault.”

Kara looked up intently at Alex. This was the rawest truth she had told Alex in some time. Alex’s held her gaze softly.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong at all.”

“I do know how it feels to keep a part of yourself shut off. To keep it inside; and I know how lonely it feels… But Alex, you are not alone.”

Alex pulled a deep breath, her voice quivered when she begged, “I can’t do this without you.” She stared at Kara, tears glistening her eyes. She looked breath-taking in her vulnerability.

“You don’t have to.”

Alex sobbed, smiling at Kara’s words. Kara knew then, this was what Alex needed. A support system. She was Alex’s support system. If Kara could do anything for Alex, she felt like this was it. Alex needed Kara as her younger sister. Kara could do that for Alex. What _wouldn’t_ Kara do for Alex?

“So, what is she like? Maggie.” Kara smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Alex’s ear. She loved the brief contact her fingers made with the side of Alex’s cheek. She loved the way Alex leaned slightly into the touch. She loved the way Alex let her tears fall freely. She loved the way Alex laughed, the sound tear-choked, overwhelmingly beautiful, so pure and true. It was all Alex; Alex that Kara loved.

“I… I always like her so much. She’s strong and smart… and tough and she’s beautiful. She’s so beautiful.” Alex was breathy when she told Kara about Maggie.

Kara’s heart broke a little, but this was not about her. “So are you,” Kara was breathy when she told Alex. Alex smiled, and Kara thought that her broken heart can be fixed after all; by that heaven-sent smile. Maybe the pain was all worth it.

When the notification came in, Alex sighed. “D.E.O. is reporting an alien attacking civilians in an alleyway—

“I’ll go get the alien. You get the girl.”

Kara needed to punch something, _many_ things; needed to leave Alex for a while. She needed to go mend her broken heart somehow.

…

Kara learned that Alex had confronted Mon-El at the bar.

“She’s the one that believes in you, Mon-El. That’s why she’s so upset with you all the time! She thinks you have the potential to make a difference. Like she does; to be a hero!”

That was Alex’s little way of helping Kara. Helping Kara with Mon-El but helping Kara nonetheless. Helping Kara with fighting Parasite but helping Kara nonetheless. And Kara berated herself for being too happy, too grateful about it. She berated herself for falling a little more in love with Alex. She couldn’t help it when it came to Alex. Alex was her Kryptonite.

She wanted to thank her older sister. She wanted to hug her, to be close to her. It had been days since Alex dropped by her apartment, told her about Maggie, broke her heart.

It had been days and Kara wanted to see Alex even if it meant getting her heart broken again.

“Alex, let me in. I can see you in there.”

Alex was upset. She was alone, drinking on her couch. Kara’s heart broke quicker than she thought it would. Alex wouldn’t let me in. It hurt her more than anything when Alex shut her out.

She let herself in, flew, more like it.

So, Alex told Maggie that she loved her, kissed her, and Alex was upset because Maggie did not feel the same way. Alex was angry, at herself, embarrassed, upset, humiliated.

“I shouldn’t have said anything! I should’ve just kept my mouth _shut_!”

Alex was on the verge of breaking down, tears staining her cheeks.

“She doesn’t like me… like that.”

And Kara surged forward to catch Alex in an embrace she wished could convey all the warmth, love and support she could muster by her sole existence.

“I’m so h-humiliated!”

“No… I’m proud of you…”

And Kara planted a soft kiss on Alex’s shoulder while Alex cried into hers for the next few hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened in 2x07, and what did not happen in 2x07.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Guardian made the news.

Kara was sceptical, and Jimmy Olsen was determined to convince her otherwise. Alex brought them their beer, appreciating the cheaper than usual alcoholic beverage while Kara tried not to stare too frequently at her sister, appreciating the way the leather jacket and maroon tank accentuated some of her _assets._

“What do you have against the guy?” James asked, leaning on his elbow on the bar table, putting the spotlight on Kara.

Alex and Winn looked at Kara pointedly.

Kara laughed, trying to get a grip on her point. “Well for starters, why wear a mask? Why cover your face when you go up against the bad guys? _I_ don’t wear a mask.”

Alex chuckled, while Winn offered his opinion about Guardian being someone who “photographs well”.

“I bet he’s working with a partner,” Alex said, tipping the bottle to her lips and Kara forced her gaze away from her.

“W-why? Why do you say that?” Winn panicked mildly.

“I’m just saying, in every situation, Guardian seems to be one step ahead. That screams sidekick,” Alex said, firm on her hypothesis.

It was banter, all in good nature.

For Kara, however, it was to take Alex’s mind off her recent development. She could still remember how utterly hurt Alex was that night, how warm she had been in her arms as Alex cried and Kara consoled. Kara thought just maybe, they could mend their broken hearts _together._ Alex needed distractions; it usually worked for Kara anyway.

“Maybe you are just afraid of some competition,” James teased.

“No, no, no, no. Alex, you agree with me, right? The mask, the voice changer thing,” Kara said, turning to her older sister for backup. “It’s _weird_!”

“Mmhmm,” Alex hummed in agreement, chuckling and nodding.

Some playful banter may just be therapeutic.

“Danvers!”

Alex knew that voice from anywhere; spent hours, days, thinking about that voice.

Of course, Maggie Sawyer got to command the attention of everyone at the table just like that. Alex sucked in a breath and Kara could feel her tense next to her.

“Hey,” Maggie said, smiling to pronounce her dimples. “How are you?”

“Uh, good, good, yeah,” Alex replied, jumping to her feet to greet the dark-haired detective.

Kara would tease the nervousness in Alex’s voice if the circumstances were different. But it was not; Maggie had hurt Alex. The fact was that Alex was still hurting. And Kara decided that she did not quite like this Maggie woman. Kara gave Alex a soft smile, trying to give her sister the support she needed.

Alex stammered when she introduced the group to Maggie.

“This is James, Winn,” Alex gestured, catching her breath at the same time. “And Kara,” Alex finished, looking down when she said Kara’s name. Maggie smiled politely at them, then turned to Kara as if recognizing her, exclaimed, “Oh, the sister!”

Alex looked on nervously while Maggie and Kara exchanged pleasantries. “I’ve heard so much about you from Alex,” Maggie said, smiling wider.

“And I’ve heard all about you,” Kara kept her tone in check, settling somewhere between civil and hostile. Alex held her breath, knowing that Kara could very well fling Maggie to space should she want to. And Alex knew her younger sister _would_ do that, after Kara had seen how hurt Alex had been by Maggie. Somewhere between civil and hostile just had to do for now.

“Can I borrow you for a minute?” Maggie asked Alex.

Alex contemplated for a split second before nodding. They left for a more secluded corner of the bar, Maggie leading the way. Kara was stuck between tracking them with her Super Hearing and respecting Alex’s privacy. Kara decided that Alex deserved the respect. Maybe if she could excuse herself for a moment, she can fly high enough, get distracted by the enchanting view of National City and not be tempted by her curiosity to eavesdrop on their conversation. Or maybe if Kara would just stare at her bottle of beer long enough and focus on the condensation on the outer surface of it hard enough, Alex would return to the table and they could go back to their playful banter, filled with laughter and fun. Maybe if Kara could stop caring so much about Alex; let the woman get hurt, learn things the hard way even if it meant getting her heart broken again. Kara wondered if it was fair to want Alex to feel how she felt all the time, broken hearts and unrequited love.

Maggie acknowledged the elephant in the room. “I just want to make sure everything’s okay between us; the last time we saw each other, things got a little complicated.”

Alex replied with grace. “I think they are pretty straight-forward. I’m pretty fresh of the boat; it’s not your thing. It’s no big deal.” Even the shrug was pulled off charmingly. Alex surprised herself with her composure. It was a big step up from her bumbling self at the table just now.

“I like you, Alex. It’s just… you know, situation. It’s nothing personal.”

“No, I didn’t think it was.” Alex even hid her hurt with _grace_. The way Maggie’s words tore through her heart. The way Maggie’s smile said that it was _nothing personal_ indeed. The way Maggie’s eyes shone with such sincerity in her apology.

“Okay. Good,” Maggie said. “Friends?”

Alex looked down at the extended hand. “Yeah, sure.”

Maggie’s smile grew, and Alex thought maybe she could settle with just being friend. Maybe Alex could be contented with just making Maggie smile like that all the time. Maybe happiness could be this… easy. But it was not. It was not easy, it was painful. And happiness was not supposed to be painful. It was not supposed to be one-sided because Alex was sure, she was not happy. She did not want to be _just_ friends.

When Alex returned to the table, Kara could not help but sigh in relief that Alex was smiling, albeit softly. Alex always had this tough demeanour.

“You okay?” Kara asked, offering her sister a smile of her own.

“Yeah, good.” Alex said quickly, and Kara didn’t miss the sadness in her voice. “So, where’s Mon-El? Doesn’t he practically live here?”

Kara knew Alex when she switched topics like this. Out of respect for her need to keep her personal life _personal_ , at least from Winn and James, Kara let the matter slide.

“Knowing him, he’s probably at Darla’s apartment, or Eve’s apartment, or that blonde Valeronian? What’s the word for a male floozie?”

Alex chuckled, sensing Kara’s pure displeasure at the mention of the Daxamite. She felt bad for Kara that Mon-El was too aloof to realise her beautiful sister’s kind heart and eagerness to help him.

“A Daxamite.”

Kara guffawed, and smiled at Alex appreciatively. Even amidst her sadness, Alex could still crack a joke.

…

Kara never expected the strong emotions that evoked within her when revealing her past thoughts to J’onn.

“I was feeling so alone. I started to cry, and Eliza came into my room. I yelled her to get out,”

J’onn scoffed. “ _Yelled_. It’s hard to imagine you as a teenager.”

“Well, I wasn’t always this mature.” Kara smiled at the memory of her more rebellious phases as a teenage girl. She used to drive Alex crazy with her antics. “When Eliza refused to leave, she said that my parents would want me to be loved. And nothing could replace them, that they were a part of who I am.”

Kara felt choked in her emotions and the impending sobs. “That was the first time I really let het her hug me. And that was the first time I didn’t feel so alone anymore.”

Kara remembered how things had changed from that pivoting point. How easy it was to let love in, to love. How amazing it felt to connect to the Danvers, to forge that bond with them. Kara remembered how wonderful it was to open up to Alex, sharing what sisters would share, what best friends would share. What Alex and she had, was deeper, stronger, more special than anything she ever knew on Earth. It was terrific, to no longer feel like a stranger in her own home; and she had the Danvers to thank for.

“Having M’gann in your life doesn’t mean losing your family. It means… feeling whole again.”

Kara couldn’t help but think about how Alex had _always_ made her felt whole.

…

Alex was worried. Alex realised that she would _always_ be when it came to Kara. “Hey, Winn, have you seen Kara? Last I heard, she was on her way to help capture Guardian.”

Alex caught sight of Maggie Sawyer on TV. She forced her gaze away from the screen to look pointedly at Winn.

“She’s… probably just missed him. She’s probably at CatCo. Speaking of Guardian, um, you got to tell your friend to lay off him,” Winn said, referring to Maggie, Alex’s _friend_. Alex winced internally.

“Why? What’s it to you?”

Alex thought Winn could not be more obvious when he plunged into his nerve-wracked rant about his “support of the vigilante cause”.

“I know 6 different _very_ painful ways to get you to tell me who Guardian is using my _index finger._ ” Alex had Winn cornered and backed against a wall just for dramatics. Winn was a mess of nerves by then and whispered, “James! J-James is Guardian. G-Guardian is… James…”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Alex scoffed, letting go of Winn. She took a step back and fished out her cell.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling Kara!”

“No! You cannot call Kara. You can’t tell anyone about this! Not Maggie! Not your sister! James is out there, he’s trying to _help_ , a-a-and he’s helped! He helped with Parasite and he’s going to help stop whatever this is that’s killing this people. Because you and I know that James Olsen is not a murderer!”

Alex reluctantly put down her cell, tucking it firmly into her pocket.

“Thank you!”

Alex rolled her eyes, smacking Winn on his head and stalked away. “I’ll deal with the both of you later!”

Alex would deal with them _now_ , get in touch with Maggie, pull some strings, help James and his ‘vigilante cause’, but Kara needed her _now_ and Alex needed to help her sister.

Except, Winn dropped her six voicemails begging her to get Maggie to “lay off Guardian”. So, Alex found herself texting Maggie, braving herself to meet up with the detective and telling her to drop her prime murder suspect.

“He’s not a killer, Maggie, you’re targeting the wrong guy.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“Well, that’s it.” Even she sounded stupid to herself. Alex decided Winn and James owed her _big_ time for this.

“You want me to drop my prime murder suspect, you got to give me more than _that_!”

“I can’t. It’s classified.” Alex admired and despised Maggie’s stubbornness at that moment. Curse all these mixed feelings.

“Come on, Alex. We’re friends.”

 _Friends._ That got Alex. 

“ _No,_ ” Alex said bitingly. “Maggie, we’re _not_ friends.”

“Oh. Okay, I’m lost. What happened?”

“We hung out, we got close. You called me out for liking you. And then I had the guts to admit, ‘yes, it’s true’. Then you told me that my feelings are real and that I deserved to be happy. So, I thought you meant that I deserve to be happy _with you_.”

“Alex, I—

“No, I’m not done. Because then you convinced me to come out to my _sister_ and I did. Because I was sure of one thing. And that was my feelings for you. Initially, I was terrified. But ultimately, I was proud to come out. Because it wasn’t just some _concept,_ t was about my feelings for this amazing woman. But now? I don’t feel liberated, or like I’m on some great journey. All I feel is _pain_ because you don’t want me.”

Alex couldn’t believe that those words came out of her mouth. Those were thoughts she thought reserved for her own internal musing. Those were thoughts she thought she would never share with anyone save maybe Kara.

“Alex, that’s not why--

“Look, save it. It’s not what’s important. What’s important is that you back off Guardian.”

With that, Alex walked away from Maggie. She walked away from the pain, but it felt… like nothing had changed. It felt like the same _pain_ and coupled with her worry for where in _space_ could Kara be.

…

Kara met Lillian Luthor. She verbal-jousted with that woman who carried the same damn charisma Lena carried. Except Lillian Luthor was a liar, a kidnapper, a killer (well, among the more impressive list of things she claimed she was: a doctor, a patriot, a mother).

“Does Lena know about Cadmus? Does she know what her mother really is?”

“And what are you to my daughter?”

“I’m a friend!”

Lillian was direct with her strong dislike for the alien-kind. She was spiteful, fuelled with vengeance. And Kara was helpless behind bars.

Kara was helpless when Lillian pulled the trigger on Mon-El, the bullet injuring his thigh. Kara was helpless when Lillian threatened to put another one through his heart.

Lillian wanted Kara to solar flare, wanted Kara to be human for a while.

Kara was _not_ going to let Mon-El die. Alex once told her that Kara was the kindest being she’d known, the most selfless, alien or otherwise. Alex once told her that she was strong too, not because of her Yellow Sun-induced powers, but because she was relentlessly tough, smart, brave and would not give up on those whom she loved. Those words rang beautifully in her mind when Kara lost consciousness, exhausting the last of her energy in her heat vision. Kara dropped to the ground, felt the sting of Lillian’s slap across her face.

Kara was completely helpless when they strapped her to a metal bed, when they drew her blood, when she realised that Lillian was not going to save Mon-El, that Kara might not be able to save those whom she loved. She thought of J’onn, she thought of her friends from the Alien Bar. She thought of James, of Winn, of the people of National City.

She thought of Alex.

…

She was thrown back into her cell hours later, next to Mon-El where she admitted to him that she was scared. Kara was scared out of her wits, out of her strength. Supergirl had always been her medium to _save_ herself, save those she _loved._ Without her powers, Kara was _terrified._ Because unlike Alex who saw the best of her, Kara knew she needed her powers to be strong.  

“Mon-El, if something happens… If I don’t get out of here, I need you to tell Alex something.” Kara swallowed the lump in her throat. She hated to imagine Alex in any kind of danger. She hated to not be able to _save_ Alex. “I need you to tell her to just keep living her life on her own terms,” Kara said, pouring her heart into her request. If anything was her saving grace now, it was the idea that Alex would live on happily. It was the idea that Alex would continue to love and be loved. Alex, and her beautiful smile, deserved to be immortalised forever. Kara chuckled under her breath. She loved the girl so much. “And tell her I wasn’t scared okay?” she added as an afterthought. She wanted to remain strong in Alex’s memory. She wanted to always be Alex’s Supergirl.

“Well if I don’t make it and you do, you’re welcome to tell everyone that I was scared out of mind!” Mon-El said with a chuckle. The lines of fear on his face betrayed nothing but Kara laughed anyway, appreciating his humour in such dark times.

Kara honestly thought that they had little left of hope; that was until a hooded man came and commanded them to follow him. That was until she learned that Jeremiah was alive all the while and _saving_ them. Kara could barely contain her tears anymore. Jeremiah worked to help to disinfect Mon-El from the lead. Kara tried to take in the fact that her foster father was very much _alive_ and in front of her after years of missing him.

“We should have found you sooner!”

“Doesn’t matter. You were off saving the world. I am so proud of who you’ve become!” Jeremiah said, giving Kara a warm smile.

Kara thought of Alex, the resemblance of the smile, the warmth it radiated. “B-but Alex! When she sees you… She was so strong, she took over everything.”

“She’s always been too strong for her own good,” Jeremiah said lovingly. Kara resonated with him.

Jeremiah saved Mon-El, took out the lead bullet. Jeremiah told them to leave the premise.

“No, I’m not leaving you. I’m not losing you again!”

“Kara, I’ll be fine. Please just go. I’ll slow them down!”

“If I leave you here, Alex will never forgive me!” Kara said, tears in her eyes.

“Kara if you die here, there will be no one to forgive.”

Kara was torn but he knew Jeremiah was right. They needed to get out of there safely if there was even any chance in defeating Cadmus. “I love you,” Kara dived in for a hug.

“I love you too,” Jeremiah hugged her tightly. “Now go!”

…

Alex and Maggie caught Guardian in action.

“The sirens are getting louder,” Alex reminded Maggie, guns pointed at James in his Guardian armour.

Maggie decided quickly to let Guardian go. Alex smiled in thanks at her, and James nodded in gratitude at them before taking off.

Alex rushed back to the D.E.O. as soon as she could, steps hasty towards the medic bay. “Oh my god! I just heard—

“Alex!”

“I had no idea Cadmus took you; I should’ve been there!”

“Alex, Jeremiah helped us escape!”

Alex’s worried expression turned to surprise and confusion quickly. “You saw dad?”

“And I know where he is,” Kara replied, nodding.

The sisters wasted no time. Alex led her team to the location Kara informed her about, but they had missed Cadmus.

“Hey, we’ll find him.” Kara placed a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder when the team returned to the D.E.O. Alex threw her weapons on the desk, turning to Kara and pulled her into a hug. Kara smiled into the embrace, into Alex’s warmth. The nightmare in the cell, exhausting herself after a solar flare, being held down and having her blood taken from her against her will; the shuddering fear of dying, of not being able to see her Alex again, of not being able to save Alex from all the dangers of the universe, the fear of not being able to love Alex again; they all seemed to fade away when her sister tightened their embrace, her warmth enveloping Kara until all Kara could think of was how nice it – _she—_ felt, how lucky she was to have Alex in her life.

Kara pulled Alex closer until they were practically melded together and breathed deeply, relishing in the wonderful feeling of Alex close to her, in her arms.

They rendezvoused in Kara’s apartment; Mon-El handicapped on her couch, Winn brought a 6-pack. Alex and James brought pizza and pot stickers or as Kara called them “comfort food”.

“You guys survived Cadmus, the least we could do is get you pizza and pot stickers.” James flashed Kara and Mon-El a great smile, taking a seat on one of the stools at the island.

Alex took a box of potstickers, giving Kara a classic Alex Danvers’ pout. “I’m sorry they’re cold.”

Kara swooned a little, smiling and taking the box from Alex’s hands. Their fingers made brief contact and Kara grinned. She heated the food up with her heat vision. “Not anymore,” she sing-songed and Winn cheered. “Oh yeah! She got her powers back!”

Alex chuckled, smiling at Kara lovingly. Kara’s heart warmed, struck by how alike Alex’s smile was to Jeremiah’s. Kara made a silent promise to bring Jeremiah home safely. For Eliza, for Alex.

Kara offered Mon-El who was stuck on the couch some potstickers. “It’s good to be home,” she said breathily, her gaze instinctively darting towards Alex who was at the island chatting with Winn and James.

“You didn’t find our adjoining cells cosy?” Mon-El joked.

Kara chuckled. “You were really brave, Mon-El!” she said, ignoring the innuendo, getting used to Mon-El and his _nature_.

“I told you I was scared!” Mon-El said with a laugh.

“Well you could be scared while being brave.” Kara chuckled at her own irony. “Maybe there’s a hero in you after all!”

They shared a comfortable silence before Mon-El meaningfully admitted, “Any courage I do have, I learned it from you.”

Kara smiled at the Daxamite, appreciating the sentiment. Mon-El’s admission touched a spot in her heart. Before she could say anything in reply, Winn approached them. “Kara, Alex said the oven’s taking too long. She needs your, um, help heating up the pizza.”

Kara hopped towards where Alex was standing in the kitchen almost too eagerly while Mon-El watched from the couch. The sisters giggled and laughed while snacking on the freshly-heated pizzas. “I swear, this is what your Heat vision is truly for,” Alex joked, taking a large bite out of her pizza.

Kara giggled, eyes zoned in on a smear of tomato sauce at the corner of Alex’s lips.

“I thought they are for fighting the baddies. Y’know? Saving the world and all?” Kara said with a teasing grin. It felt very natural to reach for the mess on Alex’s lips, brushing the corner of her lips with her thumb. It felt very natural to feel her heart beat erratically when Alex stayed still while Kara wiped the sauce off. It felt very natural for Kara and for Alex too, when Kara’s thumb lingered a little too long on her bottom lip. And it felt very natural for Alex to playfully lick Kara’s thumb, for them to giggle about it.

What felt odd, was when Alex began to tease Kara about Mon-El. Kara had to stop herself from frowning because Alex would not get it. “He seems smitten by you,” Alex said, raising a brow. “You seem to like him too?”

Kara looked at Mon-El from across the hall, smiling at the handicapped Daxamite while he eyed her with an unfamiliar softness in his eyes. Alex was sharp like that, but Alex was also very wrong. Kara felt nothing for Mon-El.

“He’s not my type,” Kara replied. Her type was genius bioengineer, expert combatant, dedicated D.E.O. agent, certified badass, sweet, kind-hearted Alex. Her type was caring sister, relentless fighter, brave, selfless Alex. Her type was ex-party girl Danvers. Her kind was pizza-loving Danvers. Her type was dreamer, believer, doer, pursuer. Her type was perfect. Her type was Alex Danvers.

“Listen, Alex…” Kara said once their laughter died down. “When I was at Cadmus…” she paused, finding the right words. Right words came difficultly. Kara scowled.

“Kara, you don’t have to revisit it if you don’t want to,” Alex interrupted, sensing the distress in Kara’s voice, in her scowl. “You told me before how they hurt you; which, by the way, we will definitely get them back for that!”

Kara smirked at how Alex jumped into her protectiveness. “No, Alex. It’s… I just… I want to—

Kara was interrupted by four precise knocks on the door. She scowled, wondering who that could be. “Hold that thought,” Alex smiled kindly at her before walking towards the door. “I got it,” she told James who was also going for the door.

…

When Alex swung the white wooden door open, she was treated by the sight of Maggie. Maggie and her sweet, knee-weakening dimples. Maggie and her mesmerizing brown eyes staring up at her. Maggie and the discreet lip-bite when Alex said, “Hey.”

Alex had to ground herself, hastily closing the door behind her before Kara caught sight of the beautiful brunette. “What are you doing here?”

“I really need to talk to you. And if you just give me two minutes of your time, I promise I’ll get out of your hair.” Maggie shot Alex a hopeful smile.

Alex could not say no to that smile despite her rationality from her experience with Maggie telling her that Maggie was probably going to hurt her, insist that they remain _friends_ even though she was probably aware that Alex wanted more than _that_. Maggie was supposed to be the experienced one, wasn’t she?

But Maggie was also one with the cute smile and the shining eyes.

“Two minutes.”

Maggie’s grin grew wider. “I heard everything you said. I get it,” she started.

Alex’s face dropped, and she struggled to stay cool.

“And if you never want to talk to me again, I’ll respect that. I’ll disappear. But I don’t meet many people,” Maggie said, her eyes conveying her sincerity. “That I care about,” she said, breathing fastened and Alex sensed nervousness. It was unusual to see Maggie Sawyer, confident (and sometimes cocky) detective in a tangle of nerves. Alex regarded her curiously. “I care about you, Alex. A _lot_ ,” Maggie said the last two words with a fond chuckle. “You’ve become really important to me. And um, I hope that one day… you and I could be friends.”

Alex’s gaze softened. The ‘f’ word had significantly less of an impact as she thought it would have on her. Not when it came after what Maggie had said. Maggie and her bright eyes. Maggie and that insecurity of hers. “Because I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it,” the shorter woman finished.

Alex forced herself to remain cool, un-reacting to what Maggie had said. It was going to be extreme on either ends if she’d reacted. So, Alex nodded, walked past Maggie, gripped the door knob firmly before turning to the dark-haired woman. “Pool. Tomorrow night.”

Maybe Alex did let a small smile slip. Maybe Alex was glad that Maggie cared for her. Maybe Alex was thrilled that there might be a sliver of hope. Maybe Alex was willing to hold out for Maggie albeit foolishly. Maybe Maggie’s dimpled smile that came after that was worth it after all.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Alex closed the door behind her to be assaulted by Kara’s teasing grin. “How was that?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Spy much?” she said but could not wipe the smile off her face. Of course, Kara caught that. Kara had always been perceptive and observant when it came to her. Trust no handsy, conniving frat boy to get past Kara’s sweeping eyes.

Kara chuckled, although it sounded forced to even the Kryptonian herself.

“It was good...  It was… we’re just going to be friends.”

Kara smiled softly. Alex was putting up that façade of hers again. If Alex was good with that, Kara would have to be. The younger sister placed a hand on Alex’s. “We’re going to find Jeremiah, Alex,” she said, her voice dropped to a whispered promise.

Alex nodded and then realised that tears were stinging her eyes. Damn salty soldiers. “He um… he seemed okay?” she asked shakily, eyes shining with tears.

“He saved me, Alex. And he was still… him.”

Kara squeezed Alex’s hands gently. Alex nodded, looking down at their joined hands.

“I still can’t believe that Lena’s mother is the head of Cadmus.”

Kara sighed. “I know. I wonder if Lena knows about it.”

“Well, I want to know what Cadmus wants with your blood,” Alex said determinedly, protectiveness lacing her voice.

Kara nodded. “You and I both.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2x08 and 2x09.  
> Lena Luthor saves the day.  
> Sanvers still going strong, Kara still pining, Kara's still hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Thanksgiving couldn’t come sooner. Kara and Alex were glad to see Eliza during the festive season. And Eliza always had a knack of throwing house parties in celebration.

While Kara enjoyed entertaining Eliza with her heat vision tricks on cold food (cold turkeys this time), Alex preferred cooking real food in normal fashion for this occasion. She tossed the tray of lasagne into the oven, knowing half of it would be devoured by her Kryptonian sister within minutes of serving, and set it to cook. 

“You know, I can just… do that thing I do,” Kara offered, gesturing to the food in the oven. “It’ll be a lot quicker.” Kara gave her a small pout, gesturing her rumbling stomach after that.

“ _You_ will have to learn to wait for food. Good food takes time to cook, you know? And effort and love.” Alex grinned, and Kara poked a tongue out at her older sister playfully. Alex lightly smacked Kara’s arm before joining the ongoing conversation at the couch between Winn and James.

“I should be the one to tell her!” James said in a hushed tone.

“Tell who what?” Alex asked, already knowing the answer. She snatched the bottle of beer from Winn before taking a seat next to him. Winn was about to protest but Alex quickly shut him up with a toothy grin.

“So, we thought about what you said,” Winn started softly.

“About Kara,” James pitched in.

“About not keeping secrets from Kara. Yeah, and um…”

“We talked about it and I’m going to be the one who’ll tell her that I’m Guardian,” James finished.

“No, no, no. No, you’re not. No. Because I have something to say, something very _important_ and I’m not going to have you two hijacking the night with your _vigilante hijinks!_ ” Alex was adamant, but Winn decided to push the issue.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep a _wink_ last night; no, I can’t wait!”

“Can’t wait for what?” Kara asked, approaching them and sat next to James.

“Eliza’s glazed carrots?” Winn conjured, his voice high and an obvious cover up to everyone in the room _but_ Kara.

“Oh yeah,” Kara said, salivating at the mention of Eliza’s cooking.

“Yeah, I mean, Winn was gushing about those ever since last year’s Thanksgiving!”

Just like that, the focus was diverted. Mon-El’s arrival distracted Kara even further.

She watched as the handsome Daxamite led Eliza towards the kitchen to discuss ‘science’. If Mon-El was impressing her mother, he was doing a spectacularly weak job.

She scowled when she heard Mon-El ask Eliza, “So what is this… _science_?”

Alex chuckled at Kara’s disdain in the form of a scowl for Mon-El. “You okay?”

“I think Mon-El is hitting on Eliza.”

Alex scoffed. “No way.”

“And, um, he brought, _stuffing_.” Kara held up the mattress stuffing for Alex to grimace.

“Oh boy,” Alex muttered, raising her bottle of whiskey.

“Oh no,” Kara was quick to snatch the bottle from Alex’s grip and shoved it into the fridge. Kara was not going to let Alex get drunk on Thanksgiving. She was going to live through the party sober and happy with her friends and family. Kara made it a personal mission for her and she was going to see it through.

Alex couldn’t give a rat’s fart for Kara’s insistence on her sobriety. When Kara had her back turned to her, teasing Eliza with a, “So, you really hit it off with Mon-El!”, Alex snuck the bottle out of the fridge and took a large gulp of the alcohol happily.

Eliza laughed it off, claiming that Mon-El liked her and that he was just chatting her up to “score points to impress Kara”.

“What? No way!” Kara stubbornly denied.

“Believe me, a mother knows.”

Eliza gave her a quick grin. Kara chuckled under her breath. If only Eliza really knew.

…

The Danvers’ family tradition lived on. James beat Alex to be the first to share his thanks.

James was going to reveal that he was Guardian. It would potentially put a dampen on the whole festivity and Alex was going to protect Kara from _that_ disaster.

“Kara, I for one would like to say, how thankful I am to have such an understanding friend,” James started, raising his glass of red wine.

“Oh, you are so understanding,” Winn tried to help.

“You are,” James repeated.

“No, she’s not,” Alex said pointedly.

“No, she is.”

“ _No_ , she is not.” Alex gave James a glare and James nodded quietly, taking his seat. Mon-El saved the awkward situation by standing up quickly, saying his thanks.

“Out of everybody that could’ve found me in that pod, I’m the luckiest guy in the world that it was you.”

Alex couldn’t explain the twitch of anger that coursed through her veins, hearing Mon-El say what he said. Maybe it was the copious amount of alcohol she had been treating herself to, maybe it was the fact that James actually thought it was a _good_ idea to reveal himself to Kara on Thanksgiving. Alex, despite her near-genius level intellect, could not pinpoint what exactly it was that caused her to stumble onto her feet, babbling, “I’m just going to jump in and say there are so many things that I’m thankful for and honestly, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt this much like myself than right now. And so, there’s- there’s reason for that and _that_ reason- that reason is—

She was unceremoniously not to mention _rudely_ interrupted by a rip in the space-time continuum that chose to appear in the middle of their dining room out of the infinite possible space in the infinite possible second.

Alex found her liquid courage plunge once everyone settle down. Actually, everyone was too shaken to proceed with lunch, so they agreed to return to the D.E.O. to investigate on the mishap instead.

…

While Winn investigated on the rip, Kara volunteered to talk to Lena for more information about Lillian Luthor and Cadmus. Alex had given her a look, one that spelled, “Are you sure?”.

“Yeah, I mean, I know her. I bet you I can get her to say what she knows.”

“How?” Alex could think of a few ways to interrogate and maybe torture the information out of Lena. She was curious what Kara could do.

“Reporting skills!” Kara said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And good old-fashioned sneakiness.”

Alex suppressed a snort. Winn nodded. “Sure, solid plan.” His sarcasm was not lost on Kara.

“You guys! I can be sneaky when I want to.”

“Definitely,” Alex said, smiling at Kara adoringly. Her younger sister was cute, charming mostly, but never sneaky. Alex chuckled when Kara left with boosted confidence. “Yeah, hack Lena anyway,” she told Winn who gave her a, “Duh!”

Alex loved Kara, she really did. But sneaky just wasn’t Kara and she couldn’t afford to let any potential information in apprehending Lillian Luthor and Cadmus and by extension, saving Jeremiah, slip. She was not taking any chances. She didn’t want to have to fear losing Kara to Cadmus again. Once was enough.

…

Kara missed Lena. She hadn’t seen the dark-haired corporate woman for so long, being busy with all the cases and missions lately. Lena was also incredibly nice to Kara, trying hard to help Kara, until Lena mysteriously pulled the “I forgot I had a meeting” card on her. Kara hid her disappointment as she said her goodbye’s.

Alex was not going to be happy with what little information she managed to dig from Lena. Kara sighed in dejection. She flew back to the D.E.O. to hear about what happened at the Alien Bar and Mon-El’s encounter with Hank Henshaw the original. J’onn instructed Kara, Mon-El and him to be under quarantine in the D.E.O. while the mysterious alien-killing weapon was out there.

Kara hated being locked in. And when Alex left her to investigate further, Kara found herself playing Monopoly with Mon-El on the floor of the cell.

“Hey, you don’t um, like me, do you?” Kara asked suddenly, mid-game.

“Of course, I like you,” Mon-El answered innocently.

“No, I mean, you don’t _like me, like me_.”

“Like you, like you? Sorry, English is my second language.” Mon-El smirked.

“My mum, Eliza, she thought you were being nice to her on Thanksgiving. That’s like this thing boys do on this planet because they have a crush on the daughters… sometimes.”

“Crush?”

“You don’t want to mate with me, do you?” the words rushed out of an embarrassed Kara’s mouth.

Mon-El burst out into laughter and Kara felt heat rising to her cheeks.

Kara chuckled at how the conversation turned awkward. Mon-El was a friend and she had put them both in this awkwardness because she needed to ensure that their friendship was preserved and that Mon-El did not harbour any feelings towards her. Feelings beyond what normal friends feel for each other. That would not be fair for the changed Daxamite. He deserved someone who could love him back and Kara knew, she could try but she could never really love another.

Mon-El dismissed her suspicions and Kara smiled in relief. Mon-El smiled in reply but not before choking on a fit of coughs. Kara acted quickly and Mon-El was admitted into the medic bay and treated. Eliza revealed that Mon-El was infected and that she had discovered a strand of Kryptonian virus in his blood, suggesting that Cadmus probably found a way to get into the Fortress of Solitude to gain access to such a weapon.

When Kara learned about the truth behind Project Medusa and how her own father was part of it, she was devastated. Kara felt terribly guilty that Mon-El was infected because of something her father created. Alex sensed her hurt and tried to console her, promising Kara that Eliza and she would find a way to combat it.

Alex hated to see Kara down like this; Kara was the epitome of cheerfulness and hope and _sunshine._ Seeing Kara projecting sadness was simply… _sad_. It must be hard to learn a dark truth about one’s own father. Alex empathised.

So, Alex got to work right away, immersing herself into finding a cure with Eliza. And halfway through their progress, Eliza decided it was crucial to know what was on Alex’s mind.

Eliza knew since Thanksgiving that Alex had something to tell her. She knew her daughter; keeping secrets simply disagreed with Alex Danvers.

“Does it have anything to do with Maggie? You mentioned her a lot.”

Alex’s gaze softened in fondness. Of course, Eliza noticed it. When Alex finally told her mother that she was gay, Eliza was amazingly supportive about it. Alex was overwhelmed by gratitude when Eliza gave her a hug, kissing the top of her head and cradling it as she said, “My beautiful Alexandra. Why would you being gay ever let me down.”

“You always wanted me to have a regular life.”

“Alex… look at the life our family has led; look at me, look at your sister.”

Both mother and daughter chuckled softly.

“I don’t think you ever believed that I wanted you to have a regular life,” Eliza stroke the back of her head gently. They broke the hug and Eliza cradled Alex’s cheeks in her warm palms. “You’re always going to be different, Alex, because you’re always exceptional. And I _love you_ , however you are,” Eliza told her, stern sincerity in her tone. “Come here,” she pulled her daughter into another tight embrace and Alex allowed herself to melt in her mother’s arms.

…

Kara looked out onto the spilling skyline, the twinkling city lights which reminded her greatly of home on Krypton. Angered by the newfound truth about her parents’ work and burdened by guilt and _shame_ , Kara confided in J’onn.

“Kara, your parents were trying to protect the planet; they tried to save lives.”

“I’m sure Lex and Lillian Luthor thought their intentions were good too…” Kara said, hurt lacing her voice. “Is this their legacy? Death and destruction across the universe?” her voice dropped to a timid whisper of outward musing.

“Your parents’ legacy is _not_ death and destruction, Kara Zor-El. It’s _you_.”

Kara smiled softly at J’onn’s kind words. His wisdom seemed to have lightened the burden of shame from her chest. Before Kara could thank J’onn for his insights, the Green Martian dropped to his knee, groaning in pain.

Kara was shocked to see J’onn’s face partially metamorphose into what she recognised as a White Martian. It was a brief episode of pain and metamorphosis. J’onn explained his condition but insisted that the D.E.O.’s priority was on Project Medusa and that his predicament would have to be put on hold despite Kara’s protest that Eliza and Alex could find a way to help him.

Eliza and Alex informed them about their discovery on the virus and Cadmus’s plan. At the mention of the isotope from L-Corp being used to launch the virus airborne, Kara hurried to warn Lena while Alex called Maggie for assistance.

Kara arrived only in time to save Lena from being attacked by Hank Henshaw. They fought, and Kara was overpowered by the part Cyborg. Maggie and her squad arrived in time and fired freely at Hank. Maggie was shot by Hank Henshaw in his attempt to flee. Kara had to give her props for being such a tough nut when Maggie insisted that Kara went forth to catch the villain instead of attending to the injured detective.

Kara went to L-Corp again to tell Lena about Lillian being the Head of Cadmus.

“I know what it’s like to be disillusioned by our parents; but I’m a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She’s cold and dangerous; and you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own _hero_.”

Kara’s words seemed to fall on deaf ears when Lena dismissed her. Frustrated, Kara went back to the D.E.O., hoping to seek advice from Alex but saw that she was busy treating an injured Maggie in the treatment bay.

 “Sorry, you okay?” Alex asked, focus fixed on stitching Maggie’s wound.

“I’m okay; just a little nervous that you might not be good at this.”

“Oh? Well, clearly the drugs have kicked in because you are… done.” Alex announced, grinning as she snipped the thread proficiently and Maggie said her thanks.

“No, thank _you._ ” Alex smiled shyly.

“For what?”

“I told my mum.”

“Oh? How did she take it?”

“Well, better than me,” Alex chuckled. Maggie smiled intently at her. “You know, when you suggested that I was gay… I denied it. Then, I thought that it was about you… I mean, how could I not like you. But deep down I think… I still wasn’t comfortable that that was my new normal,” Alex confessed. “But it is my new normal. And I’m happy that it is,” she said. “Because I… I finally… I get me. And now I realize that it’s not about you but it’s about me living my life. So, thank you.”

“Any time.” Maggie smiled up at Alex from her Fowler’s position causing Alex to blush.

Kara didn’t mean to eavesdrop, she really didn’t. She had went looking for Alex and found her with Maggie. She took a few steps closer and their conversation became audible. She witnessed their interaction, the soft blush on Alex’s cheeks was really a tell-tale. The perpetual smile on Maggie’s face, the way Alex tried to avert her gaze from Maggie’s bare shoulders. The way both of them lit during their conversation. Kara tried to leave, she really did. But she could still hear their conversation. She berated herself for holding on; she could really do without _listening_ to their conversation, to just let it go, let them be. She decided that she could not handle the thought of Alex and Maggie together anymore and went to look for Eliza instead. Anyone, really, to get her mind off Alex. Because despite what Alex said, Kara knew that Alex was in love with Maggie. Because Kara was in love with Alex and Alex just _couldn’t_ tell.

She thought she would have gotten used to the hurt that trailed in every time Alex talked about a schoolgirl crush, an almost boyfriend, the close call that night when she almost lost her V-card, the time she made out with a guy when she was drunk because she _felt like it_ , the first time Alex _actually_ had sex with a man. Yes, Alex had some weird rebel teen phase, and Kara had been there all the way. Kara had been hurt time and again, she thought she would at least be _used_ to it now. But Kara knew what hurt felt like, and _this,_ felt an awful lot like it.

Kara bit back her tears, swallowing her feeling as the lump in her throat, the tug in her stomach, the uneasiness at the back of her head.

Kara found herself next to Mon-El, watching his vitals on the monitor. It had been stable for quite some time now. Eliza told her that he would regain consciousness soon albeit still infected.

“Did you learn a power where you can duplicate yourself? Because I am seeing two of you, it’s really cool.”

Kara smiled seeing him stir awake. “No, no new powers. I think the double vision… it’s all you.”

“Oh, so I have a new power?” Mon-El joked.

“Yeah.”

“Your Earth Mother Eliza, she thinks I’m dying. I might not have your hearing, but mine’s pretty good.”

Kara inhaled sharply. “She’s going to find a cure.” Kara’s gaze was hard with resolution.

“It’s okay… I’ve um… cheated death a couple of times—

“No. It’s not okay. You shouldn’t be dying. The only reason you’re dying is because of _my_ family!” Kara said unhappily.

“Eliza did her best.” He shrugged weakly.

“No. Not her…”

Mon-El gave her a look of confusion.

“My birth father created Medusa. He is the reason you’re in so much pain… And he is the reason I can’t do anything about it,” Kara admitted and realised that she was not holding back her tears anymore. She sobbed, rubbing her eyes in frustration.

“Hey…” Mon-El whispered, touching one side of Kara’s cheek. “You know, you look beautiful; the weight of all these worlds on your shoulder.”

Kara hid her smile at Mon-El’s attempt at consoling her. “You don’t have to make me feel better…”

Mon-El stroke her cheek and brought their lips together in a tender kiss. It was soft and comforting and Kara let Mon-El hold the kiss, breathing deeply at how easy it was to love him if only she could.

“Yeah. Absolutely beautiful…” Mon-El muttered and leant back into the soft pillows behind him, leaving Kara absolutely conflicted. The Kryptonian touched her own lips, still feeling Mon-El’s on hers seconds ago.

Certainly, Mon-El was not the first person she’d kiss. In fact, Kara had quite a number of man-friends in her past, accounting for several kisses over the years. But Mon-El was her first non-human kiss. And Mon-El was almost like _family_. And Kara’s heart lurched a little. Mon-El liked her, just like Alex had implied, just like Eliza had said.

But Kara did not like him _like that_.

…

Lena Luthor was shrewd and cunning and utterly manipulative. In all the best ways possible because Lena played Lillian Luthor. She played Lillian Luthor and led Cadmus to its downfall.

Alex watched in bated breath as Kara was knocked back by the missile’s explosion. Kara watched in bated breath as none of the aliens were affected. Lena watched in bated breath as her plan in foil her mother’s mission succeeded.

Lillian Luthor sighed, partly proud, partly upset that Lena had turned on her.

Eliza Danvers watched in bated breath as she watched her cure work on the unconscious Mon-El, now regaining consciousness.

“Am I dead?” tumbled out of the Daxamite’s mouth. Mon-El woke to the sight of Eliza, the Danvers sisters and Winn around him.

“No. We were able to reverse engineer a cure from a living sample of the virus,” Eliza explained kindly.

“And when my mother says ‘we’, she really means ‘I’. But Winn and I watched enthusiastically,” Alex piped in.

“While this is good news, it gets even better. The Medusa virus was so easily weaponised, I was able to turn it against a common enemy; J’onn’s White Martian blood cells.”

They were greeted by a very rejuvenated J’onn in his Green Martian form. “J’onn! You look great!” Kara exclaimed.

J’onn grinned. “I feel great!” he wrapped an arm around Eliza and thanked her.

Kara let her mother and sister conversed with J’onn and Winn while she sat Mon-El up, half a nervous wreck as she decided whether or not to bring up the subject of the kiss. She did not know how to do this.

“So glad you’re okay,” she said.

“Yeah me too. I wouldn’t know what you would’ve done without me,” Mon-El flashed her a boyish grin. Kara chuckled, rolling her eyes playfully.

“So, uh… are we going to… _talk_ about what happened?”

Mon-El knew what Kara was hinting at but he was also a man of hubris and ego. And maybe, just maybe, he was not in the mood to get his pride bruised after waking up from a virus-induced coma. Mon-El smiled at the Kryptonian. “Yes. Yes, I want to hear how you chase that missile down!”

 “I mean, the other thing, that happened between us… when you were dying…”

“What do you mean? What happened? What did I do?”

Kara felt oddly relieved at Mon-El’s oblivion. Maybe it was a topic they would broach some other day… or never. “You drooled.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you drooled _all over_ yourself!”

“Oh, that’s bad!”

They shared a short-lived laugh before Mon-El said, “Well, that was it right?”

“Yeah. Yeah…” Kara hated lying. “You should get some rest.” She left quicker than she needed to. After all that had happened, Kara needed to lie down and get some rest. She needed to _not_ think about things. She needed to _not_ worry about everyone else. Kara, with renewed determination, needed potstickers, _stat_! Then she needed sleep.

…

Alex was not expecting company that night. After Kara turned her offer down for movie night (Alex understandingly told her to get some rest), Alex settled comfortably for red wine in PJ’s. And then Maggie texted her that she was downstairs with pizza and Alex couldn’t say no to _that_. That being… Maggie and/or pizza.

“Hey,” Maggie grinned at the taller woman. “Hungry?” she tipped the box of pizza slightly. Alex took in the sight of the gorgeous woman, leather jacket and dark pants, hair stylishly tossed to one side. 

“Yes!” Alex grinned back, opening the door to invite Maggie into her apartment. “Come in please; and, um, ignore the pyjamas,” she ducked her head shyly.

“Oh no, they’re cute!” Maggie’s compliment sent Alex blushing.

Maggie was leaning against the island when Alex said, “It’s late. Do you have a… case or something? Oh god, I could really use a good old-fashioned murder, right now.”

Maggie chuckled and shook her head. “No um… I didn’t come here for work. I just really need to come here to _see_ you and _talk_ to you.” Maggie was fidgeting with her hands now, Alex noticed, and it made Alex panic a little too.

“Is everything okay?”

“Well… um, here’s the thing. I almost died—

“Yeah, well no, I would not have let that happen,” Alex assured.

“I know that. But I… um, it got me thinking that…” Maggie spun around so that her back was facing Alex. She could not do this with Alex’s meaningful eyes on her. “I was so stupid. I… I thought that I… and… I…” Maggie was positively fumbling. Turning her back obviously did not work. Maggie turned around again. “I guess it was kind of right that you came out for me,” she tried again, and it made Alex stop what she was doing (unsealing a new bottle of whiskey) to face Maggie fully with a thoughtful look. “And it scared me… um… but um…” Maggie was taking a few steps back and walking in small circles now as she fumbled for her words. “But life is too short. And um… we should be… who we are…” Maggie stopped pacing and took a few steps towards Alex. Alex held her breath, enraptured by Maggie’s gaze, darkened pupils and blushing cheeks. “And we should kiss the girls we want to kiss…” Maggie kept her eyes on Alex’s as she closed the distance between them. “And I really want to kiss you,” she leaned up and paused when their lips are a breath apart. “Is that okay?” Maggie breathed out, her gaze dropped to Alex’s lips. Alex nodded, and Maggie held Alex’s cheeks, smiling before connecting their lips in a kiss.

Alex loved how courteous Maggie had been with the kiss, how utterly gentle she had been at first and how passionately fervent it quickly escalated to become. Alex was giddy with the taste of Maggie, the sweetness of her lips, the flavour of her saliva. Maggie was sure she was going to remember and _savour_ the feel of Alex’s lips on hers, the scent of Alex’s lotion and lip balm, the taste of red wine and something akin to spearmint.

Alex smiled when they parted. “So, you’re saying you like me?” her voice cracked a little from the tension of the kiss just now. “That’s what I got.”

Maggie giggled. “Of course, you’re not going to go crazy on me, are you?” she teased.

Alex bit her lip, tasting Maggie on her lips. She could get used to that. “Probably.”

“Yeah.” Maggie grinned. Alex tucked several loose strands of dark brown hair behind Maggie’s ears, held the brunette’s face in her hands and kissed her hard, pizza long forgotten. Because who needed pizza when you’ve got Maggie? Alex smiled into their kiss when Maggie wrapped her arms around her waist, bringing them closer to each other. Alex knew when Maggie initiated their next kiss, that she had it _hard_ for this woman.

And Alex could not wait to share her happiness with Kara.

…

Kara grinned when she saw Alex at the D.E.O. after a night out with some jewel thieves. She really wanted to share the good news of her victory with Alex and of course, a little bit of ranting about Guardian was harmless.

“He _did_ help; that’s something,” Alex tried to defend James, well, Guardian. Kara needed to lay off the dislike should James decide to tell her one day.

“ _Barely_. I was the one who had to dodge the surface air missiles. All he did was _slap_ cuffs on wrists!” Kara huffed indignantly. Alex chuckled, amused by Kara’s antics.

“Okay, what’s bothering you? And it’s _not_ Guardian.” Alex was obviously busy with her scientist business but still spared her attention and time for Kara. Kara was touched but was hoping Alex could stop pacing around with the test tube racks and syringe in her hands. They could go to the Alien Bar and get a couple of drinks. It had been a long day for her.

Kara pouted with a small scowl and muttered, “Who said anything is bothering me?”

“Crinkle,” Alex pointed out, poking Kara’s lightly at the adorable crinkle she had between her brows whenever she was ‘bothered’.

“Crinkle, ugh! I’m going to get Botox for that! If you can figure out a way to get needle under my skin!” Kara groaned.

“Kara,” Alex said, half-scolding Kara at her diverted attention to the topic at hand.

“I don’t know. I just… I’m in a funk.”

Alex eyed her curiously.

“It’s just… the jewel theft, the bank robbery last week, … it’s _easy_!”

“So?”

“So… lately, I feel like I’m protecting jewels and money more than I’m protecting people!”

“You were a hero tonight!” Alex tried to cheer Kara up. “Go home, celebrate!”

Kara bit her lip as she considered her next request. “You want to come over? We could catch up on the night off?” she smiled at Alex hopefully.

Alex spun around with that regretful look in her eyes. Kara knew rejection was underway, so she braced herself, summoning all the fake smiles and ‘don’t worry about it’s and ‘rain check’s.

“I can’t. I have plans…” Alex said apologetically. At Kara’s fake smile, because Alex was not that bad of an older sister, she quickly added, “Unless you need me to cancel though.”

Tempting, really, tempting. Kara would love to have Alex all to herself that night, cuddled up to her older sister, wrapped up in her arms, sharing the same blanket and falling asleep together. Tempting. But Kara knew how excited Alex was for tonight.

“No, no, I need you to go be with your girlfriend,” Kara said, sending Alex a toothy smile. This time, it was convincing enough because Alex giggled happily. “I can’t believe it, I have a girlfriend!” Alex said, a wide grin plastered across her face. It made Kara’s heart soar to see Alex this happy; soar to a height where it would inevitably break from all the pressure from within with increasing altitude and what not. Because while Kara Zor-El was alien and Earth’s gravity and altitude had nothing on her, Kara Danvers was human, and Kara Danvers had a soft heart when it came to Alex.

“Go,” Kara said, playfully swatting Alex away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Alex winked at her and skipped out of the office gleefully.

Kara inhaled deeply, watching Alex go. Alex had been a hundred-fold happier ever since getting together with Maggie Sawyers. Kara remembered how her older sister had called her at an ungodly hour of 5 am that fateful morning to tell her about the kiss the night before. Kara’s heart significantly lurched but hearing the excitement in Alex’s voice consoled her a little. Minorly. Kara congratulated Alex, saying how proud and how happy she was for her. That afternoon, Kara made time for Alex for a planned lunch date, saying that she wanted to “hear all about it”. Alex happily agreed and gladly recounted the events of the night before. It was just like old days. Kara listened to Alex gush about her crush, her boyfriend, literally anyone but Kara, and Kara listened so willingly to Alex as the older sister unknowingly break her heart.

If Kara was thinking about it, she might think she was a latent masochist after all.

Alone in Alex’s office, Kara sighed as she ran her fingers along the frame of the photograph of the both of them, smiling cheekily at the camera. Kara’s eidetic memory fed her recollections of the day the picture was taken. It was the first time she brought Alex flying. She could still recall the pleasant smile that lit the older sister’s face. It was contagious, and it made the teenaged Kara swoon ever so much. Alex, ever the adventurous one, braced herself for take off as Kara wrapped her arms around her slender body. “Ready?” Kara asked, slightly breathless from the proximity and contact.

“Yeah!” Alex replied, slightly breathless from the adrenaline pumping through her body.

Kara could still remember the whoop Alex let out when they were up in the sky, how Alex had exclaimed while they were zipping above buildings. Kara made sure to go slowly, to let Alex experience the thrill _and_ bliss of flying without causing nausea or dizziness. Alex cheered freely, encouraging Kara to join her. They ended up laughing because they knew no one could hear them. Kara had dropped Alex off atop the tallest building in National City where they watched sunset together. Alex had planted a kiss on Kara’s cheek, close to the jaw, mighty close to the corner of her lips. She had whispered, “Thank you for today, Kara,” in Kara’s ear and made Kara tremble with excitement when Alex proceeded to wrap her arms around her in a tight hug. It sent a shiver down Kara’s spine, made goose bumps erupt across her skin, coloured her cheeks in a dark rose hue. It made Kara fall just a little deeper in love with Alex Danvers.

“Always,” Kara had replied in a hushed whisper, next to Alex’s ear. Alex smiled and squeezed Kara tighter. They didn’t leave the rooftop until it was much darker. Creeping back into their bedroom was difficult, lying to their parents the next day was worse. But Alex and Kara had each other’s backs, trading knowing glances, sharing secret smiles, and there was nothing in the whole ordeal which Kara regretted.

…

Alex woke up the next morning to the smell of freshly-brewed coffee and a sight for sore eyes. She could really get used to seeing Maggie in her shirt, in her apartment for _days_ to come. The brunette looked magnificent, glowing in the morning sun, dimpled smile and shining eyes.

Alex had never felt so happy before. When Maggie beckoned her in for a kiss and then another, Alex wondered if this was what love felt like. When Maggie shot her a playful grin when Alex suggested they call in sick and allowed Alex to drag her back to bed, Alex was almost assured that this was what love felt like. At the sounds of Maggie’s whimpers and quiet moans when Alex kissed down her jaw and neck to her torso, Alex could publish an article, confirming that this was what love felt like.

…

Mon-El took a job at the Alien Bar. Kara was happy that he found his calling and a sense of belonging. When Snapper was blasé about the ‘missing persons report’, Kara felt the urge to help and investigate stronger than ever. And lucky for Kara, she had friends and connections from _many_ places including the NCPD. She spotted Maggie in one of the booths and joined her.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Kara said with a smile as she slid into the booth.

Maggie grinned at her. “Always happy to help a Danvers,” she said. Kara couldn’t help but silently accuse her of the double entendre. “Here is the missing persons report on Izzy Williams that we have.” Maggie slid a USB Drive towards Kara. “Unfortunately, it’s not much.”

“Well, every little bit helps,” Kara said. Her gratitude was sincere and conveyed with a bright smile.

“You know, it’s funny that you asked.”

“Why?”

“Well, we just had a spike in missing persons over the last few weeks.”

“Do you have any theories? Serial killers? Kidnappers?”

“Serial killers have patterns; kidnappers have motives,” Maggie told her. “But what’s odd is that there’s nothing to connect these victims.”

Kara nodded, deep in thought. Maggie continued to inform her of the mysterious trend of the missing persons disappearance. Kara realised that this was most likely the first proper conversation she had had with Maggie. One-to-one, allowing Kara to admire the brilliant detective that Maggie was. It made Kara wonder if Alex was smitten by the confidence and knowledge Maggie carried with her, her kindness and willingness to help.

Kara insisted that Maggie’s drinks were on her at the end of their meeting. Maggie graciously declined the treat, offering to pay instead and that Kara could get the next one. Maggie was charismatic, Kara gave her that. She slapped a bill on the counter and told Mon-El to keep the change, giving him a cool wink before leaving the bar.

“She’s great; I like her.”

Kara merely hummed in response.

…

When Kara dropped by the D.E.O. later that afternoon, she was surprised to see Alex Danvers _late for work_. Not only was she late, she was grinning in adorable glee. Something was _off_. “Hey!” Alex greeted her with a bright smile.

Kara regarded Alex curiously. “Hi,” she replied, crossing her arms, a teasing smile played on her lips.

“What?”

“Look at you.”

“What?”

“Are you kidding? You look like you’ve been… shot with a love ray or something,” Kara said, sliding next to Alex, leaning against the D.E.O. desk.

Her comment made Alex blush and chuckle, failing to even deny that statement. Kara laughed at Alex’s response.

“Well…. Hmm… Maggie slept over last night,” Alex told her in a hushed tone.

Kara gasped. “Wow! That’s… really?” She was happy, _really_ happy for Alex. She had never seen Alex glowed like this. She ignored the little stab in her heart, pushed aside the pain and became _excited_ with Alex. Kara should rethink her masochism.

“Do you think everybody can tell?” Alex asked, grinning widely. Winn turned around in his chair, interrupting the sisters’ moment with a loud, “Okay!”

“Whoa, what happened to you?”

“I got mugged. And I’m fine.” Winn smiled then winced. “And it hurts to smile. Uh, okay, so there’s a connection between the people on your list. They all have blood work done a few days before they disappeared.”

“Blood work? That’s weird,” Kara commented.

“It’s missing persons. Do you want me to come with you?” Alex offered, a tad too happily. She was even jumpy for crying out loud. Kara thought it was adorable despite it all. She thought _Alex_ was adorable. If Maggie could make her this happy, then maybe Maggie was good for her. “Since I obviously can’t make Alex glow like this,” Kara thought bitterly.

“No, no. You just keep on glowing,” Kara told her, mustering a toothy grin at Alex.

“Okay,” Alex breathed.

Kara left the D.E.O. and returned to CatCo. She was so distracted that she missed Mon-El walking past her. But Mon-El called out to her, offering his assistance to find the missing persons.

Kara had to hide her cringe multiple times as Mon-El carelessly spill words like “Paris city” and “madly monotheistic”.

When things went awry, Kara told Mon-El to get back to the D.E.O. to tell Alex what happened and send a strike team as soon as possible. Kara, impulsive to save Izzy, jumped into the portal, into a planet powered by a Red Sun, Arcturus.

Back at the D.E.O., Alex grew increasingly worried by the minute. When J’onn told her that Kara would be powerless, Alex blamed herself for not going with Kara to back her up.

When Maggie dropped by to check in on Alex, her defence mechanism sprung up and Alex knew someone was bound to get hurt by it. Her defence mechanism included being self-destructive, self-deprecating and an utter pain in the neck. And Maggie was collateral damage. “I was happy for five minutes. I’m sorry. You… you have to go. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Maggie was confused. But Maggie also learned a lot about Alex over the time they spent together, as friends or otherwise. And Maggie knew that this was Alex in shambles. Maggie also knew that this Alex would not let her in so the best thing to do now, at least, was to stay out of it. “Got it. See you around, Danvers.” Maggie frowned as she walked away, wondering why it still _hurt_ although she told herself that she _knew_ Alex’s reasons.

The D.E.O. moved quickly, and preparations were ready within two hours. Alex was determined to save Kara. When J’onn said to her, “Bring our girl home!”, Alex nodded resolutely. And Alex pulled Winn along, in good spirit, with good intentions; Winn’s confidence had been shattered earlier but Alex knew Winn’s bravery ran deeper than what he let on.

“Kara needs you! I need you!” she said finally, that seemingly persuaded Winn to join the mission.

…

Alex led the team to Kara and the hostages.

Overwhelmed by relief, Alex dashed towards Kara and hugged her closely. “You found us!” Kara said with a breathless smile.

“We better hurry up. Winn’s waiting for us.”

“You brought Winn to space?” Kara asked, grinning widely.

Alex winked and urged the group to hurry along. Winn was indeed ready to activate the portal when they came running towards it. When Kara had to save Izzy, who was held back by her captive, Alex made sure she was energised.

“What is that?” Mon-El asked, bewildered.

“Yellow Sun Grenade. Taste of home,” Alex grinned proudly, watching her younger sister in action.

When they made it back to the D.E.O. safely, Kara pulled Alex into another hug, thanking her for the “recharge”.

“It’s all J’onn’s idea,” Alex smiled at Kara when they pulled apart.

“I couldn’t make the trip myself, so I thought I’d send a little Sun along,” J’onn said, grinning at Kara, glad that she made it back safely.

Kara hugged the Green Martian tightly, thanking him.

“It’s good to have you back.”

…

Alex knew what she did to Maggie was wrong on so many levels. She waited anxiously for Maggie’s reply when she texted her that evening. When Maggie showed up at her door later that night, Alex was relieved that Maggie did not hold a petty grudge.

She held the door open for Maggie. “Thank you for coming,” Alex said, puppy dog eyes on display. Maggie had to remind herself that she was supposed to be remotely angry at Alex to not kiss the taller woman right then and there. To not forgive Alex too easily because Maggie was a woman who knew how to guard her own heart, to protect herself from hurt. And lately, Alex Danvers seemed to hold a very lethal weapon to her feelings and emotions. Maggie didn’t know if she liked it that Alex had the ability make her _so_ happy and _so_ sad. Maggie wasn’t sure if Alex could be trusted with her feelings, that Alex would take care of her and _love_ her.

When Maggie suggested that Alex was “not ready for this”, Alex hastily tried to assure Maggie that she was. “Hey, I just… I just kind of went crazy,” Alex tried to explain, flailing her arms. Maggie eyed her curiously. “I feel like… the universe is magically smacking me down for being happy.”

Maggie crossed her arms. “That’s it? You’ve got to give me more than that.”

Alex sighed, leaning forward over the sofa and begged for Maggie’s understanding as she tried to explain herself. “I’ve always felt so responsible. Like… weight of the world responsible. And my parents had always relied on me to watch over my sister, so the _few_ times that I ever did _anything_ for myself, it ended… badly. And then Supergirl went missing, and I just… I blew a gasket and—

“Because Supergirl is your sister.” It was a statement if anything. Maggie had that knowing glint in her eyes, the soft smile on her lips and her tone bore understanding and willingness to give Alex another chance. Because Alex was coming from a good place, and Maggie could understand that, she could respect that, heck, Maggie loved that about Alex.

Maggie had chuckled in amusement when Alex tried to pretend to be ignorant.

“Come on,” Maggie chided with a grin. “Look, I know you. The only person you get _that_ torn up over is Kara.”

Alex bit her lip and ducked her head shyly. So, now Maggie knew…

Maggie chuckled, feeling a little bad for making Alex guilty for letting slip Kara’s secret identity. “Plus, the glasses don’t help,” she shrugged, shooting Alex a charming smile.

Alex chuckled under her breath. “I know, I… I always tell her that; it’s kind of ridiculous.”

After a moment of soft silence, Alex chanced a glance at Maggie. “I’m glad that you know. Because I don’t want there to be any secrets.”

“Bad stuff happens. And in our line of work, it happens all the time. How do I know that you’re not going to run the next time it does?” Maggie asked, eyeing Alex seriously.

“I won’t.” Alex promised. She let an unchecked tear slip and Maggie visibly softened at the sight of the woman shedding sincere tears, desperate for her forgiveness. “I’m sorry. I just… I want to be happy. With you.”

Maggie weighed her options. Alex Danvers was one of a kind. And Maggie, despite her need to protect her heart from getting hurt, wanted to give Alex a chance. “You get _on_ e _,_ Alex.”

Alex’s tearful smile broke into a relieved grin. “Understood.” Maggie nodded, smiling back and pulled Alex into a hug. “Thank you,” Alex said, hugging Maggie tighter, as if scared of losing her if she didn’t hold her close enough.

Alex sighed into the embrace, her dread quickly dissipating when Maggie stroke her back. “You’re alright, Alex,” Maggie whispered as if sensing Alex’s fear. When they broke the hug, Maggie made sure to kiss her deeply because Maggie needed Alex to know that they were alright. Maggie wanted them to be alright. Maggie hoped Alex knew that too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Livewire is on the loose.  
> Mon-El has feelings for Kara.  
> Kara hopes she can have feelings for Mon-El, and hopes that Alex gets that she doesn't like him.  
> Oh, Kara hopes Alex can get a lot of things despite her near-genius intellect.  
> But Alex is in love with Maggie and love blinds us all.  
> Kara gets ditched on 13th Earth Birthday.
> 
> 2x10 (and a little bit of 2x11)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Alex had been spending an awful lot of time with Maggie lately. Kara did not want to be the petulant bitter younger sister who whined and grumbled when Alex called to apologise to have to cancel on their movie night for the _second_ time this week. Kara really did not want to be _that_ person. Alex was having fun, she told herself. Having fun with Maggie but having fun nevertheless. Kara pouted at her cell phone, crossing her arms and eyeing the device with _contempt_. She needed to get a life, do something. Punch something. Maybe heat vision something. The cell phone in front of her seemed like a good target but she had text messages in there from Alex and Eliza that she wanted to keep. And photos in the gallery she did not want incinerated. So, when Mon-El asked if she wanted to train at the D.E.O., Kara readily agreed.

Hanging out with Mon-El was great; it helped Kara focus on improving her combat skills, her precision, her speed and gave Kara a mission to help Mon-El with his skills. All in all, it helped Kara _not_ think about Alex.

Mon-El deflected the last laser beam toward a civilian cardboard cut-out. Kara sighed. Mon-El was _this_ close to graduating “Superhero Kindergarten” as Winn nicely put it. Sadly, he needed to wait and not blow up civilians’ heads in order for him to earn his suit. 

It was not that Kara was complaining about the training sessions with Mon-El. She liked it; liked helping the Daxamite work on his powers, liked feeling useful, liked that she could feel slightly more prepared to dive into her next mission. But she wanted to _dive_. She wanted to fight real villains, not floating laser-shooting robots. She wanted some real action.

When Livewire escaped prison, Kara was, conflictedly glad, because that meant she could kick some real ass _while_ working with Alex. But that also meant that she was up against Livewire. The last encounter with her nemesis was traumatising enough. But the Supergirl part of Kara knew that she had to be up for it. Maybe with Mon-El as a new addition to the team, they might stand a better chance. Alex called Kara down to the cell which held Livewire and Kara dutifully reported to work as… a reporter.

“Hey! Freedom of the press, buddy!” she tried to get past the guards.

She could already hear Maggie and Alex in the cell. “How long do you think they can hold her off for?” Maggie asked, grinning at the sound of Kara trying to argue her way in.

“I’ll give it about 5 seconds,” Alex said coolly.

“10, at least, she’s way too polite!” Maggie said with a chuckle.

“Oh, you wanna bet?” Alex’s eyes flashed in friendly challenge. She knew Kara, she could win this.

“If I’m right, you gotta try _vegan_ ice-cream.”

“That’s disgusting.” Alex made a face and Maggie laughed. “If I win, my place tonight.”

Maggie smirked. It was a good deal either way.

Alex counted with her fingers and mouthed, “Three… two… one…”

Kara stumbled into the cell, muttering a queue of “sorry’s” and greeting them with a sunny smile, hair up and dark blue coat over a simple sundress. “Kara Danvers, Catco Magazine.” Gosh, Kara was dorky. Alex grinned.

“Chez Danvers, it is.” Maggie conceded. Alex smirked victoriously.

“I tried to stop her, man, but she’s so strong!” one of the guards said, rubbing his bruised shoulder.

“It’s okay; she’s with us.” Maggie was cool when she was authoritative. Alex smiled beside her.

Kara smiled brightly at Alex, having missed her so much. She felt guilty that she could only half-listen to Maggie fill her in on the case.

“Look, until we know what happened, let’s just stick to the facts. This was very well staged and very well thought out.”

“And we know Livewire is not one for _thoughts_ ,” Alex smiled knowingly at Kara.

Kara snorted. “Yeah, she’s mostly ‘kill this, electrocute that’.” Kara felt irrationally pissed at the mention of Livewire. Or maybe because Alex was paying attention to Maggie more than she was to her. “She’s probably already killed that inmate and guard!” she said bitingly.

Alex looked at her sternly. “Hey, Kara, I know Livewire is a sore spot for you but _just_ …” the older sister chided. “Get a grip.”

Kara scowled, displeased that she was reprimanded. “Get a…” Kara scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We have to find her before she hurts someone!” With that, the blonde-haired woman stalked off.

…

Alex had a feeling that Kara was avoiding her all day. She knew that Kara was at the D.E.O., and being confined within the same facility, Alex thought they’d run into each other. Alex thought maybe Kara was busy preparing for the mission. Alex felt bad that she upset Kara with her comment at the prison just now. And her work with M’gann was tying her down, she could not afford the luxury to look for Kara and talk to her properly.

When Winn informed her that Livewire was attacking the cops downtown, Alex knew that Kara would be there and by the look Winn was giving her, so would James.

Alex sensed trouble underway. She sighed.

Guardian was injured in the fight, trying to shield a deflected current aimed at a cop (no thank you, Mon-El). While knocked out, Kara had found him and discovered his identity. Betrayed and hurt, Kara brought James back to the D.E.O., handed her unconscious friend to Alex and walked away.

Kara trusted Alex whole-heartedly to treat James’s injury and she knew that Alex would do just well. She just did not trust her own anger when met with a conscious James; she did not know what she would react to a James, predictably apologetic and trying to explain himself. So Kara went away and waited for her anger to subside. When she went back to the treatment bay, James was patched up, Mon-El and Winn talking to him while Alex cleaned up the workspace.

When Kara found out that Alex and Winn knew about James being Guardian and did _not_ tell her, Kara was met with newfound hurt. The look she shot Alex was not lost on the older sister. She looked at Kara in apology, opened her mouth to apologise but Kara crossed her arms angrily.

“Kara, this is between us. Not them,” James said rationally.

Alex left the room, urging the rest to follow her, but not without giving Kara a soft apologetic nod.

“I am calm. I am going to listen to you; I owe you that much. But you need to tell me _why_.”

“That thing that you feel? That thing that makes you want to make everything better… I feel that too. I always have. And I tried so many different ways in my life to help people; whether it’s career, or friendship… but it’s not enough. This is.” James stood from the bed.

Kara pulled a deep breath.

“Look, I was never meant to be Superman’s shadow… or yours. I am more me as Guardian than I’ve ever felt as James Olsen. Kara. We are the same.”

“No.” Kara said hardly. “No, we are not the same. You are _human_.” This felt a lot like all the time Kara had to berate Alex for engaging in a dangerous mission, jumping into the line of fire, combating 5 armed men alone. This felt a lot like scolding Alex out of love and concern, telling her to remember that she was _human_ and that Kara could not bear losing her.

James was a dear friend to Kara; they even tried a romantic relationship once upon a time. Kara did not want to lose James.

But James would not take any of that weak shit. When Kara brought Mon-El into the picture, James got angry. When Kara called him out, saying that he was “never going to be strong enough for this”, James knew that Kara was adamant. Kara needed James to see where, she was coming from. She needed James to know that Kara cared about him.

“You do not get to decide who is a hero.”

Kara clenched her fists. “If you do not stop, I will stop you.”

“You’re welcome to try.”

…

Kara looked for Mon-El that night. Kara was unkind with her words when she reprimanded Mon-El for being reckless, for being unqualified as a Superhero.

Kara was burdened by the knowledge of Mon-El helping out with being a superhero because he harboured feelings for her. Kara had enough on her plate as it was, she did not need to handle Mon-El’s feelings towards her and she certainly did not want to handle rejecting the Daxamite.

“You kissed me, when you were sick!” There, it was out. Kara told Mon-El the truth about what had transpired the other night. If this was going to work, they had to be honest with each other, unrequited feelings or otherwise.

“Yeah, well, says _you!_ ”

Kara rolled her eyes in frustration. “Are you working with me because you like me?” she demanded.

“I don’t know how to answer that. I want to work with you, Kara! That’s it!” Mon-El said in rapid frustration. “I’m sorry if that disappoints you!”

Kara let icy words flow out of her mouth, watch as Mon-El took them to heart and shut him out when he insisted to offer his aid. “You’ve done enough superhero-ing for today!”

Back at the D.E.O., Winn showed Kara a footage from the prison CCTV, one of Livewire and her captors. “She’s a victim. I was wrong.”

J’onn requested Alex and Kara to be by his side as he attempted to create the Bond with M’gann; he needed them as his anchor as he relives memories of deaths and wars. Kara felt a little better when M’gann was saved but news of James and Mon-El being captured put her back into her previous state. Kara would yell at Winn later. For now, she had friends to rescue.

Kara surprised everyone when she let Livewire go. Lost the bet, Alex had to try the vegan ice-cream at Maggie’s that night. Kara tried to pretend that she did not hear that; Alex would probably bail on another movie night and Maggie would get to lick disgusting food off the spoon with Alex. It was unfair. Kara was unsatisfied. So, Kara walked away to Winn and James.

“So, what now?”

“You tell me,” James replied, crossing his arms.

“We could go back to being Superfriends; a team again,” Kara said, mustering a cheery façade.

“And then we’ll just go back to backing you up, and never getting to do it ourselves.”

“You’ll _live_ ,” Kara tried but Winn had his eyes on the ground and James strictly shook his head.

“But not the lives we want,” the taller man said, his tone low. “I don’t want to be the guy in the office anymore.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to be stuck behind computers all the time,” Winn said, his eyes shining brightly.

“We’re going to do this.” James was resolute. “And we are going to do this alone if we have to but we would love to work with you.”

“Always,” Winn promised.

Kara sighed. “You know, you two were heroes to me, _way_ before all of this.” She shook her head, hating that she had to play the bad guy in this situation. All Kara wanted was to keep her friends safe. “I know you want to help people but this is _not_ the way to do it. I won’t stop you but as long as you are putting yourselves in danger, I _can’t_ support it.”

James looked dejected. “I guess that’s it then?”

“I guess so,” Kara said.

Winn shook his head as James left, and the computer genius followed in his trail after giving Kara a look that Kara read as disappointment.

The blonde-haired woman sighed quietly.

The day could be less shittier in her opinion. Alex indeed called to cancel that night, which was why Kara found herself alone in her apartment, ready to get an early night. But Mon-El decided to drop by and remind them of the kiss they shared. He told Kara that her eyes were like “comets” and that he had “never seen anyone so stunning before”. To Kara, that sounded an awful lot like a love confession under way. She dreaded it. And when Mon-El told her that he cared about her, whispered “comets” when Kara regarded him with shimmering blue eyes, Kara had to be clear with him. “Mon-El,” Kara shook her head. “I…”

“Look, I’m not here to change your mind. I get that you don’t care about me—

“I do care about you—

“But not in the same way. It’s good, it’s fine. I… um… it’s okay. You know, just… just keep working with me. I’ve been honest about it, right? So we can put this behind us, just let it go?”

Kara nodded, saddened by how hurt Mon-El had sounded.

“Just… keep being my partner.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Mon-El gave her a smile, a forced one but a smile nonetheless.

“Thank you for being honest,” Kara said.

“Yeah. Well… good talk.” Mon-El lifted his hand for an awkward high-five which Kara gave him willingly; it was the least she could do. “Great, um… I’ll see you tomorrow,” Mon-El said, leaving the table for the door. “Partner.”

The parting nod Mon-El gave her was small and dejected. Kara felt sorry for him. Mon-El left the apartment and Kara buried her face in her palms, groaning into it. She decided she could try reach Alex, send her a text; maybe her sister was free and could _come over_. Or pick up her call, or _something_! She needed to hear Alex’s voice, needed her reassurance that she did everything right. That Winn and James would understand one day and that Mon-El would get over it. That she loved her. That _everything_ was fine.

But Kara’s text of ‘Are you free to talk?’ went unanswered. Kara waited patiently for one whole hour, staring at her cell phone while curled up under her warm sheets. She sent another message to Alex.

‘I really need you now’

‘Please?’

It was almost midnight when Kara decided that it was fruitless to wait for Alex’s reply. Sleep came uneasily but Kara was glad to succumb to unconsciousness; it granted her release from reality, it allowed her to delve into a fantasy of Alex beside her, fingers interlaced as they lounged by the pool, of J’onn, Winn and James happily playing in the water, calling out at Kara, of Eliza bringing out a jar of lemonade and planting a kiss on Kara’s forehead.

That was fantasy; it was too perfect. There were no pools where they could hang out at, Eliza did not like lemonade (she was a peach tea kind of woman), and Alex’s fingers would probably be interlaced with Maggie’s in reality, not Kara’s.

But Kara loved this fantasy.

…

Kara received a reply from Alex the next morning.

‘Sorry I didn’t reply you. Are you okay?’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

When Kara did not reply, instead, buried her face in her pillow and kept herself in bed for a depressing Sunday morning, Alex dropped by unannounced but definitely not unwelcomed. She brought a box of potstickers in one hand and a bottle of scotch in another. Kara had given Alex a set of keys and free rein in her apartment (like how she gave Alex free rein over her life) and was only half-surprised when her sister entered her home, apologetic smile in place. The delicious smell of Chinese food evoking an episode of grumbles in Kara’s starved stomach.

“Hey, you okay?” Alex sounded concerned when she asked. The older woman took a seat at the edge of Kara’s bed, looking at the blonde with her beautiful brown eyes. “Did you receive my text? I’m sorry I was occupied last night I couldn’t reply you. I was worried this morning. What happened? Did you get hurt? I’m so sorry I didn’t come over when you needed me to last night.” The apology was rushed out, because Alex was nervous and worried.

 _I will always need you, Alex._ Kara pouted slightly, wanting to relish in being pampered by Alex, in Alex worrying about her, showing her that she loved her.

“Kara.” Alex put a hand on Kara’s calf when Kara remained silent. The younger sister jerked in response to the touch. It was not out of offense, Kara was simply surprised at the contact, the warmth of Alex’s hand on her skin. She loved it, a little too much perhaps. She jerked because she felt a jolt of heat, and it was travelling at _Superspeed_ downwards her more sacred regions and—

Alex pulled her hand away, apparently upset by Kara’s response. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” Alex asked, rubbing her own hands together.

Kara shook her head fiercely. _Put your hand back on my leg!_

“Kara, talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kara pouted again, scowling at herself for sounding so damn immature. Alex shouldn’t have to deal with an insolent _younger sister_ now.

 _Or maybe she should!_ The petulant-little-sister part of Kara thought.

“Would potstickers make those pretty little lips move?” Alex asked teasingly.

Kara blushed, hearing the words ‘pretty’, ‘lips’ and ‘move’ in one sentence would sure do a lot of help in her fantasies come midnight and sleep.

“Come on. You love potstickers!” Alex said, her smile contagious as she looked at Kara.

“I do. But my lips will be moving solely because I’ll be chewing said potstickers. I’m not talking.”

“We’ll see.” Alex smirked and held out her hand to lead Kara out of bed.

Kara took her sister’s hand firmly, savouring the softness and warmth of it. She wondered how a badass combater like Alex could still possess such undamaged epithelium. She was probably too in awe because she did something without thinking. For Kara and her superhuman strength, it didn’t take much for her to topple Alex over herself; really, it was a miniscule nudge. That was all it took Kara to pull Alex down onto the bed with her. Alex gasped, surprised when she landed on Kara’s chest, nose buried between Kara’s neck and collarbone. Kara was positively heating up, feeling Alex’s hot breath on her skin, Alex squirming as she tried to push herself up and off Kara.

“Sorry. Jerky this morning.” Kara’s excuse was utterly lame. Kara thought she needed to add an exaggerated flick of her wrist to add to its conviction. “Didn’t sleep well.”

Alex regarded her with a soft smile, conveying sympathy, it seemed. Kara accepted it with a smile of her own.

“So, Mon-El dropped by last night…” Kara started to speak after her fourth potsticker. Alex smirked, smugness written all over her face. Kara scoffed before swatting her forearm lightly.

“Sorry, sorry! Geez. Allow a sister to be smug for a while. You know I love being right.” Alex’s teasing grin was mesmerizingly sexy. Kara blinked a few times before clearing her throat.

“Anyway,” Kara threw her fifth potsticker into her mouth. “He uh…” Bite, chew, chew, swallow. “Told me he likes me.” Sixth potsticker. Bite, chew, chew, swallow.

Alex smiled softly, her eyes keen on Kara. Kara did not look like she enjoyed the confession all that much. “Where do you stand on that… um, notion?”

“I don’t like Mon-El that way. You _know_ that right?”

“I do…” Alex whispered.

“But you keep trying to get us together,” Kara pointed out loudly, unhappily. “Why do you do that, Alex?”

“I… I thought he’d make you happy. You guys share a lot of things in common, you guys hit off pretty well… you laugh at his lame jokes and he laughs at yours. It’s been so long seen you went out with anyone. I just… want you to be happy.”

Kara pouted, looking down at the remaining potstickers thoughtfully. “You laugh at my lame jokes too…” she almost said but did not. “And you make me insanely happy,” just at the tip of her tongue but Kara swallowed her words, her thoughts, kept them to herself.

“But, hey, Kara,” Alex grabbed Kara’s hand in her own. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you minded so much. My bad, okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed—

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t know,” Kara shrugged it off.

“I’ll cut it out. I promise,” Alex said determinedly.

Kara chuckled at Alex’s panic, loving every moment of Alex clutching her hands tightly. “You better,” Kara said with a short scoff. “Mon-El’s a friend. He might be a good one, but that’s all okay? Just like Winn, just like James.”

Alex lifted her hands as if in surrender. “Mon-El’s a friend,” Alex parroted and smiled when Kara burst into laughter.

They finished the last few potstickers in comfortable silence. Kara actively avoided asking about Alex’s evening because that would entail listening to Alex gush about Maggie and potentially hearing about their bedroom _activities_. Kara was simply not in the mood for that kind of torture, as much as she loved hearing whatever that made Alex so gleamingly happy today. Alex was considerate, focusing on Kara instead of her own joy the whole time. After brunch, they moved their conversation to the couch where Kara told her about wanting to clarify things with Mon-El, make sure that no one was hanging onto a hopeless thread.

“How do I tell someone that it’s not _his_ problem but _mine_?” Kara asked, extending her legs on top of Alex’s crossed ones. The older sister instinctively leaned into them, hugging them casually.

“You ask me that as if I am an expert in rejecting a relationship why?” Alex teased, and took a swig of scotch.

“No, no. I don’t mean it like that. It’s just… you’ve… done it a few times…?” Kara tried. Alex’s body was heavy and warm against her legs. Kara tried not to focus on _that_ too much. “Not that I mean you’re very good at breaking people’s hearts or anything I just—

Alex chuckled at Kara’s ramble. “I’m kidding, Kara. Um… I usually go right ahead and tell them that… I have other priorities in life right now like my career and my family,” Alex offered, casually waving her hand as she recalled. “Make sure I don’t spill that I’m a D.E.O. agent,” she nodded. “And I will let them know that maybe it would’ve worked out if we’d met in a different time or if we are at different places in our lives.”

Kara listened attentively. _In a different time…_ She nodded, appreciating Alex’s insights all the same.

“So… tell Mon-El that I want to focus on my career as a journalist and that I have my family to take care of.”

“Yeah. Look, Kara, you’re an amazing woman,” Alex told Kara sincerely, her hand abandoning the glass of scotch to hold Kara’s knee. “Just be honest with Mon-El. He’ll get it. Aren’t Daxamites supposed to be highly evolved intellectually?”

Kara pretended to muse over that statement. Her inner Kryptonian still held a petty grudge over all things Daxamite. “Intellectual?” she tapped a finger to her chin.

Alex rolled her eyes, muttering, “Drama queen.” Kara giggled and threw a pillow at her. “ _So_ mature,” Alex poked her tongue out. Kara laughed heartily at her sister’s antics. Just like that, the mood was shifted to something way lighter than what Alex came to find in the morning. The rest of the Sunday was spent indoors. Kara demanded that Alex make up for all the missed movie nights. The older sister willingly obliged. Kara even tried to negotiate permission for alien alcohol while guilt-tripping her older sister. To her mild surprise, Alex agreed. They spent hours cuddling on the couch, commentating on the episodes of Orphan Black Season 2.

Alex fell asleep on the couch shortly before midnight. Apparently, binge watching TV shows exhausted humans. Kara smiled, watching Alex sleep peacefully. Kara watched the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of Alex’s chest, hovered one hand above it, never touching it. With a soft, “Good night, Alex,” Kara carried Alex to her bed, pulled the sheets over her slumbering body and flew out of the apartment. Kara could not trust herself that night near Alex. Too much proximity and the dash of alien alcohol Alex had allowed Kara to take with her scotch was doing _things_ to Kara. Things like wanting to kiss Alex, actually, _really_ capture Alex’s lips with her own, to feel Alex’s moan, feel the sound she so often dreamed of _actually_ vibrate against her tongue, to touch Alex _everywhere_. Kara might just understand why Alex usually forbade her near alien alcohol.

…

13 years since she crash-landed on Earth, 13 years they’d celebrate it, 13 years Kara and Alex had that one night that was _exclusive_ to the both of them. They would hang out, do stuff together, and Kara would inevitably fall more hopelessly in love with Alex. Kara convinced Alex to follow her to the Alien Bar for a little pre-celebration. She thought it was a cool idea; a familiar place, cosy, not too boisterous and… Kara needed to do that _talk_ thingy with Mon-El. The sooner things were out in the open, the better. Less broken hearts.

Kara convinced Alex to buy her anything _but_ club soda because club sodas were _weak_. Kara needed something… courageous. Alex reluctantly agreed. “Two shots, max. If I find you downing a third—

“I’m banned from this place for the next ten days.” Kara rolled her eyes playfully. She downed the first shot and grinned at Alex who was watching her in amusement. “One.” Kara licked her lips and Alex mirrored her unconsciously. Kara hid her surprise (and arousal) at Alex’s gesture. She downed a second shot and lifted two fingers.

“Good luck,” Alex said quietly, and Kara wandered off to where Mon-El was bartending. She thought she had the wise advice from Alex previously and the liquid courage (also from Alex) to talk to Mon-El about the conversation the other night. Kara approached the bar, Mon-El spotted her and gave her a charming smile. But alcohol and words did not mix well for Kara. It was difficult for Kara to get to the point assertively. And when she finally did, Kara was positive the world was spinning.

“Here’s the thing… um, you’re right… I’m not sure that we’re a good match,” came stumbling out of Kara’s loose lips.

“Uh, yeah, yeah… No, um, I’m just glad we’re on the same page,” Mon-El said reluctantly.

“I mean, yeah, you know, I have my career in journalism which I just started out on and um, in the meantime when I’m not Supergirl, I really need to focus on that. And even though if I have time to date someone, I—

_Would date Alex. Would date my sister._

“—wouldn’t date someone like—who—who is—

“An intergalactic bartender?” Mon-El quipped.

“Yes!”

“Yes? Okay.” Mon-El rolled his eyes.

“No! No wait. It’s… it’s not your job. It’s—

_Me. I am in love with Alex Danvers and I cannot find any capacity within myself to love you the way you want me to, the way I love Alex._

“—the way you are.”

Kara winced at her own words.

Mon-El nodded slowly and sadly. “I am going to go over there now.” It was a statement to tell Kara _not_ to follow him. Kara, despite her tipsiness, got that.

“That looks serious,” Alex sidled up to Kara at the bar.

“I really did try telling him the way you told me I should but I just… shoved both feet into my mouth.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Alex offered, rubbing circles on Kara’s shoulder.

“It was though. It really, really was. Why did I think the alcohol was a good idea?”

“Hey, don’t sweat it,” Alex tried again. “Actually, do sweat it. Because or else the whole idea of metabolising—

“Alex. Nerd talk. Tipsy alien. No.”

“Sorry.”

“Ugh!” Kara groaned. “But! On to more important things now!”

“Right.”

“Earth birthday. 13 years, since I crashed on Earth! So I know that we’ve always done cupcakes. But I was thinking, this year, we could go all out for the number 13; and I’ve always wanted to try country line dancing, so I made us this reservation at a club that if we get there before 7, they’d teach us all these tutorials and these dances—

“Kara, about Earth birthday…”

Kara knew that tone. It was going to be followed by, “I’m sorry I…” Insert disappointing news.

“I know that we always celebrated it and we-we never missed a year, b-but the thing is t-that um, I… um… _Maggie_ surprised me with concert tickets to the Barenaked Ladies … tonight.” Alex inhaled sharply, embarrassed by her own stammering.

_Oh._

“Oh.”

_You’ve loved the Barenaked Ladies since college._

“And, she _knows_ that I’ve loved the Barenaked Ladies since college and it would be our first concert together, so I thought maybe if—I—maybe if—do you think—if maybe we can celebrate another night?”

_Oh._

“So, you bringing me out here tonight was just… what? A way to let me down nicely?” Kara said bitterly.

Alex’s eyes screamed apology, but Kara was hurt _differently_ this time. This was brutal. Kara scowled at Alex. Alex was too good at letting people down _nicely_.

“No, Kara—

Alex’s attempt at explaining was interrupted when a super-excited and bouncy Maggie came up to them, squealing, “Oh my God! You are not going to believe this but one of my guys at my precinct who is working security at the venue tonight and he was able to _upgrade_ our tickets to VIP!”

Maggie’s excitement was contagious. Alex was grinning widely when the detective slammed the VIP tickets on the bar table with a cute victory cheer. Kara watched, drowning in envy and hurt as Maggie and Alex giggled in excitement over the concert _tonight_ ; that one night that was _exclusive_ to the both of them. Kara and Alex. _Not_ Maggie and Alex.

Alex’s excitement died very quickly when she noticed Kara’s dejected expression, and Maggie was quick to notice Alex’s too. “Is everything okay?” Maggie asked.

Kara put on that incredibly fake grin, regarding Maggie with brilliantly concealed jealousy. “Sounds like you guys are going to have a lot of fun tonight.”

Alex was torn in between the two women she loved most in the entire universe. “Are-are you sure?”

Alex knew. _Of course not, you dummy_. But Alex had to ask. She needed to hear Kara say it because Maggie was looking at her with those huge, pleading eyes and she knew she’d hate every moment of the concert if Kara did not give them her blessings.

“Go, yeah! Go, have fun!” Kara told them.

Alex nodded, smiling in relief. She mentally berated herself for believing in her own lies so easily. For Maggie though, she would. She kissed Kara on her cheeks, to make sure the hurt from Kara’s eyes was extinguished even slightly. They said goodbye and Alex let Maggie lead her out of the Alien Bar.

…

Kara could still feel the lingering warmth of Alex’s lips where she had just kissed her. The lower corner of the left side of her lip, and the spot very close to her right ear, just underneath her right zygomatic. It sent shocks of excitement down her spine, it made her heart beat furiously, it made her realise she was blushing when she felt the warmth on her cheeks when she leaned it against the cold glass of club soda she was holding. She bit her lip, trying hard as she might, to get her mind straight, away from Alex and her girlfriend spending the rest of the night at a concert, away from how amazing the feeling as when Alex pressed her lips on her skin, away from how dizzy she felt right now from the hard crush she had on the beautiful D.E.O. agent.

Alex had kissed her many, many times on her cheeks like that. But when Alex kissed her in front of Maggie, Kara felt foolishly victorious, possessive even. Like a silent “Ha! Take that Mags! She kissed me!”

Kara sighed deeply.

“Kara, you alright? Can I get you anything to drink?” M’gann came to ask her, regarding her empty glass with a raised brow.

Kara shook her head then chuckled. “Just… get me something strong.”

M’gann looked surprised. “But Alex—

“Alex is not here.” Kara realised that came out too harshly, so she shot M’gann an apologetic look. “Actually, you know what? I’ll have whatever he’s having.”

M’gann followed Kara’s pointer finger to Mon-El, leaning against the bar, chatting with some patrons.

“Oh, he’s been drinking exclusively club soda for the last week.”

Kara scoffed. “Really?”

M’gann nodded.

“I’ll stick with my club soda then. Thank you.”

When M’gann nodded again and continued to work, Kara spared Mon-El a glance. Mon-El was laughing at something one of the patrons said. Kara wondered how easy it would all be if she could just _love_ him back. She could, right? She could give him a chance. She didn’t have to _love_ him, per se. They could try the whole courting, romantic bits, then… go back to being platonic once Mon-El realised it was not working out. Kara could give herself a chance at… _this_. Happiness? _Mutual_ love? Requited love? Even for an inevitably short time. Even if she knew her heart already belonged to Alex Danvers.

Kara wondered if she _could_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on 2x11 because of the sheer amount of Kalex in it (oh my goodness!). 
> 
> Kara thinks 13th Earth Birthday might not suck so much after all.  
> Some White Martian nonsense, some Kalex moments.  
> (I enjoyed writing the latter. I intended this one to be Lena-centric (based on 2x12) but I couldn't proceed with posting that chapter without posting this one first.)
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Kara was in a foul mood, at least Winn noticed it. He did not say it aloud, the man knew he wanted his head and other parts intact and not severed by an angry Kryptonian. Kara constantly blowing off steam at the D.E.O. while Winn tracked down signatures and reports on a certain White Martian, Kara constantly sighing and groaning whenever she was not doing enough damage to the bots. Winn knew something was up.

“It’s like… you know?” Kara tried to tell him but threw her hands up in surrender. She could not explain to Winn why Alex spending time with Maggie insulted her so much. She could not explain to him inquiring about why she minded because then Kara would lose it and tell him that she was not willing to share Alex.

“Ohhh-kay,” Winn said. “Hey, why don’t I um… get back to the… um computers,” he swivelled around in his chair and Kara sighed loudly again.

…

Back in Alex’s apartment, Maggie couldn’t help but notice that her girlfriend simply wasn’t as excited about the concert as she was, or as excited as Maggie thought she would be.

“I am excited, I promise!” Alex quickly corrected Maggie, leaning forward for emphasis.

“Really? Because I’ve seen your face when you defeated a bloodthirsty alien. I know what excited Alex Danvers look like,” Maggie smirked, mildly disappointed, heavily concerned. “And this isn’t quite like it,” she pecked Alex’s lips and leant back to regard Alex. “What is it?”

“No. _This_ is _perfect_ , Mags. All of it. I just—I… _Kara_ ,” Alex sighed. “I think… I think I hurt her feelings. I just—I’m sorry,” she tucked a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ears.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Maggie cupped Alex’s cheeks. “I just want you to have fun. And right now, something’s eating at you.”

“No. _No_ , I’m just distracted. But now, I’m going to forget about it for the rest of the evening,” Alex dusted her hands. “I promise.”

“You know, the days of you pushing down your feelings, are officially _over_ ,” Maggie said, catching Alex’s hands mid-air and held them in hers. “G _o_ , go talk to your sister.”

Alex swooned at Maggie’s consideration towards her feelings and needs. “Really?”

“Yeah, go. I’ll meet you there.” Maggie smiled widely when Alex rewarded her with a deep kiss, whispering, “You’re the best”, before parting.

Alex was back at the D.E.O. in a heartbeat.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at the concert with your girlfriend?”

Alex ignored the way Kara’s tone stung at the last few words. “Hey. No, um, I just wanted to check in.”

“I was just going to get an update, but I don’t think we found anything,” Kara shrugged. Alex looked at the cut on Kara’s cheek. It was healing rapidly, but Alex did not miss it. “Fought the boss bot?” she asked her younger sister, reaching to touch the bruised cheek. Kara blushed.

“Anyway, I—I wanted to check in about _us_.” Alex said, taking a deep breath before continuing. Kara looked at Alex, a little too happy at being told that. “I’m sorry I bailed on your Earth Birthday. And you made all those _plans_ —

“I made them this morning,” Kara shrugged casually, trying to console Alex. “It’s not a big deal.”

 _I am supposed to be the one making amends, Kara._ Alex would never get over how selfless Kara could be sometimes.

Alex’s lips twitched into a half-smirk. “This morning? That’s a little last minute of you.” It was a quip; one which Kara rolled her eyes at while chuckling.

“I know, I know. I got a little overexcited about it.”

Alex smiled softly but concern still etched on her face. Kara put a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Alex. Really. We can celebrate another night.”

“So, you’re not mad at me?” Alex asked earnestly.

Kara chuckled, pleased at how un-forced it sounded. “No. No, I was not mad!”

“Because it really felt like you were mad at me. And I felt really guilty for trying to have fun at the concert and Maggie—

“Alex,” Kara cut in sharply. She did not want to hear about Maggie right now, she really didn’t. She wanted Alex to talk about her. Alex waited for Kara to speak. “I was being immature.”

When Alex smiled softly, shaking her head slightly, Kara let Alex’s words sink in. She instantly felt sorry that Alex had _not_ had fun because she felt guilty. “Hey. I want you to have fun with your _girlfriend,_ it’s not a big deal, it’s fine.”

Alex bit her lip and Kara had to look away. “You promise?” Alex sounded so timid and small when she sought Kara’s affirmation. Dang Alex Danvers and her Puppy Dog Eyes.

“Absolutely,” Kara let her eyes flick to Alex’s lips, pouty and _tempting_ from the bite mere seconds ago. She quickly walked away, turn her back on Alex because if she stared at Alex’s _lips_ any longer, she would do something she would regret. Like bite them for her.

Fine, she had half-lied to Alex; she was not _absolutely_ fine. But Kara only did it because she didn’t want Alex to think that she was… _petty_. There really was no other reason why Kara was ‘mad’ at Alex besides the fact that she was incredibly jealous of Maggie’s possession of _her_ Alex and hurt by the fact that Alex had chosen Maggie over her. Then again, Kara did tell her to “go ahead” earlier, to “go have fun with Maggie”. Kara groaned inwardly. This was so frustrating.

And fine, Kara may be a little immature at the fact that they broke the streak for having celebrated Kara’s Earth Birthday every year without fail for the past 12 years. Maybe Kara liked it a little too much to have streaks and milestones with Alex; it was like their little game, their own brand of bonding; one that Kara felt like Maggie was slowly stealing away from her.

 …

When Alex insisted that she stick around the D.E.O. with Kara, the younger sister had to hide her glee while she filled Alex in on their mission. They soon found themselves on lockdown in the D.E.O. when J’onn decided to trap Armek, a rogue White Martian _and_ everyone else in the facility to catch the it. It was a terrible idea on J’onn’s part when the agents started pointing their _guns_ at each other. The White Martian really could be any of them. Kara knew that paranoia was justifiable but when Agent Demos pointed his weapon at Alex, Kara was not going to justify _that_. “Hey, you _really_ need to put that gun down!” she scolded, jumping in front of Alex instantly.

When ‘Winn’ turned out to be Armek, Kara and Alex had to team up fight against the shape-shifted White Martian. With Winn’s intelligence and intel, Armek was dangerous. He had overloaded the reactor, planning to take down the building and everyone in it to fulfil his mission.

“Go look around the corner,” Alex whispered to Kara when the Kryptonian did not understand her sign language. Trust Kara to be completely useless at standard tactical hand signalling. Trust Kara to look completely dorky when she finally understood what Alex was trying to say.

“All clear!” Kara said.

They proceeded further down the hallway, carefully seeking Armek out without blowing their stealth.

“Not so good at communicating now, are we?” Alex asked, half-teasing about Kara’s cluelessness in tactical hand signals.

Kara pulled a deep breath and then let out a long sigh. “Fine. I was mad before about Earth Birthday,” she said, her voice kept to a whisper albeit harsh.

“I knew it… I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have bailed on you—

“It just… hurt my feelings,” Kara said. _Amongst many things._

“I know… I’m sorry… it wasn’t fair… look, I don’t want to feel bad for wanting to spend time with Maggie—

“You shouldn’t.” Kara interjected. Alex did not have feel bad for wanting to be _happy_. “It’s a good thing,” she said, nodding her head too forcefully. Why was it always Alex’s happiness before her own? Why did she love Alex so much?

“I just…” Kara inhaled sharply. There was so many truths Kara could tell Alex now. She just had to pick one. “Ever since I arrived on Earth, I just can’t imagine—I can’t imagine what _life_ would be like without you beside me all the time.”

Alex gave her an apologetic look. Kara swallowed and quickly continued, “I felt that changing and I… it’s just… it was _scary_! When my parents put me on the pod in Krypton, I didn’t think I realised what was happening. I didn’t _know_ that I’ll say goodbye to them forever. I… it feels like I’ve been abandoned before and I…”

 _I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to abandon me._ But Kara couldn’t say any of that without breaking down into a puddle of tears.

Alex seemed to have read her mind; the older sister shook her head. “I will _never_ abandon you.”

Kara nodded, pleased at the answer.

…

Imagine the betrayal Kara felt when J’onn told her that a second White Martian was impersonating Alex. Kara was furious, heck she was manically mad. “I am so glad that your friend found your sister,” the White Martian mocked. “It was so exhausting to pretend to _care_ about your silly little feelings!”

Kara seethed and lunged at it. She felt horrible at the thought of needing to _hit_ an Alex-looking White Martian. She almost felt it was difficult to do it until said Martian taunted her again.

Kara punched hard, her aim perfect. “If you _hurt_ her!” Punch.

“You’ll what?” The White Martian delivered a blow, sending Kara flying backwards. “Whine at me?”

Kara knew that was not Alex. _It wasn’t. It wasn’t_. But Kara was _hurt_ _big time_ , physically and emotionally. It suddenly felt good to lunge at the Alex-looking White Martian again. Kara yelled in her anger, delivering punches after punches until the White Martian metamorphosed into its own skin.

The White Martian was knocked out; Kara gave it an extra hard punch, just for extra measure. “I’ll _hurt_ you, really, really _hurt_ you!”

The real Winn managed to stabilise the core reactor and the real Alex came in time to shoot down the White Martian which Kara had temporarily subdued. It had sprung up on an unexpecting J’onn, but Alex had remarkable reflexes and an out-of-the-world gun.

Kara refrained from saying anything to Alex, the trauma from pouring her heart out just now lingered. When Alex hurried to call Maggie to apologise for missing out on the concert, Kara could only stare in silence.

…

13th Earth Birthday sucked. Kara sipped on her cup of hot tea, curled up on the couch _without_ Alex. Old films without Alex was not the same. Kara did not have a warm body to cuddle, slender fingers to play with, soft breasts to lean on.

At the sound of two calculated knocks, Kara put down her cup and used her X-ray vision to check the visitor. It was Alex, holding what seemed like a cupcake with a candle on it. _Why didn’t she just use her key?_ Kara wondered at first but quickly realised that she was on her feet with a wide grin plastered across her face soon enough; Alex was here. She swung the door open, to a very adorable, apologetic Alex Danvers, holding a heavily-frosted cupcake with a small ‘K’ in the middle in both hands. The lone candle in it added to the whole charm. The sight made Kara feel _enchanted_. Kara stared at Alex, her grin dropped to a softer, more loving smile.

“Happy Earth Birthday,” Alex said breathily, taking in the sight of Kara wearing one of the sweaters Alex gave her for her birthday. At Kara’s hesitant silence, Alex knew she needed to up her game.

“Look there’s a ‘K’! Blow it out?” she asked gently. Kara smirked and leaned down, puffing her cheeks. “Slowly,” Alex reminded her teasingly, and Kara chuckled before blowing the sole candle out. Alex loved Kara’s laugh and wondered why she hadn’t been doing much to elicit that beauteous melody from Kara recently. Kara took the cupcake from Alex’s hands, eyeing it hungrily. “Thank you,” the younger sister smiled sweetly.

“You’re welcome.”

Kara pulled Alex into her apartment and closing the door behind her.

“Was um… Maggie mad that you missed the concert? And that you’re here now instead of… with her…” Kara did not know why but she thought that was a great conversation starter. She mentally berated herself. _Dummy_.

Alex smiled. “Luckily, I have a girlfriend who understands that when deadly aliens besiege my place of work, that takes precedence. And… I needed to make sure that my sister is alright.”

Kara smiled brightly. “I’m glad everyone’s alright.”

Alex nodded, a stream of thoughts plaguing her mind.

“And that last White Martian!” Kara said and scoffed. “First of all, boy, did it do a good impression of you, and second, you got there _just_ in time!”

Kara took out a plate and a fork. She liked the idea of sharing her cutleries with Alex.

“Speaking of White Martians… Kara…” Alex was drumming her fingers on the table. Kara chuckled at the dead giveaway of Alex’s nervousness. “When it was me, did you have a conversation?”

Kara didn’t reply, instead, she sliced the cupcake into two perfect halves in pure concentration.

“Because…” Alex continued. Kara looked up, wondering why Alex was acting so edgy suddenly because _Kara_ was edgy. Oh, she was edgy off the edge! “Because I have these um… these memories. They’re like… they’re almost like dream that _we_ talked… but I’m not really sure if that was real.”

Kara licked her finger, tasting the sweetness of the frosting while she observed Alex. “So, you remember?” she finally asked.

Alex sighed. “Yeah… so I’m not crazy?” the older sister attempted to joke but realised that Kara was on at being serious regarding this matter.

Kara shook her head, smiling softly. “I guess… if the White Martian’s bond is strong enough… the telepathy goes both ways.” She eyed Alex carefully, shyly, curiously.

“Yeah I guess so…”

Silence.

“Kara,” Alex said. “I’m not _ever_ going anywhere. Okay? I _promise_.” Kara pulled a deep breath. She had heard this before. Except, Kara had the misfortune of discovering that a White Martian had taken the place of her beloved sister when it ‘she’ so passionately told her that.

“Just because I’m with Maggie, doesn’t mean that I’m not with you. _Always_.” This made the difference. Kara couldn’t help but smile softly, _sadly_ at Alex’s words.

“I know… I… I made all those big plans because I wanted to make this day extra special but I just… I felt you slipping away,” Kara admitted earnestly. She didn’t realise she was shedding tears until Alex brushed her cheek softly.

“I am not. _Ever_.” Alex sensed Kara’s uncertainty, felt Kara tense slightly, saw Kara’s face lined with fear. “Hey, look at me.” Alex was soft when she reached across the table to cup Kara’s cheek.

Alex gazed into Kara’s blue orbs, sparkling behind her tears. Alex leaned in and rested her forehead on Kara’s. “I promise you,” she whispered. Kara nodded, blinking away more tears. She nodded because Alex was reassuring her. She nodded because Alex was holding her face like she was fragile, and breakable, and needed protection. She nodded because Alex was so close to her; so close she could breathe the unique scent of her older sister, one she was so familiar with, one she grew to love, one she couldn’t get enough of. She nodded because _Alex_ promised that she would never abandon her.

“Hey… is that the only reason why you made all those big plans?” Alex asked after a while.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, sometimes, in our life when one part is really confusing, we will pour way more attention than necessary into another. And… I noticed that you’ve been a bit… overwhelmed about something lately and I just want you to be able to tell me _anything_. I’m here for you, _always_.”

Kara smiled softly. If only Alex knew what had been overwhelming her. Instead, Kara shook her head, refusing to let out any information.

“I also notice that… you seemed a little… _affected_ when you talked to Mon-El.”

“Alex, I thought you said you’ll drop it.” Kara sighed. _It’s not Mon-El. It’s you. You got me so damn overwhelmed ever since you fell in love with Maggie. Ever since that time you made me take you flying for the first time. Ever since we met each other; it had always been you, if only you knew._

“I know. I’m sorry but… is it Mon-El though?” Alex asked with stubborn curiosity.

Kara sighed. Overwhelmed she was, by one Alex Danvers. “Yes.”

Alex raised a brow, seemingly surprised. Kara wondered why. “I… I told him that… we aren’t good together.”

“And you really believe that?”

Kara eyed the cake thoughtfully. _Why do you have to make things so complicated, Alex?_

“He’s complicated.”

Alex hummed. Kara scowled. “And it’s not just about him, it’s about me. Every time I put myself out there… it backfires.” Kara glanced at Alex. The bittersweet of the truth of her own words hit Kara painfully. “And I can’t tell him what I _really_ feel… I don’t know… it’s too risky.”

Alex smiled softly at her younger sister. “You know… I happen to have taken a rather big romantic risk recently,” Alex said playfully. Kara chuckled. Trust Alex to make light of any situation. But Alex regarded her seriously after that. “I have to say: it pays off.” Kara bit her lip. She wouldn’t count on that. She averted her gaze from Alex, the intensity of her gaze got a tad too _overwhelming_ at this point.

“Maybe he’s worth a shot.” Alex smiled again and snatched the fork from Kara’s grasp, stabbing a chunk of cake and popping it into her mouth. She left the fork in her mouth while she eyed Kara with keen concern.

Kara scoffed softly. _Maybe indeed._ She looked at Alex, her cute sister with the fork trapped between two rows of perfect white teeth, grinning up at her. She looked at Alex, perfection in the form of a human woman. She looked at Alex, amazing, caring, _perfect_ Alex. Kara nodded, a small tip of her head, and smiled at her older sister when she took the fork out of her mouth, stabbed the last piece of cake and fed it to Kara.

Kara took the cake in her mouth, tasting Alex on the fork, _loving_ the fusion of flavour, of Alex’s minty sweetness and the cake’s gooey saccharine. Kara might name it her favourite flavour after all. Kara smiled, thinking to herself that she did fall deeper in love with Alex after all. That 13th Earth Birthday did not suck after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter I finally have the courage to post. It's got some Lena in it, some Kalex in it.  
> Alex introduces her girlfriend to the group (psst, it's not Kara).  
> Lena Luthor has mommy issues but turns out well any way.  
> Alex almost lost Kara so a lot of hugging and crying ensue.  
> Supergirl saves Lena (but Kara Danvers is her hero).  
> Oh, and Lena likes Kara (a lot).
> 
> Based on 2x12 (mostly).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Lena Luthor sat in her chair, the thousand-dollar material of it felt magnificently marvellous to touch, her gaze swept the beaming skyline of National City. The night view of her city never failed to take her breath away. Lena enjoyed watching the bright lights, CatCo’s news choppers, and a familiar dashing flying figure.

Lena remembered Supergirl flying into her office weeks ago, saving her life when Cyborg Superman attacked her in an attempt to steal Isotope-454 for Cadmus. She harboured deep gratitude for the superhero, for her timeliness and strength. It was a pivotal moment to see your life flash before your eyes when you saw your own death as a heavy projectile was launched at you at high velocity. It was mad fear, lots of spite and before Lena knew it, extreme relief when Supergirl threw herself in front of her and shielded her from the attack.

Supergirl, valiant and strong, stood in front of her and took the blast got her. There was something about the way Supergirl commanded her to take shelter, with panicked concern. The panic, Lena thought, looked and sounded familiar. Lena fled the scene, shaking the curiosity off her mind.

When Supergirl dropped by much later, Lena made sure to thank her properly. What started out as a potentially pleasant conversation, the beginning of a budding friendship, turned out differently after all, much to Lena's dismay.

Supergirl wanted to know if she knew of her mother’s affiliations to Cadmus. It took Lena a lot of strength to not reveal her disappointment of the discovery and the knowledge that her mother indeed was scheming behind the world's back.

A small part of Lena wondered if she was meant to be like Lillian and Lex, to plot for alien eradication, and some day, world domination. Lena knew the genius trait that ran in the family, sometimes this genius may be misguided and prone to evil. But she did not want to be a Luthor, not like that. Except that they've been the only family she ever knew. Lena accused Supergirl to be no different than anyone who readily condemned the Luthors' disposition because of their family name.

“My mother is no saint. But you come in here and accuse of being the Devil incarnate? How long would it take before you come after me?” Lena said bitterly.

When Supergirl had told her that she was “too good and too smart to follow in Lillian's path”, that Lena could “be her own hero”, Lena whole-heartedly believed in her. How could she not when Supergirl's soft yet strong gaze bore into hers, those intensely blue eyes pleading her to remain _good_ , conveying such sincerity and _goodness_. Supergirl trusted her. That small part of Lena; who longed to _belong_ to her family and to receive trust and confidence from her mother, tugged at her heart. She was so angry at Lillian, so hurt by the truth; she was most disappointed by the fact that despite it all, she still wanted to do right by Lillian, to love her as her mother.

She did not want to go against her mother, did not want to betray her family; Lena wanted to make her own decisions that was _good_ and _right_. Lena clenched her teeth together, the strong lines of her jaw moving as she contemplated her next action.

Lena knew what she had to do. She had a plan she knew would work. In the end, she did help put Lillian behind bars and saved the day by swapping the isotope with a decoy. In the end, Lena got a taste of what it felt like to have Lillian appreciate her, to recognise the _Luthor_ in her. In the end, Lena decided that she very much preferred to be _good_ than to have her mother’s approval. Lena wanted to be her own hero.

…

Lena put her arms on the armrests of her chair, appreciating the feel of the hard leather. Lena smiled softly as she briefly recalled that day Supergirl had saved her when her chopper got shot. Supergirl had pulled the broken chopper and her to safety; that was the first time Supergirl had saved her.

She found herself often thinking about Supergirl ever since that day. There was something about the way she was such a people-person, something Lena tried so hard to be; to be liked. Lena was not sure if her infatuation with the alien was purely out of admiration or envy. What would everyone else perceive of her friendship with Supergirl? Did Supergirl see a friend in Lena?

Supergirl appeared at the explosion during the presentation, hero once again. John Corben held Agent Danvers hostage, gun to her head, so Lena pulled the trigger, bullet through his abdomen. Supergirl had watched, wide-eyed, horrified and grateful. Lena would think that Supergirl showed the agent a little too much care. Then again, Supergirl had always been the symbol of _good_ , had she not?

The next time Lena saw Supergirl, the Kryptonian was on the news (when was she not?). Lena was grateful when Kara Danvers was willing to help her get in touch with Supergirl because Lena wanted to request for Supergirl’s help in protecting her and her guest during a charity event to raise funds for a children's hospital. Supergirl had discouraged her from it, saying that the event would be a target for gang attacks. “You like to take risks, don’t you?” Supergirl had asked her.

“You can’t live in fear. You of all people should understand. You risk your life time and again to see justice done. Is it so hard to believe that I would feel the same way?” Lena countered. “Or are you one of those people who do not believe that there’s such a thing as a good Luthor?”

“I believe everyone should be judged on their own merits.”

“Then judge me on mine.” Lena pleaded with her eyes. “This party must happen, and I’m asking for your help.”

Her plea came through to Supergirl. When Supergirl agreed, Lena was positive she was beaming with joy. “So, Kara and I will see you tomorrow night?” she asked Supergirl. She was surprised to catch the brief panic that crossed Supergirl’s face at her question.

“Yes! Kara and I will _both_ be at your party.”

…

Lena leaned back into her chair, letting her thoughts run free after a long and hectic day at work. The charity gala L-Corp was hosting in a week’s time, the company retreat to Hawaii next month, the meeting with a potential sponsor to her own private science project tomorrow, Thai or Chinese food for dinner, laboratory upgrades, the lost order on an electron microscope yesterday, the repair cost of the roof of her building after Supergirl crashed into it last night while fighting a rogue alien, the uncanny similarity Supergirl bore to a _particular_ someone, and it annoyed Lena that she couldn’t spell it out.

It was easy to settle on a thought. She settled on thinking about Kara Danvers. Dear, dear Kara and her sundresses. Dear, dear Kara and her sunny disposition. Dear, dear Kara and her willingness to befriend a Luthor. Lena had a feeling that Kara was good for her. Kara was supportive, trusting and never judgemental. Lena divulged in Kara about her adoption, and she was oddly comforted to learn that Kara was adopted too.

She had always liked the charm that Kara possessed, all klutz and cuteness rolled into a ball of smiling sunshine. The articles Kara wrote about L-Corp and Lena, the credits Kara gave Lena, the vote of confidence Kara ensured Lena receive from her.

When Lena invited Kara to the charity event, Lena did not expect the hitch in her breath, the way her eyes hungrily roamed down the expanse of Kara’s body in a beautiful evening gown, down the long, lean legs. Lena did not expect the blonde to show up _this_ gorgeous, hair up in a messy bun, glasses ever-present, smiling at her with that _smile_.

When Lena couldn’t find Kara after she (she and Winn, and Supergirl mostly) practically saved her own party, Lena couldn’t hide the disappointment. Worried, she sent Kara a text asking if she was alright and where she had gone to. The absence of reply from Kara did not settle well with her. It was gloomy, the feeling Lena felt in her; so gloomy, that Supergirl’s visit to her office, thanking her for helping to save the day did little to improve her mood.

She surprised even herself when the reply of a smiling emoji from Kara was all it took for her to feel better. Lena was not an idiot; she knew what this feeling was, what these emotions meant. She knew that she would be thinking about Kara Danvers a lot now after she knows, and deep down, Lena was afraid.

Afraid that Kara might not feel the same way, because Kara was too good, almost like Supergirl good, because Kara deserved someone better than Lena Luthor. Lena was afraid that no matter what she did, what she tried to do, she was never going to be truly good enough for Kara Danvers.

…

Kara watched the news announce the trial of Lillian Luthor. Kara thought of Lena immediately, wondering how the dark-haired woman was feeling and coping with the news. Lena and her enigmatic ways; her mysterious but _brilliant_ mind. It must be hard, turning against your family for the greater good. Kara (Supergirl) had not properly thanked Lena for her help and Kara made a mental note to drop by soon.

Kara tore her eyes from the TV to join J’onn, James and Winn at the table. It was a casual night out at the Alien Bar. Alex wanted to introduce the group to Maggie officially as her girlfriend and Kara told herself to be supportive because Alex was excited about tonight.

“I’m very excited to meet Alex’s new mystery man,” Winn said, his tone teasing.

“Do we know what he does for a living? Alex’s guy?”

“Cop.” Kara’s answer was brief.

Winn scoffed. “Yeah. No way Alex Danvers would date someone who doesn’t know his firearms.”

Kara tried to not be offended by that statement. _I can fire a gun. Right?_ Kara stared down at her own hands, suddenly feeling small. _Well, Maggie isn’t bulletproof._  

The group reacted well to Maggie when Alex introduced her to them, filled with “good for you’s”, congratulations and supportive smiles.

When Mon-El came to bring them their orders, Alex made sure he was informed too. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Maggie and I are dating.” Alex’s statement was confident and proud, and Kara thought how wonderful it must have felt like, to be introduced as Alex’s girlfriend. Maggie was a lucky woman. She watched Alex snake an arm around Maggie’s waist; Kara watched with narrowed eyes as Alex pull the detective closer to her; Kara watched, feeling her breath catch in her throat, as Maggie leaned her head on Alex’s shoulder, smiling at Mon-El while Mon-El complimented the couple. She watched with a tiny smile on her face, as Alex smile happily when Mon-El congratulated her, then she watched, wide-eyed and breathless, as Alex stare at _her_ , brown eyes meeting blue abruptly. Alex tilted her head, regarding Kara curiously. Alex mouthed a “you ok?” at Kara to which Kara nodded shyly, feeling a hot blush at being caught staring.

 _I am such a creep._ Kara sipped on her club soda, avoiding Alex’s gaze she felt on her.

Maggie invited the boys to play pool together; apparently Winn had a weakness for her dimpled smile because he agreed readily, claiming that pool was just “physics and geometry”. Everyone knew that Winn could not play pool to save his soul.

“Alex! My money is on your girl,” J’onn had spiritedly called out as they moved to the pool table. Kara’s heart clenched in envy. She looked at Maggie; Maggie who got to be _Alex’s_ _girl_. Kara tried not to let that affect her too much.

“Hey, that cop doesn’t know that I’m Guardian, right?” James asked Kara quietly when the group had all moved to the pool table, leaving the both of them trailing behind slowly.

“No.” Kara’s attention was diverted by an image of Lena Luthor on TV, the news headlines read ‘Lillian Luthor Trial’. Lena looked neutral on screen, sporting a stylish designer pantsuit, but Kara read solemnness in her green eyes. “Testifying today against Lillian Luthor, is her daughter Lena Luthor…”

Kara sighed, sympathising Lena. “What an awful thing to have to do,” Kara commented.

“Well, the Luthors had never shied away from doing awful things,” James supplied.

“Yeah, but she’s _not_ like them. She _knows_ Lillian is evil, she’s doing the _right_ thing even though she still loves her mother,” Kara jumped to Lena’s defence quickly. James sighed, and Kara needed to add, “What she did was _brave_!”

James shrugged. “If you say so.”

“I should go see her; she could probably use a friend,” Kara mused aloud.

“See, _using_ her friends, that’s exactly what I am worried about,” James told Kara seriously. 

Kara knew where James was coming from. Lex Luthor was terrible to Superman and James, being a friend of Clarke, harboured disdain for the Luthors. She bit her lip, wondering if she could harbour disdain even remotely similar to that of James’, towards Lena. After all, she was Superman’s _cousin_.

…

Kara dropped by the L-Corp tower later that night. After Lena had given her permission to access into her office, Kara had appreciatively benefitted from the privilege. No more receptionists, no more beefy security men, no more protective secretaries.

Kara surprised Lena with some ‘fried sugary goodness’; Lena accepted the doughnuts happily, playfully replying Kara’s “You eat doughnuts, right?” with a dramatic, “I am human.”

Lena told Kara that she felt good to “distance herself from the Luthor name by testifying earlier”. Lena told Kara about the missed calls from Lillian’s lawyers. “She wants to see me,” Lena told Kara, looking at her doughnut sadly.

“What do you think she wants?” Kara asked, biting into hers when Lena finally took the first bite.

“Probably to tell me that my outfit in court was horrible?” Lena joked in between mouthfuls. “That I need a makeover?” she added but the humour from her voice had gone. Kara regarded her sadly. Lena shrugged. “I don’t know, and I don’t care… I just thought I am done with her, you know?” Lena was pinching at the sides of her doughnut, obviously in thought. “Thought I’d finally shut the door on being a Luthor,” she said. “And there she was, back on my phone sheet,” she sang sarcastically.

“12 times,” Kara quipped, trying to lift the mood. Kara looked at her half-eaten doughnut, unsure of what to do with it because Lena was not eating hers anymore. Lena had pinched a bit of the doughnut off, waving it as she continued to share her troubles.

“You don’t think that I should feel guilty for not wanting to see that monster, right?” Lena asked.

“Well, do you think you’d find a peace of mind by visiting her and telling her how you really feel?” Kara asked.

“Even if I did, it wouldn’t make a difference,” Lena said bitterly, eyes downcast. Kara felt sorry for her. “She’d been the same way since the day I met her.”

Kara sighed. “I’ve spent most of my life wishing that I could talk to people that are no longer here,” Kara offered. She remembered her first few years on Earth, how terribly she missed her parents, her life on Krypton. It got better over the years, thanks to the solid support system she received from the Danvers. But that did not change the fact that sometimes, Kara would still cry herself to sleep, wishing more than ever that she could see her mother and father. “She’s still here. She’s still your mum…” she turned to give Lena a soft smile.

Lena nodded thoughtfully. Lena seemed to want to let the topic slide, so Kara respected that. Instead, Kara told Lena about Noonan and the delicious breakfast menu. Kara promised to take Lena out to Noonan one day. Kara made sure that Lena ate at least two more of those sugary goodness in the form of a ring, and by the end of the night, Lena was smiling more than before Kara dropped by.

Lena told Kara that she would agree to meet Lillian. Because Kara, like Supergirl, reminded her that she was _good_. And that there was nothing Lilian could do to convince her otherwise.

…

Lillian Luthor escaped with Metallo with the help of synthetic Kryptonite. Before she did that, Lilian made sure Lena knew the truth of her past and adoption. When Lilian asked Lena for a second chance, a tear-choked Lena agreed, holding the older woman’s hands tightly.

Given an ultimatum, Kara chose to save the people over recapturing Lilian Luthor. It was a good save, she thought, but Lillian and Metallo got away.

“I should’ve stopped them,” Kara grumbled, marching into the D.E.O. where Alex and Maggie stood next to each other, watching Kara’s lengthy stride. She marched past them; her goal was the gym and several broken bots.

“No, hey, you saved everyone, you made the right choice!” Alex quickly consoled her. Kara didn’t stop walking, letting Alex and Maggie trail after her. Alex and _Maggie_ ; why Maggie was here, Kara did not know. It was not like she was a _part_ of the D.E.O. She was just Alex’s _girlfriend_ , who apparently J’onn liked a lot after Alex introduced her officially. Kara was there, she saw how charmed everyone was by Maggie. Maggie and her pool-playing abilities (Alex’s was better but who was comparing), Maggie and her adorable dimples, Maggie and that hearty laugh which Alex loved so much. J’onn liked her enough to let her hang around the D.E.O.; he thought her presence and involvement were an upper-hand for their missions. Kara knew J’onn also let her hang around because of Alex. J’onn had always been that kind of ‘father figure’ to Alex and seeing Alex so happy with Maggie melted the Green Martian’s heart.

J’onn was right about Maggie being a good addition to the team, albeit unofficially; Maggie excused herself to take a call from one of her men from the precinct.

Kara continued to march while Alex chased after her in hurried steps. “Look, we’re going to find Metallo, and we are going to get him back into custody!” Alex said determinedly, catching up with her younger sister’s long strides.

“I know, I know. It’s just—I can’t figure out where he could’ve gotten all that Kryptonite; Clarke was supposed to have taken all of it!” Kara told Alex, frustration written on her face.

Maggie updated them with the prison’s visitor records. It turned out that the only visitor to the jail who became the prime suspect was Lena Luthor.

Kara frowned, confused. She knew that Lena had visited Lillian last night, Lena told her about it. But Lena helping Metallo escape? That was preposterous. Kara shook her head in disbelief.

…

Lena was upset and _touched_ when Kara dropped by to ‘warn’ her about what the people were saying about her involvement in Lillian’s and Metallo’s escape.

“You think that’s something that I would do?” Lena asked, a flash of hurt betraying her composure. At Kara’s hesitance, Lena crossly said, “You are beginning to sound a lot like a reporter and a lot less like a friend right now.”

“I don’t mean to. Lena—

Maggie and her officer barged into the office, badge flashing at their belts, the air of authority around them tense and apparent. When Maggie told Kara that it was better for her to leave because they were here on “official business”, Kara had stubbornly put down her bag on one of Lena’s chairs while Lena insisted that Kara stayed. “It’s okay,” Kara said, crossing her arms, prompting Maggie to continue about her ‘official business’. Maggie proceeded with showing them a surveillance footage of a Lena Luthor withdrawing Kryptonite from a safe. Lena furiously denied the accusation, called the footage “tampered” and begged for Kara’s trust with her eyes while Maggie slapped handcuffs on her wrist. When Kara pleaded Maggie to let Lena explain, Maggie had told Kara to “stay out of it!”

Maggie escorted Lena out of her own office, Kara’s eyes following her in shock and fear while Lena whispered, “It’s okay” to Kara.

Kara registered the fear in Lena’s eyes, it was the fear of the innocent. Because Lena looked scared of being framed, and Kara was determined to demand justice for her good friend.

When Lena was put on the cover of the magazine, Kara furiously protested to it only to be called out by her boss. “Who’s got confirmation bias now?”

“She told me on the record that she didn’t do it!” Kara defended.

“You’re going to need more than just a quote or else it’s just another conspiracy theory for Twitter!”

“Well I’m going to keep digging then!” Kara told him.

“Your gumption annoys me to no end. Well keep gumption-ing for _tomorrow’s_ cover!”

“Tomorrow?” Kara scoffed. “That’ll be too late; by then everyone will think she’s guilty!”

“Everyone already thinks she’s guilty _today_!”

Kara would not have any of that. She was not going to let her good friend be fed to the sharks. Kara trusted Lena; knew that Lena would not do what _everyone_ thought she did.

When even James sided with Snapper, Kara shook her head in disbelief; disbelief that she would be the only one in National City, probably the _world_ who still believed in Lena. That she was alone in trying to defend her integrity. Angry and upset, Kara stormed out of Snapper’s office, James chasing after her.

“Kara! Wait!”

“No! No! Are you kidding me? The only thing Lena’s done is _help_! She called the police on her own mother over the Medusa virus!”

“That’s exactly my point; if she can betray her own mother, what is it to stop her from pulling the long con on _you_?” James countered.

Kara scoffed. _Lena would never do that!_ Lena, the woman who sat on the couch, pouring her heart’s worry to Kara while hesitantly eating a doughnut. Lena, who chose _goodness_ over her Luthor name. Lena, who confided trustingly in Kara. Lena, whose eyes watered when Kara told her about her lost home. Lena, who told her that she wanted to be _good_. Lena was _not_ the monster the media had painted her to be. Lena was her friend and she was _good_.

“I know she’s your friend, Kara, but Lena is _bad_ news!” James told her.

“Why? Because she’s a Luthor?” Kara crossed her arms.

“No, because she’s _guilty_!” James said. “And if you don’t see that, I am going to prove it to you.”

James walked away, and Kara struggled to keep her anger at bay. To make matters more complicated, Eve came to tell Kara how terrible a date Mon-El was. “All he did was talk about you. The _entire_ date.”

Kara nearly snorted at that, hoping Eve was just pulling her leg. Realizing it was true, Kara groaned. She did not have time to deal with Mon-El’s lingering crush.

…

Guardian tried to intervene when Metallo freed Lena from her cell that night. Guardian had nothing on Metallo; the villain seemingly different from last time, more brutal, more _unstable._

He was hurt in his failed attempt to stop him, and Lena was brought away by Metallo.

“His Kryptonite isn’t right. I think it is hurting him.” James winced when Alex applied antiseptic on his open wound back at the D.E.O.

“You’re lucky you didn’t take a direct hit,” Alex told him, carefully treating the large wound on James’ shoulder. Kara approached him, observed the injury and agreed with Alex.

“I had my shield.” James told them with a smile. “I love that shield.” Winn grinned proudly.

Kara shot him a dirty glare. James sighed. “I know what I’m doing Kara.”

“Even though Metallo is weakening, he is still a fanatic follower of Lillian Luthor. We have to find out where he’s taken Lena,” Kara said, pacing around. “And help her!”

Alex turned to look at Kara. She had not seen her younger sister so worked up and worried in a long time. Alex briefly wondered what it was with Lena that got Kara so concerned over. As far as she was concerned, they only met in a few occasions, became friends but never quite gotten _close_. Unless there was something Kara was not telling her; which Alex tried to pretend it did not bother her.

“When are you going to realise that Lena is not the victim here? She’s got Kryptonite, and he broke her out of prison!” James told her angrily.

“Lena is _not_ a member of Cadmus!” Kara almost yelled at her best friend.

Alex snapped her gaze at Kara. _Yep, something was going on_.

Kara was _worked up_. Kara caught Alex’s stare. She couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it looked a lot like curiosity and a hint of…

Kara shook herself from the train of thought. “She’s not!” Kara insisted on Lena’s innocence.

When no one in the room spoke to agree with her, Kara was _cross_. “She stopped the gang with alien weapons! She saved _Alex’s_ life when Corben tried to kill her!” Kara looked at Alex, pleading her to back her up, to back _Lena_ up. Alex averted her gaze and finished patching James up. Kara scoffed, hurt at Alex’s nonchalance.

“She _shot_ Corben and then her crazy mum turned him into Metallo,” James said in distaste. “For all we know, that could’ve been the plan the entire time!”

Kara scoffed. No one was going to believe her, no one was going to believe _Lena_. She was frustrated. No one was supporting her _and_ Lena.

“Everything we’ve seen so far, says the exact opposite of Lena being innocent,” J’onn said almost apologetically.

“Well she’s my friend. And I believe in her!”

Kara went out for a breather. She was upset and worried. She needed their help if she was going to save Lena but right now, they did not seem very helpful.

Then, James just had to remind Kara of what happened between Lex and Clarke. Kara couldn’t believe this, James was _onto_ Lena and it was not fair! “Lena is not Lex,” Kara told him.

“But they grew up in the same house, Kara. I don’t understand why you keep defending her! And you have so much faith in her but none in me as Guardian.” At this point, James was sounding an awful lot like hurt and anger.

“That’s different; I was trying to protect you!”

“I do not need your protection! I need your trust. You have mine. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for me to get yours.”

…

When Winn managed to prove Lena’s innocence, Kara was overjoyed. When they detected Kryptonite signature on the map, Kara was all prepared to go and save Lena, this time with the D.E.O.’s backup.

“Wait,” Winn looked nervous. “There’s either something wrong with the signature or the source isn’t _pure_.”

Alex looked at the computer, frowning in confusion. “The ionizing signature is breaking down at an exponential rate,” she deduced.

 _That was worrisome, right?_ Kara looked between Winn and Alex then Alex and J’onn.

“If these numbers are right, it’s not just unstable… it’s going to blow,” Winn told them, fear flashed across his features.

“ _Blow_?” Kara parroted.

“Like go _nuclear_!”

Kara knew she had to save Lena, stat. ‘Blow’ sounded _deadly_. She was going with or without the anti-Kryptonite vest. Alex put a hand on her arm, debating whether to send Kara off or to persuade her to stay. Kara was torn when Alex begged her with her eyes but decided that Lena’s life mattered greatly to her.

Minutes after Kara’s departure, Alex and Winn paced around in anxiety, tracking Kara’s location and monitoring the progress of the synthetic Kryptonite.

“Its half-life is decreasing _exponentially_!” Winn told her, at the sound of warning alarm of the computer.

“Kara you have to turn back!” Alex said seriously. Kara knew that tone from Alex. It meant Alex was scared. But Kara needed to save Lena. Maybe if Kara could pull this off, she’d show Alex that she was capable and strong. Maybe if Kara could pull this off, then she would realise that Kara would go to _great length_ for the ones she cared about and that included Alex. “Kara, please. When the Kryptonite explodes, it is going to send out a radioactive cloud of Kryptonite gas. If you’re anywhere near it, it’ll _kill_ you!”

“Then I’ll make sure I’m not near it when it goes off!” Kara replied, a little smug at her witty rebuttal. She could imagine the eye roll Alex was sending her from the D.E.O.

“Kara! Please!” Kara couldn’t see it, but Alex sounded shaky, almost teary.

Too late, Kara had zoned in on the target location. When she crashed into Lex Luthor's mountain base, she saw a surprised Lena and a not-so-surprised Lillian.

“Supergirl! You’re here!” Lena exclaimed, struggling to free herself from Metallo’s grasp.

“Kara Danvers believes in you,” Kara felt that she needed Lena to know that.

“You’re just in time. I’ve been wondering if these worked,” Lillian said coolly holding up a sonic device and threw it at Kara, hurting the alien superhero. Kara groaned in pain, dropping to her knees as the device continued to emit ultrasound.

“Supergirl?” Alex called into the earpiece.

“Don’t hurt her!” Lena yelled, sprinting towards Kara only to be stopped by Cyborg Superman and Metallo.

Lillian did not care for what Lena had to say in this. Lillian did not even bother saving Lena; Lillian had no problem in letting Cyborg Superman fling her across the room, rendering Lena unconscious on the ground; Lillian, after realising that the situation had turned dangerous, fled with Cyborg Superman. Kara was left to fend off against Metallo, Winn yelling in her earpiece, “The more Metallo uses the Kryptonite, the fastest it decays!”

Kara was thrown around, Metallo mercilessly blasting synthetic Green Kryptonite at her. J’onn came to her rescue, buying her some time to get Lena and herself out of the vicinity.

“Supergirl get out of there!” Winn said, panic in his voice.

“Kara, please!” Kara heard Alex’s distressed voice next, unbeknownst to her, the older sister had shed tears of worry as she begged Kara to save herself.

The two agents heard a blast of explosion and both yelled Kara’s name in worry, fearing for the worst. But Kara swore she was going to show Alex that she was great, promised that she would save Lena and prove her innocence, vowed to herself that she would _always_ be by Alex’s side, to protect and love her.

J’onn and Kara flew fast, an unconscious Lena in Kara’s arms. When they returned to the D.E.O., Kara put Lena in the treatment bay and Alex flung her arms around the wounded Kryptonian, hugging her closely and sobbing into Kara’s shoulder. “Hey, Alex, I’m okay,” Kara whispered, surprised at the sudden hug. “I’m fine, see?” she stroked Alex’s back. Alex shook with relieved close-call-panic, with worried tears and pure love. Alex squeezed Kara tighter because Kara made it out _alive._

“ _Don’t_ do that ever again!” Alex scolded Kara, her words muffled partially by her own teary sobs and Kara’s exposed neck against her lips. “Promise me! I was so afraid I will never see you again!”

Kara smiled softly. “Silly. I’m Supergirl,” Kara said. She shuddered when Alex exhaled a sob against her skin, Alex’s warm breath tickling her skin, Alex’s hot tears spilling on her. Kara could stay like this forever, could hold Alex in her arms and whisper words of reassurance to Alex, could relish in the love Alex showered her with. Alex had apologised for not believing in Kara’s judgement, in not believing in Lena. Kara smilingly hugged her sister closely, appreciating her apology.

Alex clung to Kara for a whole other minute; the younger sister pushed aside that ache at her lower left quadrant where Metallo had shot her with Kryptonite, pushed aside the sore in her limbs after a whole night of action and a close-call, pushed aside all the pain, and focused on the feeling of Alex in her arms, of Alex hugging her close, of Alex not letting go.

…

James admitted that he was wrong about Lena Luthor and apologised to Kara. “You were just trying to protect me,” Kara gracefully accepted James’ apology on wronging her.

“Like you were trying to protect me,” James smiled, giving Kara a friendly punch to her arm, referring to the Guardian issue.

They agreed to “stop trying to protect each other and go back to being friends” because Kara missed being friends with James. They sealed the deal with a friendly embrace and a game night was scheduled for tomorrow. Kara looked forward to it.

Kara was glad when even Snapper said that Lena was innocent (“Yesterday, she was guilty. Today, she’s innocent!”). When Kara visited Lena the next evening, Lena smiled after reading the article Kara wrote on her.

“I only wrote the truth. I’ve learnt to keep digging, even when all the evidence points one way; there’s always another side.”

“Oh, but sometimes it’s hard to find,” Lena said, her tone a whisper. Of fear that Kara might one day just _give up_ on her. Of fear that Kara might one day realise that she could not handle her. Of fear that she might cause Kara pain.

“ _Especially_ when it’s hard to find.” Kara’s eyes shone of sincerity, an adamant look on her face. Lena smiled softly, blushing at Kara’s unwavering gaze on her. “So… my office is overflowing with flowers,” Kara said, laughing quietly.

“ _Really_?” Lena asked, feigning innocence.

Kara blushed. Lena was too sweet. She had come back to her cubicle, a decked-out desk awaiting her. “Gift from Lena Luthor,” she was informed.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Lena’s grin turned serious. “Yeah. I did.” The CEO smiled softly, regarding Kara earnestly and affectionately. “Supergirl told me that it was Kara Danvers who sent her. I… I didn’t know how to thank you.”

Kara chuckled. “Well, that’s what friends are for.” She gave Lena a bright smile, to which Lena swooned a little and then broke a little.

“I’ve never had friends like you before,” Lena said, sadly but gratefully. “Come to think of it, I’ve never had _family_ like you.”

Kara blushed, averting her gaze. Lena was intriguing in moments of her vulnerability. She had such a piercing gaze, that mysterious half-smile, the low voice, the way her jaw worked as she thought of her next words.

“No one had ever stood up for me like that.”

“Well, now you have someone who will stand up for you. Always,” Kara said, chancing a glance at the dark-haired beauty. Lena smiled gratefully at her.

“Supergirl might have saved me,” Lena said with a smirk. “But you, Kara Danvers, are my hero.” The tone was playful but sincere. It made Kara smile happily. When they hugged, Lena breathed Kara in, savouring the feel of Kara’s body against hers. Kara made Lena feel things; things like safety, comfort, warmth and delight. But Lena also knew that all she was to Kara was a friend. A good one, probably a close friend at best by now, but that was all Lena was going to be because Kara was too good to love someone like her. But Lena was not going to give up trying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based very loosely on 2x13.  
> It's a bit of Supercorp (a bit?), and pre-V-day, and V-day, and post-V-day.  
> There's Mxyzptlk, there's Mon-El.  
> There's Alex, there's Lena, there's Maggie.  
> There's Kara. There's always Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonnes of non-canon scenes but hey, didn't mess with the plot that badly (spare me please). Lena is kind of non-Canon compliant here but I will (try to) make her stick to the plot. 
> 
> I experimented with Supercorp texting and Kara's libido.  
> I have Mxyzptlk on my clipboard the entire time because there is no way I can spell Mxyzptlk without [ctrl]+[v]-ing.
> 
> Text messages are aligned left and right for their respective senders. I thought the flow would give it a more 'instant messaging' kind of feel. Hope it's alright. 
> 
>    
> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

A few nights later, Lena Luthor sat in her chair and tore her gaze from the view of National City: Night Mode. She tore her gaze from CatCo’s dominating building, recognising the floor which housed a certain blonde with dark-rimmed glasses and a heart of gold. She glanced down at her mobile phone screen which flashed when she received a new text message.

A text from Kara that read:

‘So much to write, so little time!’ followed by an emoji of a fish and a crying face.

Lena chuckled under her breath.

‘I have faith that you’ll be brilliant. Can’t wait to read your article tomorrow.’

Lena allowed herself to appreciate the skyline (CatCo’s building, 31st floor, that window sixth from the left).

‘You can’t wait to read about the reasons behind overpriced Norwegian salmon?’

Lena giggled, into her knuckles. She didn’t like Norwegian salmon all that much. But she did like Kara’s work.

‘Anything you write, actually.’

‘I wish there are more interesting things I can write about!’

‘Yeah? Like what?’

‘Bank robberies, missing Aliens! I’d even take exposing an illegal drug ring anytime. I need some action, kick some asses!’

“Shit! Shit, no!” Kara gasped, realising that she might just let slip her identity to Lena, two seconds after sending the message. What was she thinking? Lena was a genius, she’d _know_.

 _Why can’t I delete this message?_ Kara groaned when said option was not available.

‘Kick some asses? Isn’t that Supergirl’s job? Not that I don’t believe that you can kick ass, per se, but I really prefer you safe and not getting thrown around by some alien-gone-wild. Or shot at by some notorious ring leader.’

Kara was positive she was panicking now.

‘Of course, it’s Supergirl’s job! I’m her faithful supporter, reporting all her victorious missions and amazing personality!’

Lena chuckled as she read the message while Kara cringed at her own text.

She groaned again, smashing her head on the computer keyboard, effectively destroying it. Horrified and flabbergasted, she stared at the broken keyboard. _How am I going to finish this article with no keyboard?_

She looked around but her fellow colleagues looked busy typing away. The good thing was that none of them realise the breakage, the bad thing was that she couldn’t borrow their computers to resume her article. Kara felt like crying. She stared down at her cell phone when Lena’s message came in:

‘Of course, Kara. I wish you all the best in completing the article. I’ll definitely read it. I do care about overpriced Norwegian salmon you know?’

Lena added a winking emoji just for fun.

‘Thank you Lena. I really need it.’

‘Any time. Good night Kara.’

‘Good night Lena.’

…

Alex was surprised to receive a text message from Kara. It was rare that she could get an early night, being a D.E.O. agent and whatnot. But when National City steered clear of all things extranormal for the past week or so, J’onn let Alex go early. That was how she found herself with a book in bed and a glass of scotch on the nightstand.

‘Can I please borrow your laptop?’

‘Why do you sound like you’re in middle school and forgot that your project’s deadline is tomorrow?’

‘I broke my keyboard at work. And I don’t have a laptop.’

 _And I just want to see you._ Kara left the last sentence out, replacing it with a sad emoji instead.

‘I feel sorry for CatCo. Keyboards aren’t cheap you know?’

Alex’s joke was not lost on Kara. Kara could picture Alex and her teasing grin, the mischief in her eyes.

‘Please?’

‘Come over.’

‘Love you!’

Kara submitted her article via e-mail shortly past midnight. She knew she could’ve finished it earlier but being in the same room with Alex was somewhat distracting. Alex who looked serene, reading in her bed. Two cups of hot tea and a box of Danish cookies, courtesy of Alex, later, Kara sent the article and received Snapper’s approval ten minutes later.

“I am so sleepy Alex…” Kara whined, stretching in the chair after she switched Alex’s laptop off. The thought of flying home in her current state was not very tempting.

“Now, now, we can’t have a sleepy Kryptonian manoeuvring the air traffic now, can we?” Alex joked, closing her book and placing it on the nightstand. Kara pouted, and Alex smiled. “Teeth, then get in,” Alex instructed, patting the right side of her bed. Kara lit up with a smile. She should break her keyboard more often. The risk of getting fired for the number of keyboards she’d break seemed to be worth getting to sleepover at Alex’s on a weeknight.

Kara dutifully brushed her teeth with the extra set of toothbrushes she always kept at Alex’s. Alex was already half-asleep when Kara crawled into bed. “Good night Alex,” she whispered.

Alex hummed. Kara fell asleep with a smile on her face, loving the warmth Alex’s body radiated next to her.

Kara woke up around 4 am to the sweet scent of Alex’s shampoo as the older sister had comfortably snuggled up to Kara. Kara looked down at the top of Alex’s head of dark red hair. She was painfully aware that Alex had wrapped her arms around her waist, their bodies flushed together as a result. She was painfully aware that Alex had slipped a thigh between her own, painfully aware that she was increasingly aroused by the second, painfully aware that Alex might very well _feel_ her wetness if she had not already felt her heat. Kara was painfully aware that she was blushing furiously, painfully aware that the soft moan that escaped Alex’s mouth did nothing to relieve her _arousal_ when Kara attempted to remove herself from their compromising position.

Kara finally managed to untangle herself from Alex (reluctantly but Kara knew she had to). Knowing that there was _no_ way she could go back to sleep when she was _this_ excited, Kara sighed as she stepped into the shower. She made sure the water was cold, freezing if possible. She was disappointed that she was not affected by the near 12°C stream of water flowing from the shower. She stood underneath nonetheless, feeling her hair soak slowly, feeling the water trickle down her arms, legs and torso.

Nervously, Kara stared at her trembling hands. Clenching her eyes shut, Kara slipped her hand between her thighs. Yes, Kara Danvers was painfully aware that she was sexually frustrated, hotly aroused and in need of release.

Kara shivered when her thumb brushed her clit, whimpered quietly when she inserted a finger into herself, bit her lip as she pumped slowly, cried out softly when she came, knees weakened, body flushed. Kara withdrew her hand from between her thighs. She was still shaking from her orgasm, hands unsteady as she reached for the tap and turned off the shower. Kara slumped onto the ground, hygiene forgotten; she was insusceptible anyway. When she had calmed down from her high, Kara found herself crying fat drops of tears. It was at least half an hour before she composed herself, rinsed herself thoroughly because Alex would berate her if she found out that Kara was lazy in the shower.

At 5 am, Kara donned a white bathing robe she was certain belonged to Alex because it smelled so good. An hour later, Alex woke up to the smell of pancakes and freshly-brewed coffee.

“Someone’s up early. Slept well?” Alex asked, stretching as she entered the kitchen. Kara tried not to stare too hard at the exposed skin of Alex’s abdomen, the stretch of abs, the small scar on her right iliac fossa.

“Decently,” Kara muttered, tearing her gaze away from the display of skin and flashed Alex a smile. “You?”

Alex hummed with a smile. Kara passed her a cup of coffee to which Alex sipped and complimented. “What time do you have to leave for work?”

Kara glanced at the wall clock which read ‘6.10 am’. “Before 8; I plan to swing by the store to get a replacement keyboard first.”

“Covering up tracks, I see,” Alex teased. “Smart.” She winked at Kara and the younger sister blushed softly. Alex put down the empty cup and sat down at the island. Kara served her three pieces of pancake and doused it in honey, the way Alex liked it. Alex thanked Kara with a bright grin. They ate in companionable silence (Kara finished the eleven pieces of pancake she put on her plate faster than Alex finished her three). Kara had avoided Alex’s gaze most of the time, only rewarding herself with the sight of Alex’s teasing grin when Kara had told her that the constant buzzing on her phone might just be Lena Luthor leaving her text messages.

“Lena, huh?” Alex’s tone was part-teasing, part-curious. “Friend or more?”

Kara bristled. _That was direct of you._ She shook her head. “Friend. She’s a very nice person and she’s a very good friend.”

“Just asking,” Alex grinned. “You seemed… _worked up_ when she was kidnapped by Cadmus.” The older sister was leaning forward, elbows on the table, chin on her knuckles.

“Of course I’d be worked up. She’s my friend,” Kara countered snappily. She shook her head when Alex refused to wipe the smirk from her face.

“If you say so,” Alex teased with a shrug.

“Why do you always do that?” Kara whined, shoulders slumped.

“Do what?” Alex feigned innocence.

“Imply that I like other people when I clearly—

_Like you._

“Don’t.” Kara finished, cheeks blushed crimson betraying the scowl on her face.

“Only that I didn’t, baby sister.” Alex smirked and gave Kara a quick kiss on her forehead before walking towards the bathroom to clean up.

Kara blushed furiously, a little out of anger, and a lot from the kiss Alex gave her. She changed into a sundress she always left as a spare in Alex’s apartment and sat on the couch, replying Lena’s text:

‘Are Norwegian salmons really overpriced?’

‘They are considering the current news about them. Sea lice.’

‘Do you think Supergirl is loaded? Need her to chip in for the roof repairs.’

‘I can ask her for you. But really Lena? Roof repair costs have nothing on you, let’s be honest.’

‘It’s nice to share the burden.’

‘Supergirl isn’t loaded.’

‘She should be, the work she’s done. She should receive some form of salary from the country.’

‘I’m sure she appreciates your sentiment.’

‘She should.’

‘I don’t think Supergirl is a wealth kind of girl. You feel me?’

‘Who knows? She might own a ridiculously expensive penthouse under a ‘Sally Brown’.’

‘You’re funny Lena Luthor.’

‘I know.’

‘Reckon Supergirl can help me track my lost order? It’s an electron microscope from Germany. New tech, and I love new tech. What do you think?’

‘Maybe. And maybe, I can write an article about that. The Curious Case of the Missing Microscope.’

‘You’re funny Kara Danvers.’

‘I know.’

‘Of course you do.’

‘I have to go now. Talk to you later?’

‘Lunch, my treat?’

When Kara did not reply, Lena worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

‘Or next time?’

‘See you later Lena. My break is at 1 today though.’

‘I’ll come pick you up.’

Alex emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, hair wet from her shower and towel wrapped tightly around her body. Kara actively avoided looking at Alex as the older woman paced around her apartment to get ready for work. For some reasons, Alex decided that she would put on her uniform _last_.

They walked down the street together, Kara sending Alex off once they reached the D.E.O. building. “Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the question about Lena. I know it’s um… _complicated_ between you and Mon-El right now and I didn’t mean to add stress to what you two have. I guess I am just a little… concerned about your closeness to Lena. That look in your face, when the world was against Lena, it was… different and,” Alex looked down, chuckling softly and soft blush across her cheeks prominent. “I think I might be a little jealous that I wasn’t the only one receiving it.” Alex sighed and looked back at Kara. Kara gulped, her brain still trying to process Alex’s admission. _Alex is jealous?_ Kara’s heart skipped a beat, in unexplained excitement. Before Kara could say anything, Alex gave her a tight smile and spun on her heels, walking into the D.E.O. building and Kara was left, speechless and oddly pleased.

Kara made sure to drop by the store to buy a computer keyboard. She nearly balked at the price of it, but she had no choice.

…

Kara genuinely liked spending time with Lena; the woman was funny when she was not passionate about her work and company, she was thoughtful and inquisitive, had a _very_ charming smile too, Kara noticed when Lena smiled at the waiter who came to ask if they wanted anything else.

“So, I thought I’d just bring this up,” Kara said, chuckling nervously. Lena regarded her curiously, sipping on her tea. “My sister, Alex, she’s… a little… well… she uh, she thinks you have a thing for me. And I just wanted to make sure that… you don’t get offended. Because that’ll be really bad, and I don’t want to ruin this dynamic that we have because I really like you as my friend.”

Lena inhaled sharply. _Wow._ The young CEO afforded a small smile. “It’s fine.”

“Great!” Kara breathed. “I told Alex that we’re just friends; that you don’t have any _feelings_ for me—wait, you don’t, right?” She laughed.

Lena shook her head quietly.

“Great,” Kara said again and grinned widely at her. “Just to clarify things.” She chewed happily on her food and Lena suddenly lost all her appetite.

…

February 13th, Mon-El visited Kara and Kara did not know how to hurt the Daxamite another time. He had been so good to her, he still loved her after all the _hurting_ she had done to him, and he was _here_. But he was not Alex.

Mon-El was handsome in his boyish charm, swift with his humour, likeable in his easy-going nature. Kara had told herself before that it would be _so_ easy to love him. But he was not Alex.

Mon-El looked at her with such softness in his eyes, like he was trying to make Kara understand that she meant the whole world to him. Kara couldn’t because he didn’t mean the whole world to her, and he just _wasn’t_ Alex.

Then Kara remembered Alex; how Alex told her that she should give Mon-El a shot. Then Kara found herself spilling all these _words_. Words like, “I can be strong and stand my ground, when I’m protecting someone else. But when that someone is me… it’s a lot harder… because I don’t like being vulnerable. We’re _really_ different. At first, I thought you were thoughtless and selfish… and I kept writing you off and you kept proving me wrong. And it just got me thinking… maybe... I should give _us_ a shot…”

Mon-El looked at her with renewed hope in his eyes. Kara braved herself to hold that gaze. She _could_ give this a shot. She _could_ because Alex had Maggie and Alex was _happy_ with _Maggie_. And Alex wanted Kara to be happy too, and Alex told her that Mon-El was worth a shot. It broke Kara, to push the thought of Alex out of her head, to look into Mon-El’s eyes and take in the hues of his iris; dark, beautiful just like…

 _Alex_.

Except he wasn’t.

Kara decided maybe she could _try_. Mon-El deserved at least _that_. Besides, Mon-El was a promise of stability and normalcy, of romantic gestures, of date nights and introduction to colleagues.

The kiss almost happened but was interrupted when Mxyzptlk, the inter-dimensional man with the foreign accent and neat suit, made his dramatic appearance and proposed to Kara in the most outrageous fashion. Kara, flabbergasted, rejected his proposal and Mxyzptlk promised to wow her with “breath-taking feats of ardour”, to “make her fall in love” with him. And Mxyzptlk vanished into the shower of glitter the way he entered.

Just when Kara thought things could not get any more confusing.

 …

February 14th, Valentine’s Day this year felt unusual to Kara. For as long as she could remember, Valentine’s Day had always been the day that Kara would crush particularly hard on Alex, curse particularly cruelly at whoever who was so lucky to win a date with her sister; she would look forward to the night the most because that was when Alex would return home from her date and sit on Kara’s bed, telling her about how nasty the boy’s breath smelled when they kissed, how inappropriate the boy had behaved throughout dinner, how inconsiderate the boy was in the cinema. And Kara would tell Alex that she “did not deserve those losers” to which Alex would giggle and said, “if only they can be as amazing as you”. And Kara’s heart would flutter, cheeks would blaze, stomach meet butterflies; all the clichés of love and Kara would smile because she was very much _in love._

But this year, Valentine’s Day felt odd because Alex was going to spend it with Maggie and it was damn near impossible that Alex would come complaining to Alex about how nasty Maggie’s breath smelled, how inappropriate or inconsiderate Maggie was, because unlike all those boys from before, Alex was in love with Maggie. And this was Alex’s first Valentine’s Day with someone she was in love with, her first Valentine’s Day ever since leaving high school.

When Alex dropped by that evening, Kara thought she was dreaming. Kara was on her way up to her apartment when Alex called her from down the street. Alex was in her trademark leather jacket, black tank and tights, and instead of her usual grin, Alex seemed sad. When Kara told her that she and Mon-El were dating (just to gauge her reaction), Alex gave her a small smile. When Kara proceeded to tell Alex that she could not handle Mon-El’s grudge against Mxyzptlk, Alex had casually suggested that maybe Mon-El was jealous of him. Kara scoffed, rolling her eyes at Alex, at the notion. Alex scowled, a familiarly unfamiliar feeling gnawing her as she looked at Kara.

“Mon-El? Jealous of Mxyzptlk? No. That would be crazy!” Kara said.

When they opened the door to Kara’s apartment, decorated with bouquets of red roses and an array of Valentine’s Day chocolates, Alex felt the gnawing feeling intensify. _Mxyzptlk._

When Kara suggested that Alex should take one of those bouquets to Maggie, not wanting to waste those precious flowers, Alex told her about how Maggie hated Valentine’s Day and called it a “ridiculous notion, to need a manufactured holiday to prove that you care” and that it made her want to puke, ending her criticism with a passionately delivered statement: “I hate Valentine’s Day!”.

Kara thought Valentine’s Day might be quite the same after all. Except Alex didn’t wish that Maggie could be as amazing as Kara; Alex seemed disheartened that Maggie did not want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Alex’s pout broke Kara’s heart. But Alex had requested for advice about Maggie’s dislike towards the celebration; so Kara decided that she needed to be supportive and maybe a tad more positive.

“It’s kind of a bummer, I know… but after _so_ many Valentine’s Day alone… I was just finally excited to be in a relationship where we could celebrate all the cheesy stuff couples celebrate…” Alex said.

“That doesn’t sound silly at all,” Kara tried convincing Alex that Maggie didn’t _really_ hate Valentine’s Day, told Alex to personalise Valentine’s Day for Maggie, asked her about what Maggie liked; Kara tried to _help_ Alex reinvent Valentine’s Day for the both of them; Kara tried to help Alex with Maggie _without_ breaking her own heart too much. But watching Alex light up as she rambled about the things Maggie liked, like guns, scotch, tiramisu (she could eat it for hours) and bonsai trees; watching Alex blush when she shyly admitted that she found Maggie’s liking for bonsai trees adorable; Kara ignored the breaking of her own heart, ignored how much she wished it was her Alex was gushing about, ignored how much she _wanted_ Alex. For now, Kara just had to be contented with being Alex’s V-Day Guru; she had to be the younger sister Alex always turned to, bad Valentine’s Day or otherwise.

Alex’s soft “Thanks Kara,” told her that Kara needed to push aside her hurt and swallow it together with the red wine was sharing with her. So, Kara did. She swallowed hard; tears, feelings, wants and wine.

…

Kara had other matters to attend to. Kara hated, absolutely _hated_ dealing with Mxyzptlk and Mon-El. She hated the bickering she had to do with Mon-El (weren’t they supposed to be together or something?), she hated when Mon-El called her out for being “not a good judge of what you can handle”. Kara could _handle_ things. Mon-El did not know how much _things_ she could handle. Kara seethed.

“You are so hard on me, Kara!” Mon-El whined.

Kara hated to think that she was projecting a certain _someone_ onto Mon-El. More arguments ensued. Kara had off-handedly suggested that it was a mistake between them. She hoped that Mon-El could _really_ see how it _really_ was a mistake between them. But Mon-El was not one to give up easily, changed Daxamite and whatnot.

…

Maggie was surprised but not pleasantly so by Alex’s ‘Valentine’s Day Reinvented’ that night. Alex had put a tiramisu cake and a bottle of scotch on the table, put on the sexiest petite nightgown she owned and put on Maggie’s favourite music. All Alex wanted to do was to celebrate Valentine’s Day with Maggie but Maggie had told her off.

“I told you I hate Valentine’s Day. What part of that got lost in translation? I have one pet peeve Danvers,” Maggie had used her last name. Alex winced in hurt but Maggie was angry and Maggie continued to _be_ angry at Alex. “And that’s not being heard.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” Alex tried. She had never seen Maggie this angry before and it scared her.

When Maggie brushed her off, a storm off under way, Alex stopped her. Alex made her talk about it, told her that “this was a relationship” and that she should not push her feelings down.

When Maggie told her the truth of her parents’ reaction of her coming out, of Elisa Wilkie, the first girl she loved, of the romantic gesture she attempted when she was 14 for her, of how the card she put in Elisa’s locker was used to out her to her parents, of how her father kicked her out, of how she had to live with her aunt for 3 years, of how she _hated_ Valentine’s Day.

“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” Alex asked softly, approaching her girlfriend apologetically.

“I didn’t want to scare you. I wanted it to be better for you…” Maggie admitted. Then Maggie walked away. She walked away because the whole Valentine’s Day vibe around her was bringing back too much bitter memories. She walked away because she couldn’t give Alex what she wanted. She walked away because Alex was looking at her, sympathising her, and Maggie was on the brink of tears.

…

Kara sent Mxyzptlk back to where he came from, with wits and trickery, and a lot of help from her friends. When Myzptlk admitted sadly that he just wanted someone to love him, Kara’s heart reached out to him.

“You can’t force love, Mxyzptlk… You have to let it find you…” Kara whispered sadly in reply. Mxyzptlk nodded and vanished.

She was utterly exhausted when she returned to her apartment, way past midnight. It didn’t stop her from thinking about Alex though. It didn’t stop her from reflecting how true her own advice to Mxyzptlk was. It didn’t stop her from fishing out her phone and read the first text. One from Lena.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Kara Danvers! May you be with those you love and those who love you.’

‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Lena!’

Then Kara proceeded to text Alex.

‘Did Maggie like it?’

When Alex did not reply, Kara flew to her apartment and peeked in from the balcony. She wouldn’t want to barge in and disturb what could possibly be ‘sexy-times’ for her sister and Maggie. So, when Kara saw a tear-stained Alex, nursing herself with a glass of red wine on her bed, staring blankly at her cell phone, Kara was surprised and when she figured that Maggie had certainly _not liked_ it, Kara felt angry at the detective.

Kara debated if she should go in and comfort Alex or if she should let Alex recover on her own terms.

‘She didn’t. I am going to bed now. You should too. Happy Valentine’s Day, Kara.’

The text decided for Kara. She stared sadly through the window at her sister, setting her wine glass aside and pulling her sheets up.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Alex.” Kara whispered into the air.

…

Mon-El apologised to Kara the next morning; he admitted that he was indeed jealous of Mxyzptlk, that he was insecure around the flamboyant and powerful man. He begged Kara to give her a chance, to _not_ marry Mxyzptlk.

“I promise I’ll be better!”

“It’s not just the jealousy thing, Mon-El. It’s the whole ego, the whole patronizing thing!”

“I’m sorry. For acting like an ass,” Mon-El said. “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I realise that you are my Kryptonite.”

Kara chuckled. “Me?”

“My feelings for you. I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. I didn’t know that there were this many feelings to even _be_ had. My emotions… they made me go kind of crazy.”

Kara nodded empathetically. _Poor child. You’ll get used to it, trust me, I know._

“I’m just really glad you’re okay. I’m just really happy that you didn’t marry that guy.”

_Me too._

And just like that Kara’s heart softened, her resolve to be assertive faded, and she accepted Mon-El’s apology. The apology included a madly fervent kiss, a lot of making out and before she knew it, she was pushing Mon-El off her and reminding him that they had to report to the D.E.O. in twenty minutes.

Kara was surprised when Maggie dropped by the D.E.O., catching Kara on her way in. Maggie asked if she had seen Alex and confessed that she felt terribly guilty for being an asshole of a girlfriend to Alex last night. Kara masked her anger easily and went on to be the best sister award.

“Look, I know Valentine’s Day might not be happy for you, but it means something for Alex,” Kara told her. “To spend a romantic holiday with someone she cares about,” she added. “Alex really loves you, Maggie. She hasn’t loved anyone like that before. So maybe you might want to consider making some changes for her?”

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. Because Alex Danvers was worth it. And Maggie knew if she did not let go of her past, she might just miss out on her present.

Kara swallowed down the pain in her heart; she felt sad for Maggie for not realizing what a jewel Alex was, going out of her way to celebrate that special day with her, being so damn gentle and committed, for loving her so deeply. She felt sad because she would give everything to be in Maggie’s place. Because Alex Danvers was worth it. When the pain became too unbearable, Kara excused herself. The more she looked at Maggie, the more she saw how much Maggie loved Alex too.

Maggie had taken Kara’s advice. Maggie had given Alex a Valentine’s Day to remember. Maggie had apologised to Alex for her inconsideration. Maggie had attempted the grandest of romantic gesture, Alex thought; Maggie put on Alex’s favourite music, lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor, table and bed, _made_ _pizza_ and poured out two glasses of red wine.

When Maggie held her hands and said, “You deserve all of this as a girl; the pomp and the fuss, and you deserve an amazing romance with the woman who’s _absolutely_ crazy about you,”, Alex smiled behind her tears.

“Don’t you hate all of this?” Alex asked, holding Maggie’s hands.

“Alex, you’re the one woman that could make me like Valentine’s Day,” Maggie smiled, dimples pronounced and leaned in to kiss Alex deeply. “And I might have received some tough love from a certain blonde.”

Alex grinned at the indirect mention of Kara. Gosh, she loved her sister. Alex allowed Maggie to clutch her hand, spin her around and lead the dance. She loved this post-Valentine’s Day celebration. She loved her beautiful girlfriend, she loved the way her body was pressed warmly against hers, she loved how Maggie kissed her gently, she loved how Maggie made love to her. And at the back of her mind, mid-orgasm, Alex reminded herself to thank Kara for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder to self: You tagged Canon Compliant for this story.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on 2x14 and 2x15.  
> Jeremiah's back. Then he is not. Then he is again (sorta). And then he isn't (ugh, Cadmus, ugh!).  
> Family drama (starring Mon-El). Alex and Kara fight and it hurts them both.  
> Lena falls off a building and Kara catches her (iconic).  
> Hoshin frigate scenes.  
> Alex sends a photo and Kara swoons.  
> Kara gets fired (but Snapper likes her, sorta).  
> Oh, Kara gives her relationship with Mon-El another blind leap of faith (girl needs to heal, and girl needs to be Canon Compliant, maybe, sorta, kinda).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time. Preparing for an upcoming exam. Chapter 9 will be on hold (it's written, just unchecked).  
> Cheers!

Mon-El announced their relationship to the world, well to  _ Kara’s  _ world, those she cared so much about. Winn, Alex and J’onn watched, slightly amused, slightly impressed by the Daxamite’s openness. J’onn told a very embarrassed Kara that she needed to report to Human Resources and “fill out the forms Pam gave her in triplicate” because she was “dating a co-worker” and Alex added to her embarrassment, telling her that she would need to attend a mandatory sexual harassment seminar. The subtle wink-and-smirk combo which Alex threw in her direction was teasing to put mildly. Kara turned red as a tomato.

“I am guessing it’s going to be a rough sparring session for me?” Mon-El said it more like a statement than a question. 

“You think?” Kara sent him away with a glare.

The Daxamite could not get out of Kara’s sight quick enough while Kara got distracted by news of Cadmus out and about. 

…

Following the chase and the apprehension of two Cadmus trucks, Jeremiah Danvers returned from his apparent death to an overjoyed Alex and Eliza. He provided the D.E.O. intel on Cadmus’s latest project. Winn wasted no time in devising an algorithm to track Cadmus’s nuclear weapon down. 

The family reunion dinner was a down-played occasion; just a humble dinner celebrating Jeremiah’s return, filled with laughter and conversation. Jeremiah met Maggie, who Alex nervously introduced to Jeremiah. “Huh, things have changed. There is no man on Earth good enough for my Alex; so, it would have to be someone like you,” Jeremiah said good-naturedly. “Alex deserves the best.” He gave Maggie an approving nod, to which the lovestruck couple smiled in gratitude.

Kara stole a glance at the interaction between the two women and Jeremiah, felt her heart drop a little, felt her grip on the edge of the table tighten a little.

“You’re right. Alex deserves the best,” Maggie told Jeremiah smilingly and passed him her house gift, a bottle of tequila. 

Kara winced slightly when Jeremiah proudly called Maggie “family” before pulling her into a friendly hug. But Kara saw the look on Alex’s face, the one of happiness, the ‘crazy happy’ kind that made Alex tremble slightly, the kind that made her sigh in relief at her father’s acceptance towards her girlfriend. Kara saw it and it and no matter how difficult it was to watch, to burn in her own envy, Kara could not look away from Alex; because Alex looked magnificent, glowing in her pride and happiness, in Jeremiah’s acceptance, in Maggie’s love; because Alex looked absolutely perfect and perfectly unaware of Kara’s feelings towards her. So, Kara watched quietly with a sad smile on her face. 

When Mon-El arrived, Kara thought things would get easier. She would have to focus less on Alex and Maggie, and more on Mon-El. But Mon-El had dragged her to the living room where Alex and Maggie sat on the couch chatting. Mon-El had wrapped his arms around her while they joined the conversation graciously. Mon-El had been incredibly sweet to her, holding her close to him the whole time and Kara felt disgusted by herself because all she could care and think about was how much she wanted those arms around her shoulders to be Alex’s, how much she wished it was Alex’s lips against hers when Mon-El unceremoniously planted one on Kara mid-conversation; Kara wished so much that she didn’t have to pretend that it didn’t hurt her when Maggie’s hand was in Alex’s the whole time, fingers interlaced and glances exchanged. 

They talked about their work (because fighting villains and protecting the city was a common topic and something they  _ all  _ loved doing), they talked about Eliza’s glazed carrots, the smell of caramel deliciously filled the air around the them, they talked about the possibility of having a double date, much to Kara’s horror. 

Dinner went well, with J’onn as an addition, and Eliza’s out-of-the-world margarita-making skills. Dinner went well with Jeremiah’s heartfelt speech of gratitude to J’onn and his promise to “work with all of you, to make the planet safer” with the insights he had on Cadmus. Dinner went well with J’onn welcoming Jeremiah back to the D.E.O. with open arms.

And then dinner went spectacularly downhill when Mon-El brought up his concern and speculations on Jeremiah’s true intentions and the true story of his ‘escape’. Alex’s eyes flared in fury when Mon-El implied that Jeremiah had ulterior motives. Kara was speechless with distraught at Mon-El’s behaviour, his inappropriate expression of suspicion towards Jeremiah. Things got heated when Mon-El called J’onn out for being reckless with security, that he would “let Jeremiah back to the D.E.O. with full access with no background checks for your old soldier buddy”. 

“You know what, you need to  _ back off _ !” Alex glared at Mon-El, the anger in her eyes clear to everyone in the room  _ but  _ Mon-El. Kara knew this would not end well so she quickly steered him away from the group and into the guest room. When Mon-El refused to be apologetic for his disrespect, Kara told him to leave her home. That got Mon-El worried. Kara told him that he had been inconsiderate, ignoring her need for privacy, time and for refusing to give Jeremiah the benefit of doubt. 

Mon-El begged her for another chance, saying, “That’s two strikes on me now, let’s just let it go and go back to dinner with your family.”

Kara could not believe that Mon-El just said that. Angry, Kara told Mon-El that she was not baseball and that she couldn’t forgive Mon-El until he learnt to respect her opinions and views. 

“And until you learn that,  _ this _ ,” she gestured between them. “This isn’t going to work.”

Kara left the room while Mon-El left the apartment.

…

When Winn and Mon-El told Kara that Jeremiah’s been snooping around the D.E.O.’s mainframe, trying to break into it, Kara looked for answers from Jeremiah himself. 

Jeremiah claimed that he was only trying to review old case files from the past 24 months, to get to know what the noble works and great adventures his daughters had been on, to get to feel like he was part of it all. 

When Alex heard of the informal interrogation, she was furious. 

“You two are unbelievable, but  _ you _ ,” she scolded Winn and Mon-El before turning to Kara. “You are something else.” 

Kara was upset at herself that she had conflicting thoughts about Jeremiah, but more so, Kara was upset at herself when Alex had glared at her, the undisguised hurt in her eyes when she scolded her.

The way Alex spat those words and led Jeremiah away from the group, the way Alex refused to meet Kara’s gaze not even for a second after she said those words, the way Alex sounded so  _ wounded _ by Kara’s distrust for their father; Kara had never felt so upset at herself before. Not like this. And Kara wondered sadly if Alex had ever felt so upset at her before. 

Kara tried to apologise to Alex  _ much  _ later that day, knowing very well not to aggravate the situation by approaching the woman in her fresh anger. When Alex refused to talk to her at first, Kara pressed on. 

“Alex please? Alex,” Kara begged. “Alex. Please listen to me.”

When Alex made no move to walk away from her anymore, Kara continued. “I am just as scared and hurt as you are about all this, but I also see clearly now.” She swallowed, mustering the courage to say the next few sentences. “Jeremiah was with Cadmus for a long time, our most dangerous enemy, so we owe it to ourselves to look at every angle. Even if it makes us uncomfortable.” 

She held her breath for what she saw coming. But she did not expect her heart to ache at the sound of Alex’s disappointment, at Alex comparing her to Mon-El.

“I realise that you’re in your honeymoon phase, but  _ really Kara? _ You don’t have to take every stance that  _ he  _ takes!” Alex snapped. She was obviously still upset and angry; Kara tried to be understanding but Alex’s gaze, hot with disappointment, scorched her. 

Kara’s insistence for them to investigate the matter did little to quell Alex’s anger. Kara couldn’t believe it; they were fighting. And this one was serious. This one was about  _ family _ , was about their safety, was about Cadmus. This was about keeping her loved ones safe, this was about protecting Alex, this was  _ not  _ about takings sides. 

“It  _ is _ about taking sides; because you’re either part of the family, or you’re  _ not _ !” Alex gritted out.

“You don’t mean that,” Kara whispered in disbelief. 

“He’s my  _ father _ ,” Alex said.

“He’s mine too!” 

“Then act like it!” Alex yelled. 

When Alex stormed out of the conversation (argument, really), Kara wondered if there was any way she could fix this. She  _ needed  _ to fix this. 

…

Jeremiah turned out to be not so good after all. The truth was that Jeremiah had changed, the truth was that he was a Cadmus man because that was the only way he could protect his family. But the truth, whatever it was, didn’t justify his actions. Not to Kara, not to Alex. It did not hurt any less than it did when he dared Alex to pull the trigger on him,  _ knowing  _ that she wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ do that to him. It didn’t hurt any less because Jeremiah had betrayed everyone Alex had loved, he betrayed Eliza, he betrayed  _ Kara _ , he betrayed her family.  It didn’t hurt any less when Jeremiah told her that she was always the best part of him. It didn’t hurt any less to watch him escape. 

Jeremiah had stolen the National Alien Registry for Cadmus. 

Kara saw how it broke Alex, how it shattered her trust, how it crushed her hopes. She knew had to be strong for this. She was worried what Jeremiah’s alliance would do to Alex, to Eliza. She was worried what it would mean for their fight against Cadmus. She was worried that she was not hurt enough by his betrayal because right now, Kara  _ really  _ disliked Jeremiah, whatever reasons he had for his actions, because he had  _ hurt _ Alex, his daughter, her sister.

Alex was still not speaking to Kara. Kara watched from J’onn’s side as Alex and Eliza embraced each other in consolation, in quiet tears, in blood-bonded comfort, something Kara could never be part of and Kara learnt to accept that. Kara watched as she wondered if it would change everything. 

“It will. It will make us  _ stronger _ ,” J’onn said, reading his mind, a comforting hand on her shoulder. Kara nodded sadly.  _ I hope.  _

And across the room, Alex was thinking about the same thing. 

…

That night, Kara curled up on her couch, tear-stained cheeks and blanket up to her chin. She was not cold, yet she felt the chills down her spine; Kara thought maybe it was Alex’s coldness towards her throughout the entire ordeal, maybe it was Jeremiah’s unjustifiable cool when he dared Alex to  _ shoot _ him, maybe it was because she was alone and confused, maybe it was the void in her heart that was begging to be filled. She was not expecting the onslaught of tears when she finally allowed herself to  _ think _ about what Jeremiah had done to the D.E.O., to her family, to  _ Alex _ . She certainly was not expecting her ability to stop herself from going to Alex and comfort her because  _ that  _ was what every fibre of Kara was screaming for her to do. Kara was sad that she couldn’t be there for Alex, that Alex already had Maggie for that. She imagined that Maggie, being the caring person that she was, would already be in Alex’s apartment, hugging Alex, telling Alex that she was strong, that everything will be alright, that she’s here for her. Kara imagined that Maggie would have already kissed away Alex’s tears. And Kara blinked away just a few more tears.

Kara clutched at her blankets, sad that she could only sit on her own couch, and weep in her solitude. So, when Mon-El showed up and asked her what she needed, Kara allowed herself to be engulfed by his warmth, his company and his support. Because maybe, this  _ broke  _ her a little too much. 

…

Kara spent the next few days in and out of the D.E.O. and CatCo. She needed to warn the aliens out there of the threat that was Cadmus. While the number of abductions of aliens did not escape the D.E.O.’s radar, Cadmus seemed to smoothly slip away every time. When J’onn ordered Jeremiah to be an enemy combatant, Kara didn’t miss the fear that flashed across Alex’s expression. 

The sisters still weren’t talking. Kara wondered how long the cold shoulder treatment was going to last. But when Kara suggested she write an article and publish it on the cover in order to warn the aliens, Alex had asked her, “You think Snapper would publish that?”. That was the first sentence Alex had said to Kara in days.  _ Days _ ! 

Kara couldn’t help the grin that broke across her features, the almost-too-sunny way she said, “Absolutely!” and the heavy relief that at least the cold shoulder was cold no more when Alex gave her a small smile in reply. 

Alex was scared what the D.E.O. would do to Jeremiah when they capture Cadmus. Alex didn’t like the sinking feeling that the organization she was vitally loyal to would not hesitate to punish her father torturously. But Maggie had nodded in understanding why she was so scared, that she was the only one left that still believed that Jeremiah was good. Maggie had tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and told her that she would “be there to protect Jeremiah when the D.E.O. finds Cadmus”. Maggie had easily distracted her from her worries with another round of pool. Maggie wanted a flash grenade.  _ As if _ . _ No way.  _

When Cadmus attacked the Alien Bar, Lyra was taken away. Alex was so close to saving her but not with a gun to her back, a gruff voice threatening to shoot if she did not drop her gun. 

“Let her go!” Alex heard Maggie yell from behind before she was unceremoniously whirled around by the beefy man, now pointing the gun to her head. 

Maggie could not do anything but point her gun at the perpetrator, fear in her eyes at the sight of Alex helpless and strangled by the man’s vice grip.

Guardian saved Alex, dragging the beefy man from behind his neck, bringing him to his mercy before smashing his shield against his skull. Enough to subdue him for the time being, to bring him back to the D.E.O.

Winn watched in horror as the van drove off, Lyra screaming for help inside it. Winn swore that he would not forgive Alex if Lyra was hurt by Cadmus. Alex stood, numbly absorbing Winn’s harsh words against her father, against Cadmus, because she  _ knew _ that she was the  _ only  _ one who still believed that Jeremiah was good. Alex stood, suddenly feeling anger boil within her, watching their prisoner from the surveillance monitor, because she  _ knew  _ that this man  _ knew  _ something about Jeremiah, about Cadmus. When Mon-El distracted Winn from Alex, she stormed to his holding cell and unleashed her interrogating skills. Except that this was torture-interrogation, this was violent-punching-until-the-man-speak, this was Alex’s desperate call to rescue Jeremiah, to destroy Cadmus, this was Alex losing control. 

J’onn had never seen Alex lose control like this. Alex Danvers held onto control like a lifeline ever since she became sober. Alex Danvers, breathless from punching the life out of the man, trembling from fear, explaining that it  _ was not _ about Jeremiah that got her so riled up. J’onn needed to make sure that Alex was  _ fine _ and that Alex was  _ with  _ the D.E.O. 

So J’onn made the tough call to suspend Alex from her D.E.O. duties after testing her, impersonating Jeremiah to visit Alex in her home that night. 

Alex’s pleas fell on deaf ears, the Green Martian refuse to let personal feelings get in the way of his professional duty. Alex, in her shocked desperation, called the two people she could think of in her shaky state. Maggie arrived, offering her support. 

Then Kara arrived, her support not as sound as Maggie’s. 

Alex could not believe it. Kara was siding J’onn.

“J’onn shouldn’t have done that to you. I don’t agree with his method, but I agree with his assessment. Alex, I heard what happened: you lost it while interrogating a suspect! What’s going on?” Kara’s voice was lace with concern and worry. Kara’s eyes shone with care and  _ fear _ because this  _ conflict _ might just break their relationship. Alex was anxiously defending her stance, her disappointment in Kara clear as day. 

“It doesn’t matter! What matters is our  _ father _ and there is still  _ good _ in him! And I need you to convince J’onn because I  _ have  _ to be there when we find Cadmus.  _ I  _ have to protect him!” Alex begged, tears welling in her eyes. 

“Alex, listen,” Kara tried to sooth the panicked woman in front of her, grip firm on Alex’s shoulders. “I’m not going to let anything happen to Jeremiah. I promise. But you’re putting all of your focus on _him_ instead of all the aliens we are trying to find. And when we find them, you’ll risk making a bad call, putting him in danger or worse, getting _yourself_ _hurt_!” Kara tried not to feel offended when Alex’s gaze left hers, mid-conversation to seek out Maggie’s instead. She tried to remind herself that Alex was just scared and upset. She straightened up, clutched Alex’s shoulders tighter when Maggie approached them, cross-armed at Alex’s silent plea for back up. Alex’s eyes did not leave Maggie’s supportive ones.

_ Support _ . Kara hated that she couldn’t give that to Alex now. Maggie willingly, readily did. Because now, Kara had to leave to run the article and Alex shrugged herself from Kara’s grip. Because now, Kara headed for the door while Alex headed for Maggie. Because no matter how much Kara wanted to be at Alex’s side now, she couldn’t. The evidence against Jeremiah was too much and the stakes were too high. Because Kara heard, on her way to CatCo, thanks to her Super Hearing, that Maggie had vouched her support for Alex. 

“You want to protect your dad, so that’s what you need to do.”

“You’ll help me?”

“Ride or die.”

…

Kara didn’t expect to see Lena the next day at CatCo for their lunch date they made  _ two weeks ago _ (because Lena was a busy multimillion-dollar company owner and Kara was a busy Supergirl). So, when Lena teasingly insinuated that Kara had forgot about their appointment, Kara apologised, blushing in embarrassment, explaining that there had been “a lot going on lately”. 

Kara told Lena about Snapper refusing to publish her article on Cadmus. Lena knew she could help because  _ mother’s up to no good now _ . So, Lena suggested citizen journalism. 

“Imagine how many people you can reach  _ instantly _ by just blogging about it,” Lena said, giving Kara an idea. When Kara asked if L-Corp had something that could find missing aliens, Lena wanted to help more by looking further into it. 

“When Lex was running the company, mother was on the board. Maybe she’d left something behind. Trail of breadcrumbs?” Lena said, grinning. “Could be your second source?”

Kara was excited by the prospect of it. Furthermore, she was pleased that Lena was so generous with her help.  

Lena wanted to help Kara. If Lillian Luthor was up to no good, abducting aliens based on the Alien Registry, then Lena wanted in. When Kara had thanked her, bottom lip pulled between pearly white teeth, Lena had a new incentive. 

…

Maggie immobilized one of the Cadmus men with a D.E.O. standard issue, saving Brian the alien. Alex hacked into the van’s GPS to locate where the aliens were held by Cadmus. 

“Want me to go with you?” Maggie asked, a hint of worry in her voice. 

“No, I need to do this myself,” Alex was determined to protect not only her father but Maggie as well. Maggie gave Alex a long kiss for luck. 

“Wish I had what you two have,” Brian commented suggestively, much to the women’s disgust. 

“Go away Brian!”

…

Alex found out the truth about Jeremiah’s work at Cadmus. “You are forcibly deporting them back! I mean, some of them have escaped famine, poverty, genocide—

“Lillian was going to kill them all! At least this way, they have a chance!” Jeremiah tried to make Alex understand. 

“It was all a lie… Everything you told me in the woods… That you’re working for Cadmus for me—

“And I  _ am _ . From the moment Cadmus took me prisoner, they told me that they are going to kill you and Kara unless I did what they said. I made my choice; protect my girls at  _ all costs _ !”

Alex shook her head. “How could you think that we would want you to hurt others to protect us?” She thought of Kara, her noble, heart of gold, Girl of Steel. _ Would she have agreed to this? _

“There are some things that you will never understand until you are a parent.”

“Do you think mum would understand this?” Alex shot back. She thought of Eliza, sweet-hearted, tender Eliza.  _ Would she have agreed to this? _

Jeremiah looked pained when he turned to Alex to reply her question. He looked like he had almost lost hope. He looked like he only wanted Alex to forgive him one day. “I can only hope that someday she will…”

…

Kara published her article on her blog. Then Lena’s call led her to believe that she was in danger; there were heavy footsteps, there were cries for help. Kara could hear it from her Super Hearing or from the other end of the line; whichever it was, Kara was in the air, heading for L-Corp Tower in a heartbeat. Kara saved Lena, bridal-style, from falling off the top floor, much to the dismay of Lena’s attackers. 

Supergirl swooped in, hands at Lena’s waist and under her thighs. “Dropped something?” 

Lena was thankful for Supergirl’s timely arrival. 

“I was uh, getting coffee, with Kara Danvers when you called.”

“Well that’s lucky,” Lena said with a chuckle. “Well, I am glad you’re here. I have something that you both would want to know. Cadmus and missing aliens; I know where they are.”

Kara called the D.E.O. for backup. She had a hunch that Alex was probably already there; Alex was definitely smarter than she was, probably figured the location out by now and probably,  _ foolishly _ valiant to want to save Jeremiah  _ alone _ . 

_ If only I’ve supported her, she wouldn’t have to do this alone.  _

Kara could hear, as she closed in on the location, the explosion of the Haldorr particle mine, Alex  _ begging _ Jeremiah to pick her side, Lillian threatening her family; she heard Alex declare, the confidence in her tone unmistaken, “We’re going to protect each other.  _ Always _ !”

_ Hold on, Alex. Hang in there. _

Lillian told them that there was no override code. A few more explosions ensued. “I’m going into the ship and stop the launch from inside!” Alex told Jeremiah. 

Alex called the D.E.O., told them about the ship, the destination, her cluelessness in stopping the launch. 

Of course, Alex would run into a launching ship, lightspeed-jumping to  _ Takron-frigging-Galtos _ without backup, without hesitation. Kara could not help but feel enraged by her courage right now. Kara spotted the gigantic vessel in the air, the engines ignited in a blast of bright orange. Kara zoomed towards it.

“We need to slow it down!” Winn told Alex through the intercom. 

“I am here! I can slow it down!” Kara told them. 

The Hoshin frigate was bulky, it was heavy, it was brutal. Kara took down one of its  _ many  _ engines, flew to the front of the vehicle, where Alex was looking out from, and pushed with all her might. 

Alex watched her from the cockpit, hope glinting in her eyes. 

Kara lived for that glint. Kara loved that glint. 

“Alex! In 20 seconds, the ship will be on the  _ other side  _ of the universe!” Winn’s voice came in broken parts through the intercom. 

Alex looked at Kara, who refused to break eye contact with her sister. Kara would  _ not  _ let Alex fly off to the other side of the universe. She simply would not. “It’s up to Kara now,” Alex replied, her voice soft but confident as she nodded at the younger sister. 

Kara needed the vote of confidence. Kara would push, just like she would always push for Alex. Kara mustered every last bit of strength and resilience in her and she forced the frigate the other way, feeling the momentum of the vehicle pressing on her every muscle. 

When Alex had placed a palm flat on the cockpit window pane, silently cheering her on, Kara felt renewed strength,  _ new  _ strength; strength she knew could only come from Alex. Strength she knew she had to have because she wanted, needed to save Alex. Strength she knew could stop the Hoshin frigate because she was  _ not  _ going to lose Alex tonight. The images of all the aliens trapped in the vessel flashed across her mind; the image of Alex, right her, right now, eyes glossy with unshed tears and an impossibly soft smile; the image of Alex, straightening in bravado even though she was 16-seconds to a lightspeed jump.  

So, Kara placed her palm on the window and allowed herself to only marvel for a split-second at how beautifully their palms’ outline fit together, let her eyes gaze into Alex’s for a split-second, and then she pushed, with  _ renewed  _ vigour. 

The Hoshin frigate was 5 seconds to reaching the Earth’s atmosphere. Kara was 5 seconds to losing Alex. Kara was 5 seconds to  _ losing.  _ The frigate’s engine finally died. Kara felt the last of her strength leave with it as she slumped down, knees pressed on metal of the nose of the frigate, her palm against the window where Alex’s awaited hers on the other side. Kara felt her lungs burn as she inhaled in the current altitude, from the stress moments ago, from the panic of losing Alex, from the fear of failing. Kara let herself marvel for  _ moments _ , at the curves of Alex’s palm, the way their palms seem to fit so  _ damn  _ beautifully. Because she could afford to marvel for  _ moments _ now that the Hoshin frigate was idle, floating in air, 5 seconds to lightspeed jumping. Because she could afford to take in Alex’s beautiful smile, to trace the tears running Alex’s cheek with her eyes, to smile “I love you” to Alex with teary eyes of her own. Because Kara had saved Alex, had saved the thousands of aliens aboard the frigate. Because Alex had been there for Kara, had trusted in her strength and ability, had supported her as she pushed with all her might and  _ heart. _ Kara’s breath hitched; Alex had  _ supported _ her, Alex had  _ loved _ her; there was no mistaking it in the way Alex had looked at her just now, the way Alex had extended her hand out. 

And Kara loved knowing that.  

She closed her eyes, letting loose tears slip, her palm still firm on the window, Alex’s mirroring from the other side. 

…

Jeremiah was captured by Cadmus once more. Alex got reinstated as a D.E.O. agent after a heartfelt confession cum apology from J’onn and a sincere promise to find Jeremiah one day. 

Kara was fired for publishing her article using CatCo resources on a competing social media platform, after an oddly-hurtful, oddly-sentimental session with Snapper.

“That’s not luck. That’s being a good reporter.”

Snapper had admitted that he was rooting for her. And it broke Kara’s heart more knowing that as she walked out of the office, her ‘You’re-Sacked’ box in her arms. 

The weather seemed to align with her mood tonight. Gloomy, rainy,  _ sad _ . Saving Alex and the entire troop of aliens was  _ amazing  _ but that was _ last night’s tale _ . Tonight? Tonight, she got fired. And she was alone because Alex was with Maggie. Maggie whom Alex hugged the moment she saw the dark-haired detective waiting for her outside the descended frigate. Maggie whom Alex chose to spend the night with after Kara saved her. Maggie whom Alex was celebrating with after getting reinstated. 

Kara's palm subconsciously inched towards the window pane, smooth to touch as she pressed her palm and forehead against it. Kara imagined Alex's on the opposite side. She had not been able to forget the experience on the Hoshin frigate, the intensity of the entire ordeal. Kara felt frustration bubble within her; she had been so sure of what she had seen in Alex's eyes that night, so certain that what she saw mirrored what she felt, yet… 

Alex still chose Maggie at the end of the day. 

Kara took comfort in knowing that Alex thought about her much later that night when she received a text message from her. It was an hour past Alex's sleeping time and it read:

'Can’t stop thinking about how amazing you were tonight. You saved so many of the aliens, Kara. And I am so grateful that you saved me too.’

Kara remembered reading that message over and over again; she remembered the pleasant feeling that coursed through her veins, knowing that Alex was thinking of her (how amazing she was, but she would take what she was given). 

The message was soon followed by another one, a picture of Alex in bed, turned to one side. One arm was crossed over her chest as if to shield the nakedness of her shoulder (although it really only accentuated her cleavage, if Kara opined) while the other was stretched out to hold the camera for the selfie. Alex had that peaceful glow about her, the slightly tousled hair, the soft smile, the subtle curves of her lips. Kara was sure her Kryptonian brain stopped working for a while because by Rao, did Alex looked gloriously gorgeous. The caption read: 

'Good night, my Supergirl!’

And Kara swooned twice over. 

...

In Alex's absence last night, that was all she had to lift her spirits. She saved the photo of her sister into her gallery (in case of a rainy day). 

Kara sighed, appreciating the pitter-patter of the rain on the awning tonight.  _ Rainy day indeed. _

She took out her phone and opened her conversation with Alex. 

Sent an hour ago, Alex had been concerned:

'Hey Kara, I'm so sorry about the news. Do you want us to come over? Mags worries about you. We can bring pot stickers. We're at the bar now. We can bring you some of your booze too.’

'It is fine Alex. You two have fun. Congratulations on getting reinstated.’

Kara wondered why must she be so noble all the time.  _ Can you ditch Maggie and come over alone? I just want you.  _

'Are you sure you'll be alright?’

'I will see you at the D.E.O tomorrow. I promise I'll be fine.’

'Don’t let me get in the way between your celebration tonight.’

'I'll have Mon-El.'

Alex sent her a sad emoji in reply. 

Kara closed her eyes with a sigh and leaned against the window pane. 

A soft buzz brought her attention back to her phone. A consolation text from Lena. She had told her best friend (after telling sister) about her unemployment shortly after leaving the CatCo building and Lena had  _ seriously _ offered Kara a job at L-Corp. Kara felt her lips curve upward into a grin at Lena’s text. 

‘To the best reporter I know, whose articles make my every day and whose personality shines brighter than the Sun itself, you’ll find your talents and skills much wanted and appreciated here at L-Corp. You’re welcomed here anytime, you know that.’

Five minutes later, two texts came in chain. 

‘I go off in 45 minutes. Will you be home?’

‘I bring with me fried sugary goodness and warm hugs.’

‘I can also bring your job contract.’ 

Kara chuckled, amused by Lena’s sweetness. 

‘Tempting, Lena, but I need some time now to think about it.’

‘I’d love to have you over, but my boyfriend is arriving soon. Rain check?’

‘I’m yours, anytime.’

…

Mon-El arrived a few minutes later with comfort food and kisses. Kara told Mon-El that reporting was her calling, that she loved to help people that way. 

“You know who else helps people? Supergirl.”

“Yeah but it’s just… when I write, I don’t need a  _ Yellow Sun _ ; it’s just me. Supergirl is what I can do, but Kara Danvers is who I am.” 

Mon-El had looked at her with such hope in his eyes, such  _ confidence.  _ For a moment there, Kara was scared how those eyes reminded her of Alex’s on the frigate. The hope, the confidence, the love.

Except that Mon-El would not run away with a Maggie at the end of the night; Mon-El would be here, next to her. 

So, Kara took a blind leap of faith. “Maybe being Supergirl and having you is enough.” It was a whisper, not loud enough to be sure. Just to tread the waters. Kara closed her eyes, trying to digest what she had just vocalised. Kara closed her eyes, only to feel Mon-El’s lips on hers. 

“You think so?” Mon-El asked, breaking the kiss with a boyish grin.

Kara looked at Mon-El again. There was the hope, there was the love. And she took another blind leap of faith. “Yeah.”

She felt terrible for Mon-El when she let him kiss her again because at the back of her mind, she still thought of Alex Danvers. Always thinking of Alex Danvers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on 2x16 and 2x17.
> 
> Kara meets Mama Daxamite.  
> Kara confesses her true feelings to Mon-El.  
> I see a broship in the horizon.  
> I try to make the break-up scene and aftermath more realistic (I will continue to follow up with it in future chapters).  
> And because Kalex was never part of Canon, I had to do some tweaking here and there to make it fit as best as I could. Contains ori Kalex scenes (if you haven't noticed, I love slow-burn and angst).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Mon-El, Prince of Daxam.

Kara learned the name, the title of her boyfriend, the former prince of a civilisation which survived what was supposed to be an apocalypse. With that name came the revelation and discovery of the truth behind the lost prince. The reminder that Mon-El was once a hedonistic, guiltless, spoilt royalty. And no matter how hard Kara tried to forgive him because that was his _past_ , she found herself failing because Mon-El did lie to her about who he was, about his past. And when given the chance to reunite with his parents, who looked high and low for him, who loved him dearly, Mon-El had brazenly refused.

“Just tell me what to do, and I’ll fix it!” Mon-El had begged.

“You can’t! You can’t change the fact that you lied to me.”

“Well I can try!”

Kara was cross. Trust was something she valued dearly. She had seen what the betrayal of trust ruined her friends, her loved ones. She had seen how it destroyed Alex, and now she felt like it was destroying her. After all, wasn’t Mon-El her safe haven?

Alex would have never had lied to her like this. Alex was always honest and open with her. Maybe too much of the honesty because it sometimes ended up hurting Kara. But at least Alex had always been sincere about her intentions.

“Let’s just forget about us for one second. Do you even understand the second chance you’ve been given? You thought you were the last Daxamite but you’re not. Your people are alive. Your _parents_. They need you.”

Mon-El looked at Kara, saw the disappointment in her eyes, saw the sadness that shimmered in them.

“They love you.” Mon-El saw the sincerity in Kara’s eyes. He thought of his parents, he tried to picture the pain they’d been through at the thought of losing him. He wondered briefly where his own pain was. _Am I really that selfish?_

“Don’t just throw that chance away because many of us don’t get one.” Kara was thinking about her parents, her dead planet, her extinct civilisation. It made her angry and Kara hated it, hated the feeling, the fact that the life she once loved had been cruelly snatched from her, hated that she could _never_ see her family ever again, could _never_ hug her mother or feel the scratchiness of her father’s chin when he kisses her. When Kara looked at Mon-El, her eyes were no longer bearing signs of sadness. They flashed with disappointment and _anger._ “You’re a prince so start acting like it!”

Mon-El, Prince of Daxam.

A declaration of a lie, of betrayal, of dishonesty. Mon-El was supposed to be her boyfriend, and didn’t that _position_ come with trust and faith? Kara was sure she had given Mon-El _trust and faith_. Except that Kara couldn’t, _didn’t_ have the rights to stay angry at Mon-El.

Kara couldn’t, _didn’t_ have the rights to claim righteousness and honesty because Kara hadn’t been completely truthful to Mon-El.

…

Alex saw how Kara’s defence mechanism acted up this time around. The over-enthusiasm, the grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes; Alex didn’t know exactly the details of the dinner disaster aboard the Daxamite ship, she didn’t know what exactly Queen Rhea told Kara; but Alex knew one thing: her baby sister was hurt and the crinkle between her brows betrayed nothing; not her faux enthusiasm, not the forced smile Kara sent in her direction, not the weariness in her eyes.

Alex spotted Kara the moment she entered the Alien Bar. Kara caught her gaze and Alex gave her a small wave. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Kara placed both hands on the edge of the pool table and tried to lean gently onto it.

The sisters stood across each other, their stance a mirror; cross-armed, a small smile on their face.

“Crinkle.”

Kara groaned. “Stop,” she chided softly. Kara watched as Alex made her way around the table to her side. She inhaled sharply when Alex flung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to her.

“How are you feeling?”

“You know the answer to that already,” Kara mumbled.

“Maybe,” Alex whispered. She did not let go of Kara’s shoulders, tugging her closer instead. “You have every right to be upset at Mon-El. I don’t know how much pain you’re in now, but I want you to know that I’m here for you if you need anything. Plus, I might have some experience with… betrayal and hurt.”

“Yeah. I… I’m sorry again, about Jeremiah and Cadmus—

“Kara.” Alex sighed.

Blue eyes snapped to meet concerned dark ones.

“Let me take care of you this time?” Alex asked, almost pleadingly.

Kara was caught completely by surprise at Alex’s gentle tone, the way Alex’s hand dropped to clutch Kara’s. “I know trust has always been a huge thing to you,” Alex said, and Kara nodded. “And I feel like I owe you an apology. I had not honoured that mutual trust between us a while ago.”

_Oh._

“Alex, it’s fine. It’s… if anything, I should apologise. I was the one who doubted Jeremiah in the first place.”

“With good reasons. And… although I still trust that he’ll come back to us,” Alex said with a certain resolve in her voice. “I… I was very mad at you. For doubting him. For not trusting your judgement. But… you were right: he was really working for Cadmus.”

Kara looked at Alex. This was her sister apologizing to her. This was her sister making her feel better.

“I’m sorry Kara,” Alex said. “I pushed you away when all you wanted to do was help. I shut you out and went behind your back to try to rescue him.”

“Don’t ever try anything so reckless like that again, Alex. Do you know how close I was to losing you? We’re a team; forever and always, you and me. You don’t have to fight alone.”

“Kara... you deserve so much better.”

Kara nodded.

_What did ‘so much better’ entail? What do you mean, Alex?_

Kara allowed herself to look into Alex’s eyes. To her surprise, Alex held her gaze. The world around her seemed to fade a little; suddenly, her Super Hearing seemed to fail because all she could hear was her own heart pounding in her chest (she might be able to hear Alex’s heart pounding just as quickly if she tried harder). All she could see was Alex’s perfect face and Alex’s perfect eyes. And Kara wanted so much to lose herself in those orbs.

“That night on that ship… you… you rescued us,” Alex said, recalling the incident on the Hoshin frigate.

Both sisters realised that this was the first time they brought up the topic since it happened.

“I saw the struggle you put yourself through to save us. You were pushing so close to your limit and—

“I’d do anything to save you, Alex. You know that.”

“But you were endangering yourself.”

“The things you do for those you love, right?”

When Alex didn’t reply and only stared at her, Kara chuckled humourlessly. “Like how you’d jump in front of the flame blast to save Maggie from Red Hot.”

Kara watched as Alex’s fingers played with the empty glass in her hand, how they drummed slowly against the transparent material. She watched as Alex’s finger leave the glass to reach for the side of her head, holding her in her hand, cupping her cheek. “It’s different. That’s different.”

“I don’t think so…” Kara whispered.

“I don’t want to lose you, Kara. I don’t want you to get hurt for me.”

_I want to be there for you, with you; I want to, and I have already been hurt because of you, by you. And I would do it all over again._

Kara stared silently at Alex, relishing in the warmth of her palm on her cheek.

“Kara, do you know how much you mean to me?”

_Please tell me. I need to know._

Alex’s eyes pleaded for her understanding. And Kara swallowed the lump in her throat, the fuzziness in her stomach increasing tenfold. Kara surged forward and hugged her sister tightly. Alex wrapped her arms around her waist tightly. “Alex, why did you go home with Maggie that night?” Kara asked, her voice timid and small, muffled against the fabric of Alex’s shirt as Kara buried her face in the crevice of her shoulders.

Alex sighed. “Kara…”

“Can you please think of me first next time?” Alex felt the vibration of Kara’s voice on her shoulder, felt the way her sister sounded so desperate and helpless; so in need of her.

“I…”

“Can I mean at least that much to you?” Kara clutched tighter.

Alex gasped, surprised at the sudden strength of her sister’s embrace. Kara let go, shocked by her own action as well.

Alex appeared flushed, either from Kara’s sudden admission or from the suffocating hug, Kara wouldn’t know. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine. I… I’m sorry,” Alex said softly.

“What for?”

“Kara… I do think about you. I was um… That night… I was thinking a lot about you.”

Kara’s mind briefly flashbacked to the image message she received from Alex that night; briefly recalled the feelings that evoked within her upon _knowing_ that Alex was thinking of her.

Alex had a way of forcing Kara to look her in the eyes, simply by grazing her forearms. Kara held back a sob, seeing the desperate and silent plea in Alex’s eyes, begging her to understand that Alex already had a Maggie.

“Are you okay?” Kara felt Alex’s hand in hers again.

_How dare she asks me that?_

Kara looked away, finding the white cue ball a lot more interesting than it was on other days.

“Kara.”

“Yeah. I mean… besides the… Mon-El thing… yeah, I’m good. We’re good.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asked. “About Mon-El?”

_No. I want to talk about me and you._

In the darkness of the Alien Bar, Kara gazed into Alex’s bright eyes. The older sister smiled at her encouragingly.

_Yeah, for that smile, maybe. Anything you’d like to know, yeah Alex? You know what, Alex, I hate that I love you so much._

Maybe deep down, Kara realised that she wanted to tell Alex about her feelings towards Mon-El. Maybe deep down, Kara needed to let it out.

The waitress brought a round of shots for them and Alex pushed the glass towards Kara. “Three shots tonight?” Alex asked teasingly. When Kara nodded, Alex grinned softly. “That much anger begging to be drowned, huh?”

Kara snorted but agreed. “I just… ugh, I hate him right now,” Kara said, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. She downed the shot furiously.

“I get it,” Alex nodded slowly. “And I hate that he hurt you,” she added, her expression now solemn.

Kara looked softly at her sister. “And this is more than just… _hurt_ , you know? It’s more than just the usual relationship ups and downs, Alex; I don’t even know him anymore! Do you know why Daxam was such a party planet?” Kara asked with a sigh. “Because the royal family kept their subjects drunk and distracted so they didn’t recognise how oppressed they were and Mon-El was a part of that!”

She spun on her heels and walked towards the bar. Alex followed her. “Look, Kara, maybe Mon-El is an evil prince but maybe he’s just a guy who’s ashamed of his past and is looking for a fresh start.”

Of course, Alex would say that about Mon-El. Kara would never understand her sister’s need to see the best in Mon-El, to try to tell her that he was good for her. “Maybe you should hear him out; give him a chance to explain.”

Kara sighed. “Is that Maggie?” she asked, failing to hide her annoyance at the interruption.

“Hmm?”

“Maggie,” Kara said, eyeing the left pocket of Alex’s jeans. “I think she’s calling you.”

“Right. Um...” Alex fished out her mobile phone and shot Kara an apologetic look.

“It’s fine. Go ahead.”

“One minute.”

Kara nodded and turned away from Alex, granting her a little privacy and space. Kara waved down the waitress for another shot and downed it quickly while Alex was distracted. Maggie had told Alex about Winn’s girlfriend and the art heist that happened last night.

“He’s at the station now. I’m going to go and meet them. This is ridiculous. Why would _Winn_ steal a Van Gogh; or anything, really.” Alex was determined to prove Winn’s innocence because come on, Winn was _Winn_.

“Can I help?”

“Kara, maybe you should sit this one out.”

“But—

“Talk to Mon-El. I love you, I need you take care of yourself.”

Any protests Kara had left her _brain_ when Alex planted a kiss on her cheek, slightly above and very near her lips. “Promise?”

Kara could only nod numbly and watch Alex leave the bar for the police station.

…

While Alex recruited James to help Winn with his case, Kara had an uncomfortable conversation with Mon-El’s mother. She learned that the Queen wanted to bring Mon-El with her in order to build a new future for the Daxamites, with Mon-El as their Prince.

“Would you rather he stays here and learn by degrees that he’s not good enough for you?” the Queen had called out on her. “Do what’s best for him. Tell him to speak to his parents; the people who love him.”

Queen Rhea had looked at her with such distaste, such clarity. It was a look of a protective mother who loved her son very much.

Kara sighed, watching the Queen teleport back to her ship in a beam of light.

…

When Lyra was caught, they found out that she had been thieving to protect and safe her younger brother. This led Alex and Winn to help her with her case, at the same time apprehend an intergalactic illegal art dealer.

When Winn forgave Lyra for lying to him easily, Kara wondered if she could forgive Mon-El for lying to her as nobly as Winn did. Winn told Kara that Lyra was being a bigger person that she did what she did as a sacrifice for her brother; and that was something worth forgiving.

“Sometimes, you just have to decide whether those reasons are good enough for you.” Winn’s advice rang in her head as Kara tried to give Mon-El a reason.

That night, Mon-El visited Kara in her apartment. He had let himself in using the key Kara mentally reminded herself to withdraw from his possession. He decided to come clean to Kara, telling her his true identity.

Mon-El of Daxam; who had enjoyed a life of pleasure and riches, who was deluded by desires and greed until he met Kara, who loved being a hero now because he got to spend every single day by her side, who loved Kara for her honesty and for the way Kara fought for those she cared for; who loved Kara with everything that he had.

 _Those seem like reasons, right?_ Kara felt the onslaught of tears because no matter what reasons she was given, she _made,_ Mon-El simply wasn’t enough for her.

“You are special, Kara.”

The crack in Mon-El’s voice broke Kara a little. It made it even harder now for Kara to let Mon-El know of her true feelings. Because Mon-El was not the only guilty one in this situation. Because Kara felt terribly guilty for leading him on, for something she was sure would not work out.

“And I’m sorry. Y-you’re right; I’m a liar and I really hope that you can still see the good in me.”

_Alex might be able to do that._

“Mon-El, I…”

“ _Please_.”

“Were you e-ever going to tell me the truth?” Kara’s voice trembled as she asked the question. When Mon-El shook his head with tears in his eyes, Kara nodded.

This was where she could make the difference; to _not_ be Mon-El. Except that… she was alike him already. She needed to make the difference, though. That part of Kara knew she had to tell Mon-El that she didn’t, wouldn’t love him the way he wanted to no matter how much she tried. “Falling in love… and being a hero; they are not easy things. They are _hard_ and sometimes—

“I will never hurt you on purpose—

“No, you won’t again. And I won’t either.” 

“Kara—

“Mon-El, the truth is…”

“Kara, please don’t.”

“Mon-El, I can’t do this. I can’t _love_ you.”

Kara’s words cut Mon-El like a thousand pieces of lead-lined shards. Those words Mon-El feared hearing because he had an inkling but had chosen to ignore it. “Kara… Don’t do this to us.”

“The truth is… I’m no saint and I haven’t been completely honest with you either.” Kara readied herself for the moment; the revelation, the honesty, to do what she thought was best for her and Mon-El.

“W-what do you mean?” Mon-El’s expression resembled that of a wounded kitten. Kara clenched her fist together, took off her glasses and looked away from the Daxamite. As if taking her glasses off would blind her from his pitiable expression, as if looking away from him would make it less painful for her to admit.

“I… I’m not in love with you like you want me to, Mon-El. I don’t think I can, even if I tried because I… I did try Mon-El. I… I only wish I can.”

“Kara, what do you mean?”

Kara looked at Mon-El, her eyes wet with tears, courage fluctuating. She shook her head roughly, unable to say what her heart felt. She shook her head with such harshness, so much suppressed rage that Mon-El seemed to read her mind. Kara’s hands flew to her mouth, muffling an imminent sob before tears flowed down in careful streams. “I’m so sorry.” Her apology was raw, half-whispered, coarse with regret, the crack in her voice mid-sentence gave way to sincerity.

Mon-El gasped roughly. “Is there someone else?”

When Kara pursed her lips, swallowing hardly.

“Is it someone I know?”

Kara wiped the tears from her eyes and dared herself to look at Mon-El again.

“How long?”

“How long—

“How long have you loved them?”

“For as long as I can remember. Mon-El, I—

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

Kara was shocked to hear her own words thrown back at her, to hear the muttered wrath, to see the pain in his expression. “Mon-El, I am sorry. I am telling you right now. I didn’t tell you before because I really, really like you and I really, really wanted to give us a shot. I… I have _never_ told anyone about this before.” Kara gasped, her eyes begging Mon-El with all of her heart as she whispered, “You can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Kara, you lied to me. You toyed with my feelings.” The way Mon-El uttered his words, the way his angry eyes darted towards Kara’s guilty ones felt like a stab in the heart for the Kryptonian.

“I didn’t mean to. I really thought we could be something. Until I realised that _I_ can’t. Mon-El, please, I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that but please know that I am so very sorry. You’re—

Kara gasped when Mon-El slammed his fist on the table. It broke from the sheer brutality of the Daxamite. The two of them stood two feet apart, staring at the broken furniture. Kara let out an imminent sob and Mon-El sighed.

 “You know what, Kara? You’re right. I have to go.”

“Mon-El!” Kara called after the Daxamite who was marching, his steps heavy and angry towards the exit. “I’m sorry!” Kara tried again but Mon-El kept moving.

The door slammed shut and Mon-El was gone.

Kara fell on her knees, next to the pile of broken wood and debris, buried her face in her palms and cried. She cried because she had hurt Mon-El, she cried because the truth was out but not completely, she cried because she was scared she’d lose the friend in Mon-El.

…

The bounty on Kara’s head, ordered by the Daxam royals gave Alex quite a shock. Between trying to help Maggie clear things up with her ex-girlfriend and making sure Kara did not wander off trying to not ‘bend, break, or stand down for anyone’, Alex was exhausted. Then Alex found out the truth behind Maggie’s breakup and then Kara’s.

Kara had been devastated through the phone call the night she broke up with Mon-El.

“Alex, where are you now?” Kara’s voice was muffled by her sobbing and a pillow she was hugging.

“Kara, what happened?” Alex heard the distress in Kara’s voice.

“Alex, I need you now. Can you please—

“Sit tight Kara. I’m coming over now.”

It only took ten minutes for Alex to ride to Kara’s apartment, five minutes to climb the flights of staircase and reach the front door. She dug around her pockets and purse for the key to Kara’s apartment, but her sister beat her to it, flinging the door open and surging forth to hug her tightly.

“I told him, Alex, I told him I don’t love him. I broke his heart. I’m a terrible person,” the younger sister cried, sobbing uncontrollably.

“You told him the truth, Kara. Hearts will heal. You are alright,” Alex stroke her back gently. “You are good…” she repeatedly whispered into Kara’s hair, her strokes consistent and soft while Kara cried and sobbed.

“Alex… I don’t love Mon-El.”

Alex nodded.

“I’m so sorry I don’t love him.”

“Baby, you don’t have to be sorry that you don’t love him.” Alex’s usage of the term of endearment caught Kara by surprise. It made her _feel_ dizzy, the eruption of _feelings_ , the blast of warmth; Kara hugged her tighter.

When Alex gave her a gentle squeeze before separating their embrace, Kara blushed furiously, knowing that Alex would be staring at her swollen eyes, tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips; her imperfections must be vividly disgusting to Alex’s unchecked flawlessness.

But Alex looked at her with gentleness in her gaze, with silent motivation in her smile; when Alex touched her, with the softness of her thumbs as they grazed each side of her face, the firmness of her palms cupping her face, Kara made sure to carve the softness of it all in her memory. Kara closed her eyes, dark lashes pushing down fat droplets of tears.

…

Three boxes of potstickers, two tubs of sad-flavoured ice cream later and half a horror film later, Kara fell asleep from her teary exhaustion on Alex’s lap. Alex had gracefully let her pick a movie to watch, knowing very well from Kara’s trembling lips and stubbornness that probing about the fresh break-up would be a terrible idea. The older sister quietly ordered a delivery of potstickers while Kara curled up on the couch, clutching the oversized pillow to her chest. Kara had insisted that Alex keep her fingers between her hair, nails lightly massaging her scalp throughout the first quarter of the movie (by then, the younger Danvers had munched down all 24 potstickers greedily and was lying down on Alex’s lap). Alex felt Kara wince, watching the blade impale the young boy’s chest while the villain giggled maniacally. Kara felt Alex’s fingers stroke her scalp lightly. Kara’s eyes closed to the sensation, eventually dozing off to the comfort.

“Hey Kara?”

If Kara was not so spent, she would’ve responded to Alex’s tiny call. But Kara was enjoying the comfort way too much, she was enjoying the idea that everything was perfectly chummy, she was enjoying the pretence that Alex would not remind her that she need to go back to Maggie.

She felt Alex shift underneath her, smelled the soft scent of Alex’s shampoo as she leaned in across her to check for her alertness, heard the small sigh that passed Alex’s lips once the older sister realised that Kara was ‘asleep’. Kara felt that she had the rights to be selfish tonight; she had the rights to keep Alex tonight. So, Kara innocently turned so that her face was buried in Alex’s front, her hand innocently clutched Alex’s shirt, the thin fabric of Alex’s shirt allowed Kara to breathe in the scent of her skin, so that all she could smell was Alex. Alex sat still, letting Kara to do whatever she wanted, wincing when she felt her abs involuntarily twitch with every stimuli, every feathery touch of Kara’s fingers and knuckles. Kara did not know if she should feel offended when Alex tried to move away from her a few minutes later. She felt Alex press a kiss on her temple before removing herself from the couch. She supposed she would have been impressed by such skilled agility, how Alex easily untangled and extracted herself from their position, but Kara couldn’t help the pang of hurt which surfaced afterwards. She heard water from the sink momentarily. She considered sitting up to see what Alex was up to, but Kara decided that she was spent and _broken_ , so she kept her eyes close, kept her tears at bay. She heard the yelling of another unfortunate boy being impaled cut-short as the TV was switched off. She felt Alex climb in onto the couch next to her, felt the weight of her blanket as Alex throw it over their sleeping bodies.

“Good night, Kara. You suck at faking sleep.” Alex said with a teasing lilt in her voice. Alex flung an arm around Kara’s waist, keeping her in place, Kara’s back to her front. Kara considered her reply (embarrassed, no doubt) but all working senses were electrocuted when Alex gave her waist a small squeeze, pulling her closer. “I love you anyway.”

Kara sighed, deciding to go with silence. It was safe, it prevented her from saying anything utterly stupid. It was the best move, and she was proven right because she was then rewarded with a kiss on her shoulder. Both sisters fell asleep quickly, this time, for real.

…

Kara woke up earlier than Alex did the next morning. She smiled, still feeling Alex’s arms wrapped around her waist. She wondered if Alex was uncomfortable; the couch was not the most spacious (Kara had tried affording a larger one; maybe this time, she’d be motivated to try harder). She remembered that she was very much unemployed and very much _single_. Memories of last night; of Mon-El, of the broken table, of Alex arriving, of the terrible horror movie, of the sheer amount of sad food she had consumed, of Alex’s softness, of the warmth of Alex’s body, being flushed against Alex’s front, underneath the thick blanket; came flashing in rapid succession. She could feel Alex’s toes, cold to touch, resting against her calves. She loved every bit of it; she could almost forget the pain of the break-up, the consequence of it; until Mon-El’s anger and hurt expression flashed in her mind. He was still in pain, as much as she tried to pretend everything was perfectly fine.

Alex stirred behind her; Kara quickly shut her eyes, faking sleep despite what Alex said about it being far from convincing. The older sister muttered a quick, “dang” when she realised that she had less than twenty minutes to prepare for work, and jumped to her feet instantly.

“Kara, I have to go now. I’ll be back for you by noon. Japanese for lunch?” Alex’s voice came in haste as she paced around the apartment, looking for her purse and cell phone.

Kara groaned inwardly. _Am I that bad at faking sleep?_ She heard Alex’s hasty movements, heard the shower turn on in the bathroom, heard the opening of her drawers and the slamming of some.

“Third drawer. I switched the drawers last week. Since… you don’t come by that often anymore.” Kara wondered if she sounded bitter or petulant. She leaned against the door frame as she watched Alex pull out her D.E.O. uniform.

“Thank you.”

Kara nodded and quickly turn away as Alex casually drop her towel, standing in all her naked glory. “I’ll go make some coffee.”

“Thanks, Kara!”

“I can fly us there. You won’t be late.”

“You’re checking in today?”

Alex took Kara’s silence as a yes. Alex couldn’t help but worry; she could already picture Kara’s overenthusiasm and feared for the worse if Mon-El decided to check in today. _Oh boy._

“Coffee’s ready. I got these croissants for you just now.” Kara sat down on the floor across Alex. Since Mon-El broke the dining table, Kara served Alex breakfast in the living room, the small centre table proved sufficient apparently. “Wooden or glass?” Kara mused aloud.

“Titanium,” Alex replied with a mischievous grin. Kara rolled her eyes. “Glass,” Alex replied, this time seriously. “I’ll come with you.”

“Don’t trust my taste huh? I’ll have you know that I decorated this space myself.”

Alex chuckled into her half-empty cup of coffee. The bitter coffee was an insult to her taste buds, but Alex figured that Kara didn’t need to be insulted just because her taste buds were. Alex cleared her throat, trying to rid the unpleasant bitterness but to no avail. She placed the cup down gently. One look at Alex’s face and Kara knew something was wrong.

“I forgot to add the sugar.” Kara frowned upon realising that the coffee she served Alex was unsweetened. “You didn’t have to drink that.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m a big girl; I can take coffee black.”

Kara rolled her eyes and dashed into the kitchen to fetch the sugar. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to.” Kara threw two teaspoons of sugar into Alex’s beverage and huffed. “You hate bitter coffee.”

“You’re sweet enough,” Alex quipped and grinned. It made Kara blush despite the corniness of it. “And I’m late enough.”

Kara glanced at the wall clock. Five minutes; they could make it.

Alex drank the rest of the coffee in a hurry and pocketed her cell phone. “Are you sure you want to check in today?”

“Yeah. Definitely,” Kara said, a large grin on her face.

 _Here we go._ Alex threw a small smile in reply. Kara and her defence mechanism. Alex couldn’t imagine the pain Kara must be going through; after a break up, after being sacked. She couldn’t imagine how she must feel; Alex tried to empathise. If she was to lose Maggie…

Her train of thoughts were halted when Kara took both her hands led her to the balcony. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. They took off into the sky, speeding past the traffic below; Alex was 2 minutes early.

“I wonder how your hair stays the way it is after a flight,” Alex said with a laugh as she combed her hair with her fingers. Thank goodness she had short hair or else the mess would’ve been worse.

“It’s the alien genes,” Kara winked at her playfully. She skipped toward the group huddled around in the atrium. “It is yet another beautiful day in National City and the Girl of Steel is ready to take on the world! I am here to kick some ass, take some names and do it all with an endearing smile on my face!”

Alex sighed, the overenthusiasm was borderline worrisome at this point and the day had barely begun.

“So, bring it on; what do you have for me?”

“There is literally _nothing_ for you to do,” J’onn informed her, his tone cool and happy.

“Nothing?” The vast contrast in Kara’s tone from J’onn’s was comical and if it wasn’t for the fact that Alex was actually worried, she would’ve laughed.

“I challenge you to find an 8-year old stealing candy,” Winn said, throwing a lazy smirk at Kara’s direction. “It’s like somebody slipped law-abiding serum into the reservoir.”

“Did someone do that? Is that illegal? I can stop them!”

“We’ll let you know if something comes up; in the meantime, I’ll be upstairs checking budgets,” J’onn told her and walked away. What wouldn’t he do for a peaceful day in the office. With all that had happened recently, he could do with a budget-checking-day-in.

“I’m gonna work on the new Lebeckian code breaker!” Winn said, his boyish grin adorable as he spun around to face the computer again.

“Thursday morning knife practice,” Alex said with a shrug. “Want to join me?” Her _boyish_ grin made Kara’s knees weak. It was only when Alex walked past her when she realised Alex’s question.

“I don’t do knives,” Kara sighed, frustrated. “I’m more like… punch and freeze them; occasionally heat vision them to surrender but… no knives, no guns. And why aren’t there anything for Supergirl to do?”

Alex chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll be the first to know if something comes up; meanwhile, enjoy a chill day. You’re welcomed to watch me throw knives at targets if you want.”

Watching Alex throw knives at targets and avoid random flying darts and other projectiles was interesting until it got incredibly awkward when Mon-El entered the training room. The two froze upon seeing each other and Alex’s eyes sought Kara immediately, making sure her sister was acceptably fine.

What happened next was a close call. One moment Alex heard the training machine behind project four daggers her way half a second too late, the next she was being hugged from behind by two very strong arms. Alex inhaled sharply when she realised that Kara had saved her from her own recklessness. Kara couldn’t be any more grateful for her superhuman speed. The daggers had made marks on her – alien-grade – infraspinatus and teres major but they’d heal. At least quicker than Alex’s would.

Kara noticed Alex’s rapid breathing had slowed significantly, and she slowly loosened her grasp on her sister. “Four, really?” Kara asked, her words hushed but lacked panic or anger. Alex nodded and stood up with Kara.

“I usually handle five. I was just distracted.” Alex tucked a her hair behind her ears and straightened up.

Kara withdrew her hands, tucking them at her back, and nodded in reply. 

“I’m going to come back later,” Mon-El said, interrupting the sisters.

“No. You need to train.” Kara said hastily. “I’ll leave.”

Kara gave Alex a small, sad smile while Alex heaved a sigh of relief; at least Kara’s faux-enthusiasm façade broke. Alex knew that Kara was the hurting worse with every overly excited grin and overly excited proposition. “I’ll still see you during lunch right?” the younger Danvers asked, looking hopefully at Alex. Alex nodded.

…

Leaving the D.E.O. meant heading home because Kara was once again painfully reminded that she was no longer an employee of CatCo Worldwide Media. And going home meant facing the immense loneliness and silence of her apartment. She was _not_ used to this.

She dug the couch for the TV remote and lied on the fabric couch, inhaling the remnants of its previous occupant; the faded scent of Alex made her heart flutter and soar. Kara wondered how the effect Alex had on her had intensified over the years. She remembered listening to her peers speak of passing crushes and fading feelings; she had experienced them in her past attempts at finding love with non-Alex’s. But Alex, whenever it came to her sister, it was _always_ different.

Kara picked up where she left off in the horror flick last night. Watching in broad daylight was an absolutely terrible idea but National City was safe today; no Supergirl needed. And Kara Danvers felt no need to roam the streets in fear of meeting CatCo ex-colleagues or Mon-El.

The only thing she looked forward to for the rest of her morning in was lunch with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karamel would never be end-game here (no matter what Canon says). Finals are drawing near and the next chapter will be finished once I settle down. I need to derive fun from studying parasitic infections and their pathogenesis for now. Thanks for holding on!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Mon-El get their closure.  
> Casual date night between two sisters. Alex asked if Kara is in love with someone.  
> Some bonding time.  
> Very, very loosely based on 2x18 Ace Reporter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finals were done last year and I was spiraling for s while till early this year. The sucking despair of feeling low and short-lived happiness isn't really my thing... Took some time to recover from my own thoughts and I returned to writing a few weeks ago. I realised the last chapter was posted in May 2018. I can't believe it's been 9 months, the time taken to form a baby from an embryo. Go figure.
> 
> Writing this chapter was fun and it reminded me of the chiller days before it all took a turn. Turns out that this could be rather therapeutic. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

It had been two and a half weeks since Kara was unemployed. At Alex’s advice during dinner last week, she had picked up baking and cooking. The Martha Stewart Show was on every morning and noon, and that ought to keep her busy during the day if she was not out fighting crimes as Supergirl (there had only been one case of snatch theft and even that, Supergirl played the role of the unnecessary backup to Guardian). At night, Kara picked up a Dan Brown’s at Lena’s recommendation when she heard of Kara’s vigorous ‘grief-baking’ routine.

It had been a week and Kara found herself staring at the fifth failed vanilla sponge cake of the day. Dumping the lumpy half-baked cake into the disposal, Kara groaned in exhaustion. She did exactly what Martha frigging Stewart did.

Lena dropped by later that day, wearing a stylish turquoise trench coat over a no-doubt designer sleeveless dress. She glanced at Kara’s unkempt kitchen; egg shells spilling out of the trash can, butter wrappers on the kitchen island. She sniffed at the stench of smoke. What caught her attention amidst all the chaotic mess in the kitchen, was the brand-new reinforced steel table which replaced the previous dining table, a hand-stitched table runner across it. Lena calculated her move. She could be nice or not so nice. “Smells like you burnt your last masterpiece. Are you still grief-baking?” The mischievous smile Lena threw in Kara’s direction made the taller woman blush.

“Being unemployed is not fun anymore.” Kara said, and Lena bit her lip at Kara’s adorable pout. “And no, Lena, I can’t accept your job offer; you’re paying me way too much.”

“Then name a price.”

Kara chuckled. “It’s not that… I just… I really like working for CatCo and I just…” _Want my old job back._

Lena reached out to clamp Kara’s idle hand in hers. “You’ll be fine. It won’t take long before they realise their mistake.” Lena said it not just in consolation but in confidence as well. It was said with the understanding that Kara was politely declining her job offer, of understanding that Kara was uncomfortable with Lena’s blatant generosity, of understanding that Kara _loved_ her job at CatCo.

The two shared a small, sweet smile.

“Wait! You came by, you wanted to see me; is everything okay?” Kara said, breaking the short-lived sweetness.

“Yeah, no, absolutely, uh…”

Kara raised a brow, waiting for Lena to go on. The dark-haired woman bit her lip before continuing. “So tomorrow there is this press conference for Spheerical Industries new unveiling… whatever they announce is going to be next big thing that everyone wants.”

“Are they your competition?” Kara retreated to fetch Lena a glass of water, while keeping her eyes on Lena.

“No uh… Their C.E.O… Jack Spheer and I… we used to be close.”

Kara’s brows shot up. “Until when?”

“Just before I moved to National City.” Lena chuckled softly under her breath, saying this, feeling Kara’s surprised gaze on her. “We’ve been together… romantically… for two years. But we had a start-up together for five… Worked out of a garage… tried to find a cure for cancer. It was a lot of small explosions.”

Kara knew that shyness. Jack Spheer must had been someone really important in Lena’s life at one point. Someone _close_. When Lena filled her in on the details of said unveiling, Kara was privy to information of Lena’s past relationship with Jack. It intrigued Kara further, to know this Jack person, because Lena sounded like she was really in love with him. And for Lena Luthor, genius philanthropist and one gorgeous woman, to fall in love with him, Jack Spheer must really be impressive. Kara tried not to cringe too apparently when Lena told her that “Jack was my Kryptonite”, blushing heavily afterwards. Kara thought Lena looked absolutely adorable with pink tinging her cheeks.

Lena offered a ticket out of her burnt-cake-smelling apartment; Kara couldn’t say no. Plus, Lena needed her, and Kara would never say no to a friend-in-need. “I always have your back,” Kara told Lena meaningfully.

Lena regarded Kara, a thoughtful look across her features. Kara couldn’t help but feel intrigued under Lena’s gaze. Lena smiled softly at her. “You’re my favourite.” The sentiment made Kara blush and unable to hide the grin from spreading across her cheeks. “So… what’s your Kryptonite?” Lena probed, leaning forward and Kara felt like Lena could see right through her, through her secret Supergirl identity, through her fragile Kara Danvers’ identity; it scared Kara how deeply Lena’s brilliant green eyes could anchor into her own.

_Alex. Kryptonite. Alex. Kryptonite. Alex._

Kara did not give her a reply, instead she looked away, clearing her throat awkwardly. Lena was kind to her, chuckled softly and thereby dropping the subject. Lena asked instead about the books Kara had been reading in her recent unemployment.

…

Shortly after Lena left, Kara plopped herself on the couch, surfing through a few other cooking channels that looked promising. She heard her phone vibrate in her bedroom; hoping it would be Alex confirming dinner plans with her, Kara was surprised by the incoming message from Mon-El. Kara did not know how to respond to the message notification on her screen, so she stared for a while before typing a reply.

‘We should talk.’

‘We should. I’d love that.’

‘Are you free tonight? After dinner?’

Kara thought of her dinner plans with Alex. Another message came before she could reply.

‘Or whenever, really. I just really want to see you.’

‘Sure. I’ll meet you at the D.E.O. at midnight. Rooftop?’

‘See you tonight, Kara.’

Kara sighed, pocketing her phone. Kara often told herself that she would not use her superpowers for her day-to-day chores. As they were human, she should proceed with them as normally as possible. Cleaning up the kitchen after a grief-bake-off took longer than expected; a lot of scrubbing was done, of soot from the walls and ceiling, a lot of wiping, the spilled batter, toppled sugar jar, flour on countertops. By the time she was done with cleaning up, it was an hour to dinner with Alex. Kara cursed under her breath as she stepped into the shower. She smelled of burnt batter and caramel, and she was determined to wash it away without using her superpowers.

Alex had let herself in, took over the couch and picked up the Dan Brown she found lying on the coffee table.

“Someone had a good shower,” came Alex’s drawl when Kara stepped into the living room. “And I see that the kitchen has been cleaned spotless.”

“Hi,” Kara said, a little breathily. For one, she was rushing, pulling on her denim overalls when she heard Alex’s key at the door. Secondly, Alex looked gorgeous in the dark green tank top and skin-tight leather pants. The green really contrasted well with Alex’s hair colour.

“Thanks. I-uhh… thanks.”

It wasn’t until Alex ran her fingers through her hair that Kara realised that she had complimented Alex aloud. Kara blushed when Alex kept her eyes down-casted, shuffling from foot to foot.

“I was thinking,” Alex broke the awkward silence, finally looking up at Kara. “We should go somewhere nice tonight. Somewhere like… not the Alien Bar. I don’t mean that it’s not nice, I just… I mean, I mean somewhere else that’s nicer…”

“Hey.” Kara cut Alex off in the middle of her ramble. Alex was cute when she was a blubbering mess. Kara didn’t care what Alex meant about the Alien Bar. She was focused on the fact that Alex was nervous as heck, and somehow, Kara thought it sounded like Greg Haywood asking her out on a date when she was fifteen. It made Kara swoon at the thought that Alex might very well be asking her out on a date. “Let’s go somewhere nicer, sure.”

“Really? Great, uh yeah, so I know how much you love your meat, you carnivore.”

Kara grinned in mischief.

“And Winn was telling me about this great place where you can get all the _proteins_ you crave,” Alex gushed on. The wink that followed almost choked Kara.

They ended up dining at burger joint. Alex had insisted that they served a pretty good triple meat stack. Kara savoured every bite while Alex chewed slowly on hers.

Kara told her about her meeting with Mon-El later that night. Alex encouraged Kara to be honest to him and to herself. Kara worried that Mon-El might never forgive her… or worse, wanted their romantic relationship back. Kara wasn’t sure she could break his heart again.

“You just have to be sincere; offer him your friendship. You are one of the few people I know with such a limitless ability to love. I am sure he’d accept the friendship.”

Kara sighed.

“Anyway, Mon-El better not do anything stupid or funny. I’ll break his arms if I have to.”

Kara stifled a laugh, beaming at Alex. “He is a Daxamite. I don’t think you can break his arms so easily,”

“Woman, have you seen me fight?”

Kara chuckled, unable to deny that Alex did have skills.

“In all seriousness though,” Alex cleared her throat. “You’ll let me know how it goes, right?”

“I will.”

They let the topic slide. Kara ordered another plate of fries to share (but really, Alex took one and enjoyed watching Kara devour the rest). Kara told her Lena’s visit, about Jack Spheer and about how they used to be close. She told Alex about the upcoming project from Spheerical Industries, that Lena invited her to the press conference for its unveiling and how excited she was to attend it with Lena tomorrow.

Alex paid for dinner. And milkshake at a kiosk nearby and ice-cream from the convenience store. Deciding that she was full, Kara suggested they take a stroll. They ended up walking along the sidewalks, passing restaurants and bars and office buildings. It was a quiet night, already late so most shops were either closed or closing.

“Kara,” Alex said into the silence. Kara could hear Alex’s footsteps coming to a halt, so she spun around, looking at her sister, eyes down-casted. “When you told me you didn’t love Mon-El, that you never did,” Alex continued to say, the hesitated pauses in her sentence worried Kara. “Was it because you loved someone else?” the older sister asked, finally looking up and into Kara’s eyes, beseeching the truth from the Kryptonite.

Kara felt herself go breathless at the question and at Alex’s pleading look. A thousand and one confessions, suppressed admissions, unspoken thoughts reeled through Kara’s mind. She wondered if this was it, if this was the time. The weight of the moment felt like an entire planet on Kara’s chest and she involuntarily gasped albeit softly. It was simple to admit, so simple yet so difficult. Kara chewed the insides of her cheeks as she braved herself for the _moment,_ a nervous habit she wished Alex wouldn’t see through.

At Kara’s prolonged silence, Alex halted. Under the bright streetlights and cold moonlight, Kara stared at her sister. Alex’s dark red hair, bright brown eyes, shimmered underneath the lights. Kara realised she was tearing up; that her tears made Alex’s form shimmer. Kara blinked, wiping her eyes abruptly. She didn’t expect to be overwhelmed to _tears_ but here she was.

“Are you in love with Lena?”

Kara had to tilt her head as if doing that would clarify what Alex just said.

Alex bit her bottom lip, wondering if she had said the right thing. She didn’t want to call Kara out like that. But Alex wasn’t blind. Lena and Kara were close. They were the best of friends and Lena was incredibly supportive and sweet towards Kara. And the woman was gorgeous. Lena was intelligent, kind and despite her family, Lena was _good_. And sometimes, if Alex wasn’t being protective over Kara and _Supergirl_ , Alex was jealous of the woman. Jealous why, Alex couldn’t quite point out yet, but she couldn’t deny the low rumbling envy in her stomach whenever she saw them together, of whenever Kara would go on and on about Lena.

“W-what?”

Neither girls noticed how long it had been as both were deep in their own thoughts until Kara hesitantly asked for clarification.

“It’s just… Ever since you and Lena got… close—

“I’m _not_ in love with Lena.”

Alex frowned slightly at Kara’s snappy tone, confused at her sister’s anger.

“I’m… I’m _not,_ okay?”

“Okay.”

“Why—

“I’m sorry. Hey, hey,” Alex took hurried steps towards Kara, wrapping her in her arms. Kara tried lamely to pull away but eventually found herself craving for the embrace that was coming. “I’m sorry. I just… I wanted to know.”

Kara snuggled as close as she could into Alex’s hug. She pressed her ear against Alex’s chest, enjoying the steady beating of her sister’s heart. It was delightful, always was, to listen to her heartbeat. There was something so graceful to _hear_ the proof of life and to _hear_ Alex alive.

Slowly, Kara wrapped her own arms around her sister’s waist, enveloping them closer to each other. Alex dropped her chin onto Kara’s shoulders and Kara could hear Alex breathe deeply. She was so engrossed in the sound that she almost missed Alex’s next sentence.

“You’ll let me know, right?”

“Hmm?”

“If you… fall in love with someone. Anyone.”

Kara shivered slightly at Alex’s sincerity. At her earnestness. Kara didn’t dare promise. Because she had been keeping her promises to Alex all her life. She was afraid she couldn’t keep this one.

“I need to know you’re alright.”

“I promise you I’ll be alright.”

“But you’ll let me know right?”

Kara simply squeezed Alex tighter, closer to her. Alex seemed to be contented with the response as she inhaled deeply again, dropping a kiss to her shoulder before resting her cheek on Kara’s shoulder again.

…

Kara and Mon-El had the talk on the roof. Mon-El simply wanted to meet Kara. He confessed he had missed her and that he had thought about their argument the other night in Kara’s apartment. Poor guy, he even offered to help fix the table; Kara told him that he had replaced it.

Mon-El wondered aloud if he was just a replacement to the person in Kara’s heart all along.

The bitter question left Kara speechless. This time though, Mon-El didn’t press on. Only offered a comforting hug and a sympathetic rub on Kara’s back. “I was too angry with you the last time to think about what you must’ve felt. Does it hurt?”

Kara chuckled at the irony of the situation. “Terribly.”

“I loved a girl once. Back in Daxam. It was like a lifetime ago… Gosh… I… I sometimes try to forget how it felt like until… you. She was perfect and so, so unavailable.”

Kara broke the hug, took a step back and wiped at her teary eyes. “What happened?”

“She’s married to my friend,” Mon-El said with a soft shrug. “I mean, I still tried. Y’know? With her and all. But I saw how it was hurting her and it pains me. I knew I had to let her go; to stop and let her go.” He sighed.

They shared a quiet pause. And then their senses were overwhelmed by the sounds of car alarms being heard from miles and miles away (alien-hearing and all). Kara leaned on the edge of half-wall, looking out at the cityscape.

“It hurt.” Mon-El said suddenly. He looked to Kara and cracked a smirk. “Terribly,” he added, teasingly reusing Kara's words from before.

At that, Kara burst into laughter. “You’re terrible Mon-El.” The two chuckled to themselves, looking at their own knees. Kara placed a hand on his shoulder. “But you’re good.”

“I try to be, Kara. You taught me how to be good.”

“No Mon-El. I think you’ve always had it in you.”

Mon-El rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “Well… sometimes… it takes someone else to bring it out of you.”

Kara smiled softly.

“You’re a good friend, Kara.”

The relief that washed over her was amazing. Kara was happy to hear that from Mon-El; that the Daxamite still saw Kara as a friend.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. What we had together…”

“I loved you Kara. I don’t know if I still do but…” He trailed off with a soft small chuckle.

Kara sighed and took a seat at the ledge of the building’s roof top. They shared a comfortable silence before Kara replied. “I know. I loved you too.”

“But you _know_ you don’t anymore.” Mon-El said, joining Kara at the ledge.

“I don’t. I could never love you the way you need me to.” Kara felt that the honesty this time was not harsh, was not hurtful. It was just… honest. Truthful. She gave him a smile and he gave one in return.

“I get it. I get it _now_. I’m sorry I didn’t let myself try harder that night. I was—”

“Angry. And I completely understand that,” Kara nodded, putting a hand on his arm.

“I wasn’t willing to let you go.”

Kara nodded.

“I know it is stupid to want you to ignore your… heart. It’s not fair for either of us. And that heart thing… it’s pretty darn annoying, isn’t it?”

“So darn annoying. It’s so…”

“Painful.”

“Yeah.”

“They are worth it though?”

Kara pursed her lips into a tight smile. “You have no idea.”

“I hope someday you can tell me more about this lucky person.”

“Someday.”

“Like I said Kara Zor-El,” Mon-El said, grinning that boyish grin of his. “You’re a pretty good friend.”

“You too, Mon-El.”

…

Kara thought the meeting with Mon-El couldn’t go any better. They both ended things on a fairly good note. Mon-El apologised for being a subpar boyfriend when he was Kara’s and Kara apologised for being in love with someone else yet was willing to lead Mon-El on in hopes that he could change her heart. They hugged, Kara gave him a small peck on his cheeks for closure’s sake, Mon-El walked her back to her apartment and Kara had a very good feeling that this could be the start of a really interesting friendship. After all, Mon-El was one of the very few aliens on Earth who knew Kara deeply. They did have a shot at the friendship thing before they rushed into romance, and Kara was glad that they were willing to go back to that.

‘Are we still watching episode 9 tomorrow?’

‘How did it go with Mon-El?’

‘I’ll tell you about it on Thursday. You can’t ditch me now.’

Kara smiled into her palms when Alex sent her a red heart emoji followed by a: ‘I promised I’d never, right?’

‘I’m glad you keep your promises.’

‘See you on Thursday?’

‘See you on Thursday, Al.’

…

Kara had never felt so awkward; coming in between Jack and Lena, two past-lovers who had so much in common; strong, confident, intelligent, visionaries with a heart of gold. Or so it seemed.

But Lena always had a way of making her feel comfortable. Whether it was simply by introducing her to Jack (with the lingering touch of fingers to forearm) or complimenting her (“She is one of the best reporters in National City,” had a nice ring to it). Kara blushed under Lena’s intense gaze and amused smirk.

What made Kara feel uncomfortable, was unsurprisingly, Jack; Jack had a vibe to him that didn’t sit all that well for Kara. When Kara was tipped off by another reporter about the nano swarm and said reporter was murdered afterwards (a spontaneous explosion from within the car they were talking in), Kara knew her hunch was right. Kara didn’t like this Jack guy.

…

The second time it happened, it was a day after the unveiling. Kara tried to stop it from happening. She managed to save Snapper while he was interviewing one of the sources but—

“Jack Spheer’s Nano swarm ate my source!” Kara was furious when she stormed into the living room. “Two people had died, and I couldn’t save them! And I had no idea how to stop the nanobots.”

Mon-El looked up from his book, uncrossing his legs and sitting upright on the couch. “Hey,” Mon-El waved up at her.

“Kara,” Alex stood up in greeting. “You’re back.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I just… ugh,” Kara gave her sister a quick hug before turning to Mon-El. “What are you doing here?” she asked him and earned herself a smack on her arm and a disapproving look from Alex. “No, I mean. I’m glad you’re here; just curious.”

“I wanted to drop these off,” Mon-El gestured to the woven box on the floor. “They’re some of your stuff you left in my bunker and… um… I thought you might like these.” Kara looked towards the stack of books on the table. She recognized a few titles which Lena had gifted her and some which she grew up reading and loving.

“That’s so sweet. Thank you,” Kara said, smiling up at him. She gave him a hug in thanks before picking up the woven box. “I’m just going to put this away.”

Alex smiled at her, feeling a little awkward and out of place.

…

A few hours prior, Alex had let herself in to find Mon-El already in the apartment, feet up on the table and TV switched on. “Oh hey. Alex.” He said, waving up at her. “How are you?”

“Good. I guess. What about you?” Alex said, still in surprise as she slowly closed the door behind her. She took in his ironed striped shirts and denims.

“Yeah. I’m alright. Just came to say hi to Kara and to drop off some stuff.”

“Right. Um… do you want something to drink?”

“I’d have a glass of whiskey, please.”

“Ah, right. Whiskey.”

“No wait, I’ll have a scotch.”

Alex nodded tersely and made her way to the cabinets. “What did you do today? You look nice.”

“I just discovered this amazing device called the iron. It’s got a flat metal surface which is supposed to be hot enough to denature the fabric of your clothes and then press on it again so it straightens out. When the fabric cools, it will retain its pressed form. Look!”

Alex chuckled at the Daxamite’s sincere fascination towards the iron. “Good for you, Mon-El.”

“I straightened all the clothes in my wardrobe. And all of J’onn’s and Winn’s. Amazing!”

Alex laughed, amused at the amount of free time Mon-El had and the things he decided to do with it. “Here,” she passed him a glass of scotch.

“Thank you.”

“So uh… anything good on the TV?” Alex asked.

“It’s a documentary about giraffes. Where can I find a savannah?”

He reminded her of Kara when she was a little over 8 months on Earth. She took a serious fascination over animals especially the desert dwellers. Something about the Xerocoles and their amazing abilities to adapt to harsh conditions piqued her curiosity.

“You know Kara used to love wildlife trivia? I think I can find you something you might like.”

Mon-El’s eyes shone with childlike wonder as Alex stood to look for the encyclopaedia, she bought Kara years ago. She remembered seeing Kara unpack it onto a shelf in her bedroom. Alex switched on the lights to Kara’s bedroom and chuckled at the mess on the floor and bed. She wondered if that was what Kara attended to every time she came over. She recalled her sister stumbling her way into her room, locking herself in there for a minute or two before coming out, sweater a little dishevelled but otherwise untouched.

She didn’t know why she felt nervous all of a sudden, stepping into Kara’s private space. She had been in her room a couple of times. But this time brought nerves and jitters to her palms, made her think about _things_ , like that one afternoon she had toppled on top of her Kara in bed by accident, like the many, many times she had woken up in Kara’s bed after a sleepover, on accident or otherwise; the softness of her blankets was feather light underneath her fingers as Alex dug into the blankets. She picked up the pile of laundry Kara had deliberately shoved under her desk and threw them into the laundry basket. She sighed, smiling at the tardiness of her sister which hadn’t seemed to have changed since their childhood.

Alex had always been the neat freak, always putting things in order while Kara was the embodiment of disorder that burned chaos into her life, making it ten-fold more exciting, more interesting. Kara was wild spirit of 4 am night flights and freeze-breathing the local lake two days before winter just so they could ice-skate together when everyone else wasn’t crowding the lake just yet. Kara was always the one who’d leave toppled glass in her path and mud prints after a particularly rainy day out. And Alex had learned to pick up those broken pieces of silica, wipe away dirt from polished wood and recently, she was privy to seeing Kara do some of the cleaning up herself. Seeing her laundry haphazardly strewed across her room somehow brought back comforting memories of their childhood. It reminded her of the simpler times; before Kara became Supergirl to the world, risking her life every day to save others. Before Alex realised how afraid she was to lose her little sister, bullet-proof and superhuman strength aside.

“Hey Alex! Did you find the book?” Mon-El’s voice echoed in the hallway, snapping her out of her daydream. Alex tossed another piece of worn sweater into the basket before reaching for the encyclopaedia on the shelf next to the desk. It warmed her heart to see that Kara still kept it, _brought it_ along when she moved into this apartment. It was such an old gift, one given to the Kryptonian when she was slightly past 14.

An hour later found Mon-El completely immersed in the pages of the book while Alex casually surfing the TV channels while waiting for Kara, all the while resisting the urge to probe Mon-El for information of whatever transcended last night between him and Kara. It was clearly done out of respect for the both of them. Alex kept reminding herself that Kara was an adult, perfectly capable of handling _stuff_ ; except that Mon-El was… different. He wasn’t like James or those boys Kara went out with throughout high school. Mon-El was closer in genetic makeup to Kara than any of those boys could ever be; even Alex. She casted him a glance, his lips mumbling as he read. He reminded her of Kara. Even their reading behaviour was similar.

Sometimes, Alex thought about the difference between Kara and her; how willing Kara was to see past all of them and loved her past them. She reminisced the first few months Kara when came into her life, how petty she would be towards Kara and how they’d fight over the most miniscule of things. Kara was stubborn, like her, and Eliza and Jeremiah always had to break up their fights without taking any sides. They were competitive, Kara being teen-alien level of awesomeness while Alex bring a perfect GPA student. She smiled reminiscing their teens, how stupid they were fighting each other all the time; well, until the Sheriff Colllins’ case. Kara had risked her identity to save her, just like she did with the jet plane incident. Alex was sure Kara would continue risking _more than her identity_ for her and it scared her. Kara had saved her time and time again and all Alex could think of was how Kara had been there for her all this while, supporting her and loving her, sometimes Alex thought Kara cared more for her than for herself. And Alex would always be haunted by the words she said in rage and immaturity, of how she hated that her parents had adopted Kara thirteen years ago. Sometimes, Alex wondered if she was good enough for Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see a prominent bromanship between Kara and Mon-El (even between Mon-El and Alex), will work around that.  
> Mon-El may be a fun character to write from now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on 2x18 Ace Reporter (I love this episode).  
> Lena and Kara interactions.  
> Lena and Jack interactions.  
> Snapper is awesome but I don't know how to write him.  
> Beth is hot but she's kinda evil.  
> Lena cries. Kara offers her everlasting friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Taking it one step at a time.  
> Cheers!

Lena contemplated Jack’s proposal for dinner. It had barely been two days and the man had dropped her a text, two verbal requests and when Lena looked up from her laptop screen to see the olive-skinned man with his trimmed beard and dark brows a day after the unveiling, she was tempted to give in.

“Are you mad at me? Is it because I cracked the Nano code alone?” Jack asked, making himself comfortable on the chair in front of Lena. “Seems petty for you.”

His tone was inviting a playful banter. Lena missed this side of Jack.

“Just stop Jacky; you know I wish you all the success—

“But?”

“I’m still not going for dinner with you.”

Jack nodded. They shared a comfortable silence and Lena for the first time took her time to observe Jack’s features under the yellow sun rays which poured through her office ceiling-to-floor windows. He seemed older, tired. It had been a while since she last saw Jack and their breakup was conclusive although, Jack’s body language today seemed to sing a different tune. Jack held her gaze before asking, his tone sincere and hushed, “Do you have fun here?”

Lena was taken by his question, and the assault of the things she had come to associate with _here_ , with National City, with her current life. She thought of L Corp, her work with her team, her newfound friends, Kara, and it made Lena smile unconsciously. “I feel good about the work we do.”

“You had fun with me,” Jack tried. “I mean, ruining your eyesight staring into a microscope…”

Lena smirked.

“ _Throwing_ said microscope at my head when I was insufferable.” Jack earned himself a softer smile. Lena recalled the countless arguments they had over their relationship, conflict at work, and the inevitable breakup that eventually paved way for Jack’s current success and Lena’s current life. “I didn’t like the way things ended with us.”

Lena bit her lip, hearing those feared words. She had hoped Jack didn’t come for a reconciliation. It had hurt so terribly when Jack pushed her away; the volume of anger and unresolved issues. She remembered the slamming of the door when Jack made her choose between their him and Lena’s wishes to rebuild her life from the debris of the Luthor’s family name. The ultimatum had left Lena unhappy and angry, throwing some choice insults and hurtful comments at Jack. It was ugly. But to Lena, she was so sure it was over. Until now; Jack was seeking her out, begging for a second chance.

“I just missed you.”

Lena wished so badly that Kara was here with her. She really needed some backbone right now.

“May I _please_ have dinner with you?” Jack asked, his eyes shimmer with sincerity. Lena saw the man she once loved behind those eyes. She softened, wondering if there was still an ounce of chance for redemption, for the both of them. “Simple as that.”

“Just dinner.”

“It’s entirely your prerogative.”

Jack’s witty comments made Lena smile. She decided that she did miss him after all.

…

Kara sat awkwardly between Mon-El and Alex, ranting about the little progress she made with cracking Spheerical Industries’ shady background.

“What about Lena?” Mon-El suggested at Kara’s despair about not having anymore sources or leads. “She’s having dinner with Jack tonight.”

Kara scowled. “How did you know that?”

Alex quirked a brow at Kara, noticing the inflection of her tone.

“She called earlier. Um, I kinda forgot. Anyway, she was hoping you’d talk her _out_ of it.”

Kara stood abruptly. “Let’s go, come on.”

Alex and Mon-El stood in suit. “I don’t think she meant in-person,” Alex pointed out.

“Yeah, this just feels like stalking,” Mon-El said with a nervous laugh when Kara was grabbing everyone’s coat and handing it to them.

“No, it’s journalism. Are you two coming?”

“It’s very creepy journalism,” Mon-El commented with a shrug and started walking towards where Kara was standing at the door.

“Kara, are you sure you—

“Yes, Alex. I can’t let Jack’s evil nano swarm keep killing people. If something is wrong with the technology, it has to be put to a stop now.”

“Do you think the three of us showing up would y’know, freak Jack out a little? Just a little?”

“You’re right. You’re a genius Mon-El. You’re going to come with me. Alex, I’m sorry I have to do this tonight. I’m so so so sorry we might have to reschedule movie night.”

“What? Why can’t I go with you?”

Kara hated it when she had to use the “I need to keep you safe” line on Alex. As honest and truthful as it was, she knew it made Alex feel weak and Kara knew Alex was anything but. Except Kara also knew she wouldn’t put Alex in danger if she ever had a choice. And Mon-El had quicker regenerating cells than Alex.

“No. I’m not staying here when you two get to play detective out there.”

“You can drive us there.” Kara did a mental face palm; Mon-El and his foolish ingenuity. The annoyed, unsatisfied look only flashed briefly across Alex’s face before the older sister relented with an insincere eye roll.

“But at the sight of any nano swarm, Alex, you have to get out of there.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, but we don’t know what the nano swarm can do. Lena speaks highly of Jack; I’m sure whatever he’s capable of doing is beyond our—

“Yeah, the nano swarm ate someone.”

“Thanks Mon-El,” the sisters echoed in harmony. Kara gave Alex a pleading look. “Promise me.”

“Okay, I promise,” Alex finally relented.

…

Alex sat outside the restaurant while Kara and Mon-El dashed in, putting on a very convincing façade of two lovers being on a date. The two did a spectacular job at crashing Lena and Jack’s date, both bumbling idiots just shimmying their way into their conversation, three sentences to romance.

“You look stunning, by the way,” Jack had commented, his eyes dropping to take in Lena’s amazing red dress and equally amazing cleavage. Kara, hearing it, couldn’t help but roll her eyes (at Jack and at herself, because, gosh, she couldn’t keep her eyes off Lena’s… uh, dress).

“Oh my gosh, you guys,” she chose that moment to prance into their space. “Are you guys eating here?”

“Cuz we’re eating here!” Mon-El and Kara sang together, laughing as they pointed to each other.

Lena raised a brow at them. “What a complete and utter coincidence!” she said through a gritted smile, scrunching her nose the way which made Kara grin a little wider.

“Ms. Danvers,” Jack greeted her curtly.

“Hi, this is my boyfriend, Mike,” Kara nudged Mon-El to shake Jack’s hand.

“Yeah, Mike. Mikey, that I am.” Mon-El introduced, gripping his hand in a way that wouldn’t crush his metacarpals.

“Do you mind if we join?” Kara asked, putting her coat down behind an empty chair next to Lena.

“Oh, um—

“Yeah, let’s grab our seats, okay? Cool.” Mon-El joined the table, pulling up a chair and sitting next to Jack.

“Kara, I appreciate the effort but it’s not necessary,” Lena leaned in to whisper next to Kara’s ears. There was amusement in her tone and Kara noted the unique fragrance Lena so rarely wore.

“That’s what friends are for,” Kara reassured Lena, clamping her hand in hers. Lena smiled, taking in the warmth of Kara’s hand and the way Kara was determined to have her back.

“So, how’s the Biomax rollout going?” Kara turned to Jack, her reporter mode switched on as she leaned back into her seat.

“Are you trying to get me in your crosshairs, Ms. Danvers?”

“A reporter’s job is never done,” Kara answered with a smirk.

“Biomax is going wonderfully, so far,” Jack replied, taking a sip off red wine, savouring its taste while Kara pressed on with more questions about his mode of conducting trials, whether he conducted his human trials or not. When Lena joined in, curiosity and all, Kara noted the discomfort Jack was in.

“Was that the only reason you came?” Jack asked, eyes flashing at Lena.

“No,” Lena replied. The tension between the two ex-lovers was palpable and made Mon-El and Kara squirm in their seats. When Jack chose to recount his eureka moment and admit his regret of letting Lena go, Kara thought that behind the scientist, Jack was quite the romantic. She saw the look on Lena’s face softened with something akin to affection when Jack whispered, “I should’ve gone with her.”

Kara watched as Lena and Jack geeked out over murmurations and AI-linked sentience, all made patchy sense to Kara. She saw the adoration in both their eyes, realised that maybe Mon-El and her had intruded on perhaps a _moment_.

“Kara, I think we should— we should go,” Mon-El said, standing up, cueing the blonde to follow.

Albeit reluctant to leave, Kara stood anyway, bidding them goodnight. They re-joined Alex in the car, Kara huffing in annoyance while Mon-El grinning smugly. “What was the hug for anyway?” Kara asked, referring to the goodbye hug Mon-El gave Jack. Mon-El only held up a security badge, Jack’s face plastered at the top left corner of it.

“You know, for journalism?” the Daxamite said with a cheeky grin that made even Alex nod in endorsement. On the way to Spheerical Industries’ building, Kara told Alex about the concept behind nano swarm’s making, knowing she would take interest in those science-y stuff. Alex did and was amazed by the ingenuity but was more concerned about Kara’s safety.

“I suppose if anyone ought to be concerned, it’s Lena. She’s really letting her guard down around Jack,” Kara said.

“I don’t think he’d hurt her. He’s in love with her,” Mon-El said with a shrug. “Lena seems smitten by him. He’s charming. You know, minus the whole… evil human-eating nano swarm.”

Alex stole a glance at Kara whose face turned sour at the mention of Lena and Jack in love. “You… alright?” she tried.

“Yeah. I just can’t wait to find out what’s Jack up to,” Kara said, brushing the topic aside. Mon-El saw the way Kara was acting uncomfortably; noted it the moment they saw Lena and Jack. “The sooner we uncover the truth, the better.”

…

While Kara and Alex (at her insistence that Mon-El and her took turns doing the action-y stuff) infiltrated Jack’s office and stole his data using a thumb drive, Lena stood with him at the balcony of hers. “It’s a nice view, Lena,” Jack said, breathing deeply as they took in the cityscape in front of them.

“It’s pretty decent,” Lena said with a shy smile.

“Pretty _dec_ ,” Jack said with a cheeky smile and they dissolved into silly giggles. “I’m ridiculous, I know.” He shrugged, standing upright as he turned his back to the view so he could look at Lena directly. “You know… I never thought regret could be so petrifying,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

Lena nodded.

“For making you choose; L Corp or me. I was greedy.”

“You were hurt. I forgave you a long time ago, Jack.”

Jack nodded. He took a tentative step forward, reaching for Lena’s hands.

“Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d have stayed. Maybe we would’ve figured out the nano swarm together; maybe I’d have a legacy of my own apart from my family,” Lena looked down at their conjoined hands.

“Now I wonder what would happen if I’d said there was room for me and your family; if I’d have made room,” Jack said, brushing his thumbs across Lena’s knuckles. “If I could still do that,” he asked tentatively, tilting Lena’s chin with his hand so that she’d meet his gaze. Lena tried to read his eyes, read the love that was screaming to be felt, the years of memories they had created together, the passion they once were able to kindle just by being next to each other. Lena tried and, in her trial, Jack leant in and captured her lips with his, kissing her tenderly. Lena allowed herself to let her guard down so that she could feel him. She did for a moment until she couldn’t. Lena pulled away. “Jack, I—

“I have to go.”

“Jack—

“I remembered that I had something um, at the office, that I have to do. I have to go,” Jack said, looking disoriented and afraid.

Before Lena could say anything, Jack darted for the door, leaving Lena confused and guilty.

…

The next day found Lena staring at an archived photo album of Jack and her in her laptop. She sometimes questioned herself why she kept those photos, knowing they only bring her pain; pain at knowing they’d never have what they had again, pain at knowing that her heart could never love him like she used to. She was deep in thoughts when Kara came knocking at her office door.

“You’re distracted,” Kara commented, raising a brow at her dark-haired friend as she stepped into her office.

“Busted,” Lena said with a smirk. She closed the lid of her laptop, reminding herself to do something about the photos later.

“So… about last night,” Kara said, nose scrunching cutely, in partial guilt and total embarrassment.

Lena chuckled in adoration. “Yeah, it was, uh, interesting—

“Weird—

“Well, no, but, uh, Mike seems nice.”

Kara’s eyes widened at that, seeming to remember that last night was the first time Lena had seen Mon-El. She had briefly mentioned Mike as her boyfriend when they were still together, but Lena had no idea about their breakup. “Ah, right. That was Mike,” she said, taking a seat across Lena.

Lena gave her a tight smile, hoping Kara couldn’t read anything else from her. When she saw Mike last night, she had been more surprised that anything. She had expected someone less… handsome and more… subpar but she told herself not to insult Kara’s standards in men, so she gave some room for variation. But seeing Mon-El, rugged handsomeness, full-framed glasses to match Kara’s, brilliant smile and all, she couldn’t help but feel jealousy rising in her chest. The only comfort she had was that Jack was with her last night and he was _hot_. Kara didn’t seem impressed by him though, so that sucked.

“I really appreciate you coming to my rescue, Kara. I didn’t expect you to actually come to the restaurant,”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It’s just… Mike told me you called and I just…”

“Maybe we could do a proper double date sometime,” Lena offered with a smile.

Kara nodded with a nervous lip-bite. “Lena, actually, I came here to talk to you about Jack,” she said.

Lena raised a curious brow.

“I’ve been investigating him,” Kara admitted.

“Yeah I can tell,” Lena said with a chuckle. “You’re very _subtle_ , Kara,” she teased.

“I promise I’ll get better,” Kara said with a shy grin. “But Lena… there’s something you must know.”

Lena leaned forward. Kara sucked in a breath. She was scared that the news was going to hurt her, what with Jack and her probably getting closer and all. “Lena, I think Jack is covering something up. Biomax is _dangerous_.”

The information was shocking to Lena. Jack had always been very ethical in his researches and experiments. She wanted to deny it, to discredit Kara but the video evidence Kara brought along with her was not on Jack’s side. It pained her to see Jack do something so wrong, so unlike him. Kara had showed Lena the video of Jack which Alex had found after hacking into Jack’s office computer. The same video that revolted the scientist in Alex and Kara last night and now, Lena.

“Kara—

“He’s using the nano swarm to kill people. Lena, I know the Jack you know isn’t the one we see now but—

“Who else knows?”

“Just us.” She left Mon-El and Alex out of the matter, not wanting to freak Lena out further.

Lena nodded solemnly. “I won’t ask you to bury it, but please, let me talk to Jack before it gets out.”

“Lena, he’s killed two people. I know how you feel about him, but you will be the third if you confront him,” Kara said urgently. She held Lena’s shoulder, begging her to obey her. “Please just promise me you’ll stay away from him for now. It’s for your own safety.”

Lena looked at where Kara’s hand rested on her shoulder before turning her gaze to Kara’s eyes. She found Kara’s request immensely difficult to fulfil; she was not someone who would stand by the side lines and watch someone she knew, loved, trusted be taken down. She knew she had to be part of it, regardless of the outcome. She needed to hear it from Jack himself if what Kara was telling her was true. “Thank you for telling me.”

Kara nodded. She knew that sentiment of gratitude was just a façade, to avoid actually agreeing to stay away from Jack Spheer. But she also knew that Lena Luthor was too headstrong for her own good, and Kara wondered if she loved or hated that about her. Knowing there was no way to persuade her otherwise, Kara gave Lena a squeeze on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Lena nodded with a forced chuckle. “I actually, I’ve got some work to do.”

Kara took it as her cue to leave. She could ask Winn to monitor Lena, to make sure that at least she’d be there if Lena decided to confront Jack. She paused at the door, turning around to see Lena, leaning against her desk. “I’m really sorry, Lee.”

“You were just doing your job; it’s all any of us can do.”

…

Kara thought her apology to Snapper went well. She let him know that she was sorry for disobeying him when she first posted her first blog post about Cadmus and the alien registry. The offer to help him with Spheerical Industries’ story was accepted albeit less than gracefully by Snapper. Kara showed him her findings from her interviews and inside information. She could’ve sworn she saw Snapper raise a brow in amazement. But he would bring the truth to the grave with him. He did however, gave her a “Not bad, Danvers,” and shared some of his findings with her. “Beth Breen signs the cheques. If Biomax fails, she stands to lose _everything_.”

The phone call Winn made to Kara, warning her that Lena was approaching Spheerical Industries’ lab tore Kara away from her very rare peaceful sharing with Snapper. He huffed in indifference when she told him she had to go.

…

Lena saw the absolute fear in Jack’s eyes before Beth Breen took control over his mind via Biomax. She saw the fear of losing total control of his will, his consciousness; saw the life drain from the dark orbs of Jack’s eyes at a single press of the button. Beth Breen was cocky and sarcastic; she had no remorse of her actions and even took pride on it. She didn’t care if Biomax removed free will, didn’t care if it altered the brain chemistry forever, didn’t care if Biomax will merge with the cells of any living being it occupied, that if Biomax was to be terminated, it would kill everyone that consumed it along with it. Beth Breen wanted power over the people’s autonomy, she wanted total control. And most of all, she wanted the money that came with it.

“You know what they say, behind every great man is a strong woman,” Beth proclaimed smugly. She had Jack under her control, standing next to her, eyes completely lifeless but Lena was confident that he was still in there somewhere.

“Oh I wouldn’t know; I’ve never stood behind a man.”

Beth was impressed that even under such circumstance, Lena Luthor was capable of making witty comebacks. Except that Beth wasn’t one to back down from a comeback. “Of course, you just clean up after your brother.” She watched as Lena’s expression turned dark. “Idiot,” she spat at the Luthor. “You walked away from the breakthrough of the century,” she said, marvelling at Jack, at _Biomax_. She ran her fingers across Jack’s scalp and Lena shuddered as she saw the mosaic pattern of the nano swarm flicker under Beth’s touch.

“It doesn’t work!”

“See, I think it works beautifully. I have a brilliant figurehead that will do _everything_ that I say. The entire world will welcome the nano swarm into every hospital, army base and eventually, home.”

Lena regarded the shorter olive-skinned woman. There was absolutely no concern of the consequences of her own actions in Beth’s eyes. Just pure—

“You’re repulsive,” Lena said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“I’m a realist.”

Lena saw the flash in Beth’s eyes. She knew what was next. At Beth’s command, Jack charged towards Lena, the injector in his hand. What Lena didn’t know was coming, was the loud crash through the roof and the familiar feeling of being swept off her feet.

“Are you okay?” Supergirl asked, running a hand ever so instinctively over her head.

“Yeah.”

“You have to get out of here,” Supergirl told Lena seriously. “It’s for your own safety!”

Lena tried to ignore how the phrase sounded incredibly familiar. She had to because the nano swarm are now fleeing Jack’s form and forming what looked disgustingly akin to a starling migration formation and heading towards them.

“I have a better idea; you keep them occupied.”

Supergirl knew that tone of Lena’s. It was action time, no doubt; Lena Luthor had got something up her sleeves and there was no room for reservation when it came to Lena’s brilliance, that much Kara knew. Kara could do distraction, yeah, that was simple, right? She took off to the air, zipping past the swarm as Beth steered them towards her. Supergirl tried to take a hit at Beth but the dark-haired woman watched her and shielded herself with the nano swarm. In Beth’s divided attention, Lena lunged at her, aiming a punch to her face but Beth rear-kicked her, knocking the wind out of Lena’s lungs.

“Did I mention I was a black-belt?” Beth taunted, glancing down at Lena. The fair-skinned woman swung her arms upward, effectively landing a punch in Beth’s face. She seemed to pack a punch because Beth’s eyes then rolled upwards as she went unconscious.

“Did I mention I was a Luthor?” Lena muttered. She stomped on the communicator, hoping it would deactivate the nano swarm which was now trapping Supergirl against the wall. It was slowly devouring her while the alien struggled to fight them. The destruction of the communicator seemed to have little to no effect, in fact Jack wailed in pain, clutching his temple as he stumbled over to Lena. “The mainframe,” he choked, pointing to the CPU. Lena dashed to the mainframe, observing the lines of encrypted code; They were familiar as she scrolled through the pages. She recognised some of her signature codes between Jack’s and realised that he hadn’t changed much of the code to the nano swarm. A spark of hope bloomed in her heart, at the fact that Jack kept a great deal of their shared findings in the current creation, at the fact that she could decrypt the code and override the system, at the fact that she could save Jack.

“I can override this,” Lena yelled as Jack doubled over in pain.

“You kill it and you kill him. They’ve merged with him,” Beth croaked from the ground. “Don’t do this—

“Shut up!” Lena yelled. She looked to Jack, crying on the ground as the nano swarm surrounded him as if sensing despair. Her gaze drifted to Supergirl, pinned to the wall, helpless as the nano swarm had now conquered half her body and part of her face.

“Do it, Lena! Please!” Jack screamed in pain.

“I’m so sorry, Jack!”

“Please!”

She entered the override code, slamming the last keys as the nano swarm froze mid-air, all rendered completely useless at her final strike.

The small twitch at the corner of Jack’s lips was brief as he dropped back to the ground, lifeless. There was a flood of colour to his eyes when he smiled but it went as quickly as it came. Jack was dead and Lena kneeled, crying next to his immobile body.

Kara knocked Beth unconscious again, checking with Winn for the police’s ETA before moving towards Lena and Jack. Kara watched Lena cradle Jack’s head, sobbing and muttering her apologies. She reached slowly to hug her shoulders, offering comfort as the dark-haired woman cried.

The police arrived soon after, incarcerating Beth and inspecting the scene. Kara held Lena in her arms when Jack’s body was taken away, stroking her back gently while Lena sobbed uncontrollably into her shoulders. She offered to make sure Lena returned to her apartment safely and once she saw Lena to bed, Kara dropped by CatCo’s building to follow up with the report. Snapper appeared hangry, as always and Kara felt smart that she brought along some successfully baked Danish cookies, even pointing out the significance of sea salt in baking and later finding out Snapper’s more-than-normal knowledge in baking. Snapper let her look at the article he published and Kara’s brows raised at the byline; her name next to Snapper Carr’s gave her a sense of accomplishment. As much an ass Snapper could be at times, he was a good mentor. “You did good, Danvers.”

Kara couldn’t believe her ears, especially when Snapper proceeded to mutter his thanks. And she couldn’t believe her ears even more when Snapper told her that she could continue working in CatCo.

“You did a good job; you didn’t give up even when the whistle blower got killed. You aren’t afraid to pursue the truth no matter the risk and we need more reporters like that. More reporters like you who care about the truth.”

It felt amazing to hear Snapper sing her praises like that; and it was even worth it when Snapper insulted her Danish baked goods.

…

When Kara dropped by L Corp the next day to check up on Lena, her heart broke a little seeing Lena, brows furrowed and eyes swollen. She had obviously been crying the whole night. Even behind flawless make up and kempt hair, there was something extremely off about Lena’s posture, the vibe around her and the plain stasis in her movements.

“Lena?” Kara ventured carefully, sitting next to her on the pristine white couch. She placed the vase of flowers on the glass coffee table, slowly searching Lena’s eyes for a response.

“Those are beautiful,” Lena whispered. The smile she threw at Kara did not quite reach her eyes. In fact, it was barely a twitch.

“I wish there was more I could do to help,” Kara said softly.

“You came to see me, that’s more than enough,” Lena said, turning her gaze from the flowers to Kara. A thousand and one things reeling through her mind and she couldn’t focus on anything. Her expression went back to blank and Kara shifted in her seat.

“Beth is in jail…” Kara tried.

“Good.”

Kara noted the coldness in her tone. The absolute disdain Lena had for Beth. Lena seemed to notice the way Kara flinch at her tone. “When Lex was arrested, my mother was there. She saw her son, dragged, bleeding and raving from the house and when I got home, she was tidying his room like he’d been away on a business trip.”

“That’s how I feel. Cold and _calm._ Until I think about Beth dying in jail and then I feel warm for a minute.”

“You’re in shock, Lena.”

“I don’t know. Loss does strange things to my family and I’ve lost a lot of people.”

“Well you’re not going to lose me.”

Kara saw the way Lena’s eyes well with tears, saw the redness return around her eyes and her lips tremble. “I think when I feel things again, I am going to be very, very afraid of the person I might be,” Lena said, staring into Kara’s eyes, as if pleading to be understood.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” Kara said, letting go of her clutch on Lena’s hands to move to hug her shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Lena asked, leaning into her biceps.

“I will always be your friend, and I will always protect you.”

Lena closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. Kara brushed a finger across her cheek, sweeping it along Lena’s sharp jaw lines and resting on her lap finally. “I promise,” Kara whispered, kissing her forehead gently.


	12. The Address in a Temporary Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I needed to let this be known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not part of the story.

Hello you.

Hope y’all are taking care of yourselves (in Oprah’s booming voice: “You get some self-care, you get some self-care, you get some self-care, everybody gets some self-care!”). I’m a ridiculous pedunculus; love me, human.

I received some pretty nasty comments after I posted Chapter 11; some people didn’t like that I tagged Maggie/Alex, Kara & Mon-El or Lena & Kara relationships in this story. Those comments finally broke the streak of the otherwise pretty “clean” comment section. I ain’t hating. I completely read you, fellow humans.

Kindly allow me to clarify, this fic is _mainly_ Kalex; I have always thought Chapter 1 outlined it pretty clearly. I did try to depict all of the other relationships which I tagged as canon-ly as I could. I didn’t mean to disturb anyone with this pairing; just trying to enjoy writing some amateur angst between two blood-unrelated beings who care for each other deeply.

With that, I apologise if my tags seemed misleading and if I disturbed and disgusted you. I have removed all possible misleading tags because I don’t want to disturb any future readers who might think Kalex is disgusting. I hope the labels now are straightforward. I really enjoy what this ship has to offer and found an interesting legion of Kalex fans on AO3 to read with/from. I hope y’all will continue to stick with me as we journey through more amateur angst and softcore hurt, comfort and dramatized canon shit.

Once again, I am really sorry, people whom I have unintentionally disturbed and disgusted.

To all of you opting to stay with me, thanks for your support. I am glad to be back. Trying to keep myself afloat in this capricious ocean called life. Holding on to some decent buoys currently; hoping I'll learn how to surf these waves soon. Love y’all loads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m moving to this Chapter 12’s notes once I finish writing Chapter 12.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bad habit when editing; replacing certain words but forgetting to accommodate the change with the tenses and sentence structures. I try to spot these errors and correct them (I know it grates on some people's nerves because it does grate on mine). Forgive me


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